To be devastated about Rolf...

[GiddyStars]

So Rolf Harris joins the list of those who have been arrested as part of Operation Yewtree (I know this is old news elsewhere but I don't read the Australian press).

I am distraught. I love Rolf and have always thought that he was a genuinely sweet and kind man. In fact I have said in the past to DH (following other high profile arrests), that if it ever came out that Rolf was horrid I would be devastated. And now I am.

He maintains no wrong doing. I will be upset either way. If he is found guilty and I have been wrong all these years or if he is innocent and an old man is about to be dragged through the mud.

Anyone else feel all out of kilter on hearing this or AIBU and a silly nostalgic?

Sorry vicar I have just actually read the story now and not Thr headlines (been proofreading for DH all night) and I see what's actually happened.

at all the "ooh, I always thought there was something about him"

Yes, of course you did.............

Well, I'm hoping it comes to nothing, as I've always been a fan of Rolf.

I met him a couple of years ago, and was amazed to find myself so overcome I could barely speak (and I'm mid-40s...). Such an iconic figure from my childhood.

If he's charged/convicted I will revise my opinions of him, but not until then.

Agree with you McNewPants

If you "know" and like someone from the television, you don't really "know" then at all. You really can't make a judgement based on a TV persona.

I have heard of these Rolf suspicions before and I am so saddened. I thought he was a good guy. They say theres no smoke without fire and hearing his name again makes me fear the worst.

Well for those who reported Rolf Harris I belive you.

Well for those who reported Rolf Harris I belive you.

I dunno, I'd rather wait until I hear some evidence or even know what Rolf Harris is to be charged with, before I decide who to believe.

I don't stand by the 'I believe you campaign' and I say that as a victim.

I believe that everyone should be taken seriously.

Whether that means Tesco, for believing I stole from them, or an individual who believes they have been abused. That does not make the accused guilty by default. I was not guilty of stealing. Those accused may not be guilty of the crimes they're accused of.

So long as the victim is taken seriously, belief is not necessary and could be harmful... do you believe the person who denies the charges made against them? To be fair, you HAVE to believe both the accuser and the accused. To be realistic and fair you have to take both seriously.

When I was raped I wanted to be believed of course, but I would have accepted being taken seriously and I would expect, no demand, that the person I accused was taken seriously too. That is what the law is for.

I agree that no one should ever be fobbed off. No one should ever be seen as guilty just because they've been accused either.

I think it's very dangerous ground to bring faith into it, even if that would have served me better, I would have been less of a 'victim' had I been believed without question, but that would not have been right.

So, person/people who've accused Rolf and others, I take you seriously, you deserve to be treated with respect, as a truthful person. But surely, the accused deserves the same? Within the law?

So am I wrong in supporting rape campaigns

So is Rolf Harris been arrested for suspected paedophilia or for suspected sexual harassment?

Believe it.

No, don't be daft.

Being taken seriously makes a huge difference, make that the campaign.

Blind faith helps no one, and could create victims itself.

Like I say, I'm a 'victim' all I needed was to be taken seriously. Though I may have wanted to be believed, the law shouldn't act on faith or sincere accusations. I needed my family and friend to 'believe', I needed the law to take me seriously, which at the time I didn't feel they did.

So please don't go 'believing' everyone on my behalf thank you. just push for their right to be listened to and taken seriously.

Aldiwhore I hope the bastard who did this to you is behinds bars , I hope you are ok.

I have never met you, don't know you but as you have said you are a victim I do belive you went throught a terrible crime.

Shouldn't the people claiming Rolf Harris deserve the same respect

What aldiwhoresaid

McNewPants how are you 'supporting' anyone by saying you believe someone when you don't even know what the crime Rolf Harris has been accused of?

In that context - saying 'I believe you' is wrong headed.

That allegations are taken seriously and investigated thoroughly and the person is accorded respect is an absolute right (shamefully one that rape victims don't always get) but to say 'I believe you' to an allegation you know next to nothing about is almost as dangerous as the misogynistic bullshit about women 'crying' rape and 'asking for it.'

I think I'm not devastated because of something that happened about 20 years ago.

I was working with a girl we'd gone out, had too much wine and she told me about her being abused by her father.

About 6 months later I met him. He was an ordinary likeable person. And my emotions were confused, I wanted to hate this man, but found myself liking him.

Since then I have not trusted my judgement to a first meeting.

It was a very different climate back in the 60s and 70s, a lot of low-level abuse was accepted and tolerated, seen as normal. It was one of the things that the Feminist movement had a huge part in changing.

Absolutely, GrannyGoblin.

And what I find most disconcerting is how people on TV seemed to be able to groom an entire audience. How could we have sat round as a family watching that stuff and not thought even for a moment "hang on......"

It makes it so much clearer how priests got away with it.....

.....and all the cheeky uncles and "friends". Droit de monsieur or whatever the french call it. The right some men seem to feel they have to violate women of any age. I mean, they are just there aren't they. So what'st the harm. Somone is going to do it sooner or later...isn't it? Gender as designation to be the recepticle, no matter how loathsome, of male attention.

These men are very clever. It can take some time before you realise, you've been set up/persuaded that everything they are doing is "normal"/ "groomed". In 1979 I lived in London and was in accommodation organised through the school. The wife was lovely. The man was not. He started small with a cuddle when I was happy/upset about something, standing very close to me when I felt sure he was TOO close but not sure I wasn't over reacting. Over a two year period, it went from this to waking me early in the morning when I'd come round and find him with his hands all over me, him sitting on the bed. I started using the lock (someone, years before) had put on the bedroom door) but then was asked by his wife "why?". She was so lovely and oblivious to him and what he was doing. I couldnt take a shower, without him walking in. He made a comment one day that I had small breasts for my age and I said to myself "my DAD definitely wouldn't say something likem that to me!" I confronted him, he came over all offended. I apparently had a very dirty mind. If I didn't want him to take on a "fatherly" role toward me then of course, he wouldn't. He was upset. Being a very late developer myself, I was told by the male partner of the woman who was effectively chaperoning me, that he was doing nothing "your father wouldn't do". Now you see, he had me there, because I'd been at an all-girls boarding school from the age of 10 to 17 and my father was mostly absent, even when I was home, in the holidays.

My sister visited me. She hadn't seen me for months and could see something was very badly wrong. He was quite hostile toward her visiting. I'd dropped down to 6st 10lbs at 17 and there was a bolt on my bedroom door and a pile of stuff I'd have, to wedge in front of it, at night. I plucked up the courage to speak speak out but no one believed me and I can still see him shaking his head at me in front of his wife and sister in law, as if I was some sorry, mixed up, deluded young girl, not in control of my faculties.

I left.

Many years later in a situation where again, I should have spoken out, I kept my mouth shut. I didn't think anyone would believe me. Or blame me for being so stupid. As I blamed myself, really.

In the 60's, 70's and 80's things were different. I think there was a culture of "It's only a bit of fun/why are you being so sensitive?" Etc. but really, it was assault or more.