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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say we are not having any more pets because I just feel such terrible pain when we lose one?

16 replies

MintyyAeroEgg · 17/04/2013 21:40

I am not joking or in any way being flippant, but I have felt so completely wretched on the loss of two of our pets (another two still with us) that I just don't want to put myself through it again.

Is this a commonly-held feeling or aibu and slightly hysterical?

OP posts:
sydlexic · 17/04/2013 21:45

I think Grief is the price you pay for the love you had. Only by never loving can you protect yourself. Natural to feel that way but hopefully it will fade.

AlfalfaMum · 17/04/2013 21:46

It is painful, my mother's beloved dog died recently and we were all in bits. It will be awful when our dog dies, which hopefully. Won't be for a long time yet.
Thing is though, everyone dies.. You could say the same about people, that it's not worth having friends or family because it's too painful when they die. I know pets usually have a shorter life expectancy, but where do you draw the line?

thebody · 17/04/2013 21:47

As sydlexic says, so sorry op for loss of your pets, they are indeed loved.

HumphreyCobbler · 17/04/2013 21:48

Didn't Rudyard Kipling write a poem on the folly of giving your heart to a dog to tear Sad

HumphreyCobbler · 17/04/2013 21:48

sorry you have lost your pets Mintyy.

BastardDog · 17/04/2013 21:49

I felt like that last year when we lost a cat and 2 dogs in 6 months.

Lying snoring next to me now is our new wonderful rescue dog.

The old saying is true that time heals and the joy they bring every day for years has to be balanced with the pain you feel at the end.

What's that saying? 'Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all' or something like that.

Signet2012 · 17/04/2013 21:51

I know exactly what you mean.

I always wanted a dog I got one. He was my best friend. Had to get him PTS in December and it broke my heart.

Pfb was three months old. I put his worsening down to sulking because of arrival of the baby and if wasn't. He was suffering. Making that decision and carrying it out hurt me so much. I don't think I can ever think about getting another dog.

OpheliasWeepingWillow · 17/04/2013 21:53

You are NBU. I am sorry for your losses Sad

But, as someone has said, grief is the price for love. I have has many many pets and have mourned all those who have died. The joy that they have brought me has been immeasurable.

poachedeggs · 17/04/2013 21:57

YANBU Minty. It's a desperately tough thing to lose a pet, made harder still if the decision has to be made to put them to sleep.

Lots of people feel this way. Some of them renege and take on more pets in the future, but others stand by their decision and never have another. There's no right or wrong.

Having said all that, the reason it hurts so much is because it is such a wonderful thing to have a friend. Personally I reckon the wonderfulness and pleasure they bring outweighs that pain.

heronsfly · 17/04/2013 21:59

I can understand where you are coming from, I'm heading towards that way of thinking myself. We lost two cats and two bunnies last year, and i was heartbroken, even thinking now of my lovely cats brings me to tears.Sad
Its always me that finds them, or has to make that dreadful final decision to let them go,always me that has to break the news to the dcs,and try to comfort them. We have a wonderful new addition,a large long haired ginger kitten, he has filled a huge gap in our house,but i'm already filled with the fear that something might happen to him.

Original poster
MintyyAeroEgg · 17/04/2013 22:12

Aww, thank you all

But I feel slightly fraudulent because the losses we have suffered are two guinea pigs in the past two years! I can't imagine what it is like to lose a dog or a horse Sad and I can move myself to tears just thinking about what it will be like when our 13 year old cat shuffles off!

But I am an immense softy who rescues slugs and snails and worms and ants and spiders, so probably not cut out for proper pet keeping Sad.

OP posts:
HazeltheMcWitch · 17/04/2013 22:15

Oh, Mintyy Sad
I will never every have a small animal again - I had rabbits for many many years, but they die too soon (I'm not a bad owner, I mean their lifespan is relatively short). So it's nothing smaller than a cat now for me.

HazeltheMcWitch · 17/04/2013 22:15

never ever

FrancesHouseman · 17/04/2013 22:18

YANBU. We will never have another dog after having our lovely Benny PTS 7 years ago. So sorry for your loss.

dexter73 · 17/04/2013 22:20

I was just as sad when our guinea pig died as I was when our dog and cat died. I can't not get more pets though as I love having them. We currently have a dog, cat and hamster. I agree that the pleasure outweighs the pain.

thebody · 17/04/2013 22:22

There is no hierarchy of 'pet love' hamsters are as loved as horses.

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