To think 48 is too old to father a child?

[ali23]

Is it? There are 10 years between DH and I. We are swaying over a last baby which we'd both love. I miscarried a year ago and since then it's just not happening and the seed was planted that perhaps it was a sign it split wasn't to be. Also, for the first time in the relationship I feel that it might be unfair on a kid to grow up with its dad not at his former sprightly best. We have been blessed already with 3 dc so we are perhaps being a bit greedy!

A lot of people on these threads ignore statistics about aging, health and life expectancy. They pick examples of unfortunate, leas likely cases where people die or experience very poor health in their thirties and compare to Cases where people live a perfectLy healthy Life into their nineties.

The facts are clear however, if you become a parent in you late forties or early fifties you are more likely to experience poor health during you child’s younger years than had you become a parent in your twenties or thirties. You will also not be there for as long.

It doesn’t matter if you know someone who died in their thirties or lived to excellent health until their nineties. Look at the facts and probabilities and make a decision based on the facts.

I am not saying don’t do it, but be honest about the realities and the risks

I say it’s too old but I’ve studied genetics sooooo

Definitely not too old for the majority of people.

I'll be 42 and DH 44 when our 2nd (and last) baby arrives in January. We also have a toddler who turns 3 in December.

Thank you all. I have a lot to think about. I think I actually wish I could get to a point where I am just happy with 2 and get having a third out of my mind. I guess I will see how we both feel in a couple of months.

Personally I think it’s too old. You have three children already. Surely that is enough.

Thanks Suzie. I have 2 children (I am not the OP). I would def agree 3 is enough but I guess it feels different for everyone.

It's a personal decision. It isn't inherently too old in that some people would be fine, but if you're now thinking it's too old for you, that's a totally reasonable take. Fwiw I agree with you: I wouldn't want to be getting pregnant from the sperm of a man that age and nor would I choose to expose my child to the undoubtedly greater risk of losing a parent at a young age.

DH is 47, he'll be 48 when our baby is born. He's 20 years older than me and this will be both our first and only child. He's gonna be an awesome dad and it means he's at a stage where he's going to be working less in a few years as we'll have property and a steady business. So he'll be able to spend more time with our child than if he was thirty and working all day every day. And I'm not particularly worried about the genetics as he got me pregnant two out of three cycles so his swimmers must still be tip top!
His parents are touching 80 and would be in great health if they hadn't smoked and if MIL hadn't gotten obese.

Depends on how they age really but I don't think 48 is bad. My DF was 55 when I came along. His age never impacted anything and he's now in great nick at 85, 86 next week. He looks young and moves well - people refuse to believe he's a pensioner- and other than being rather deaf, there's not much wrong with him.

That said, I am an only and I think he's glad of it now. He also admits he's glad to have had a Dd and a not-sporty one at that as he wouldn't have been up to sports with a boy. Helped raised 3 nephews much older than me too, so didn't miss out on boys.

Any more views on this guys? I am still so undecided. My heart is saying go for it but my head has lots of concerns.

the body rapidly deteriorates for a lot of people after 60 not true - nowadays people look after themselves, and for middle class people 60 is not an age of infirmity. OP - you can't generalise, if you both want it, go for it. You know what it entails. Age does not determine the quality of parenthood.

I think 48 is too old yes.

He’ll be pushing 61 when kid goes to secondary school.

I was embarrassed that my dad was the oldest at the school gates and everyone thought he was my grandad. So it's a no from me, I've accepted it now but was v affected by it as a child.

Ah just realised it's a zombie thread. Why doesn't Mnet disable old threads so you can't post on them?

Personally I think he’s pushing it. To be 58 with an energetic 10 year old seems like grandad territory to me.

Oh no - zombie.

Yes to old. What happens in ten years or so if his health declines? Not really fair on the child.

Not a zombie as I reposted today. Sounds like a no from amost everyone today :-(
Tough as we already have a 2 year year old so on one hand it seems mad to worry about a couple more years; but on other hand,when she was born my OH was nearer to 49 than 50 and somehow in my head, 50 seems too old. I guess for me it doesn't feel like grandad territory as my grandparents were well into 60's when I was born. Can see that in some families where they have had kids young this would seem to be the case though.

I think it depends on the man.

Men who dump their wives repeatedly for a younger woman are not suitable in my opinion, for example.

It’s hard work bringing up kids. Think of what you’ll need to put into them 14, 15, 16 years from now.

I think it depends on your husband's health honestly. Overweight and sedentary? Nope. Active and involved, sure. A friend and her DH (10 years older) had children when he was fifty, and now she is caring for his health problems, two unruly teenagers who realise their dad and mum can't enforce any rules and her own menopause. You couldn't pay me to deal with that.

ZOMBIE THREAD!

Anyway, to answer the resurrector's Q...besides the financial and health/energy in later life considerations, there are also possible increased risks to the mother and baby from older fathers.

"The study found that men 45 and older can experience decreased fertility and put their partners at risk for increased pregnancy complications such as gestational diabetes, preeclampsia and preterm birth. Infants born to older fathers were found to be at higher risk of premature birth, late still birth, low Apgar scores, low birth weight, higher incidence of newborn seizures and birth defects such as congenital heart disease and cleft palate. As they matured, these children were found to have an increased likelihood of childhood cancers, psychiatric and cognitive disorders, and autism. Bachmann attributes most of these outcomes to a natural decline in testosterone that occurs with aging, as well as sperm degradation and poorer semen quality, but she said that some correlations need more research."
www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/05/190513081409.htm

So just because we can doesn't mean we should.

Hi. Just of of interest did you ever have a baby in the end?
As I'm in the same situation.
Thank you 💗