To think 48 is too old to father a child?

[ali23]

Is it? There are 10 years between DH and I. We are swaying over a last baby which we'd both love. I miscarried a year ago and since then it's just not happening and the seed was planted that perhaps it was a sign it split wasn't to be. Also, for the first time in the relationship I feel that it might be unfair on a kid to grow up with its dad not at his former sprightly best. We have been blessed already with 3 dc so we are perhaps being a bit greedy!

It really depends on the man. DH was 44 when DC3 was born, and one of our neighbours was a bit older when their DC3 was born. Both (touch wood) are fit, healthy and active.

DH was 45 when DD1 was born and 46 when DD2 arrived. There's an 18 year gap between us so on the money front I (possibly naively) think at least I will be earning when the DDs are at college/uni.

DH is great with the girls and I wouldn't change it for worlds. However, his own parents were older (only 35 and 40 though) when he was born and he always says it felt like they were ancient .

My dad had me at 50, he's a fantastic father.

The only time it greatly upset me was when I had friends over (aged 15/16) and my dad came into the room to ask if anyone wanted a drink.

When he left, one of my friends turned to me and said - so how olds your dad then?

I don't know why that upset me so much. Age has never bothered me. It hurt that she seemed so negative about it.

Hi, I know this is a really old thread but just wondered whether the OP went for it in the end? Also those of you with partners that became dads in late 40's, how are things working out for you a few years down the line? There are 10 years between me and my partner and we are also debating whether to have another.

My father had me at 55, he always said we kept him young. Oh and my much younger mother actually died decades before he did sadly. My husband and I are parents to toddlers in our forties. Tiredness is tiredness - I had my eldest years ago and was knackered then as well as now. Just do what is right for you, loving parenting can be done at any age.

Not remotely too old, and increasingly not even that unusual. I know several men who fathered children in their mid 40s and they are great dads.

If you both want to try for another, go for it.

Based on my own very personal views he is at (or even slightly over) the upper limit.

As a pp has said he will likely be 50 when a baby is born, and in his sixties when the child starts secondary school. Seventies for university.

Statistically speaking, he will experience poorer health during these years, and he won’t be in the child’s life for as long as parents who have children in their twenties and thirties (Baring he small number of tragic cases which people always bring up as justification to have children at any age).

These are all the realities of becoming a parent at an older age.

Weight it up, don’t go into it blindly.

Good luck.

Considering you already have 3 I think too old. My amazing mum died at age 50 so that obviously colours my view.

Not too old OP

🧟‍♀️ thread everyone....

My dad was 52, 55, 58 & 60 when my younger siblings were born. It kept him young for years and years. Even when he died at 89 he wasn’t like an old man in his personality and outlook

A 48 year old married to a 38 year old who have been together for many years with three children already is a world away from a 48 year old who has children by several different women and is thinking about one with say a 28 year old.

So I'd have no issue with the OP having another child.

Not too old for the first child. Too old for further children. Sorry, it’s just my opinion.
If I had no children, I wouldn’t even think about the age because it’s be the only chance to have the (only) child.
But since 2 having children... the reality of life has hit me hard and I realise that it’s an enormous responsibility to raise a human and the age almost always means decline in health, ability to earn and to cope. I’m mid 30s and my husband is early 40s, and even though I’m broody sometimes, I feel like I can’t deal with uncertainty and fear of being unable to provide for one more child or to cope with early years one more time (my both children are now at primary).

Everyone’s health situation is different. People are having kids later and later.
I am 52 with an 11 and 13 year old.

I’m not even in menopause yet, and whilst I realise I’ll be 60 odd when my youngest hits 20 (the age I convince myself they’ll be independent and I don’t need to worry about them anymore and in my 70s if they ever produce grandkids.

I’m relatively ok health wise thankfully, although I have bradycardia so my heart will just stop in my sleep one day, but ....meh....you only live once.

I think it's too old - children deserve a parent that can keep up with them, do fun activities with them

3 is enough isn't it?

Thanks all. Sorry to confuse as I am not the OP, just spotted the thread when doing my own research. I am nearly 37 but partner is 47 and we already have a 5 and 2 year old. I have just always fancied having 3 and feel like I'm not quite done as I love being a mum. He has always wanted 2 but after me bringing it up he seems like he is swaying slightly. However, unlike a couple of years ago I feel in my head he is now just that bit too old (would be 48 when baby born if we conceived now). My heart is saying if he agrees I should go for it or might regret it, my head says I should be grateful for my 2 beautiful kids and can't help thinking 20/ 30 years ahead and thinking I am being selfish.

There are pros and cons. My DH was that age when our youngest was born. She's 14 now. He has more time to spend with her as he eases into semi-retirement. We are better off financially. He might not be as fit as when he was younger, but she is more interested in building bird boxes with him than playing football anyway.

The big downside of course is that she will be younger when he dies. Even if that happens in her adulthood, surely it is better to have your dad in your life until you are 35 than 25. And there is a family history of early-onset dementia, and that too would have been better for her to face when she's older.

On balance for us it is working out well. Other families might have different situations and priorities.

Ha hahahahahha.

Lucky nobody told my dad this or I wouldn’t exist.

It really depends on health. MN is full of ppl who are apparently exhausted in their 30s and 40s but if you are of normal health (and, I suspect, normal weight), it’s really not an issue.

After many, many years of fertility problems and treatments DH was 47 when I finally got pregnant at 39 and 49 when we had our second. He has been, and continues to be, the most brilliant dad to our two boys.

He has always been, and stillis, fit, healthy and active. He has not once in 20yrs ever told them he was too tired to do anything they wanted. They are perfectly capable of enjoying each other's worlds and now they are 19 and 22 they still do lots together and have a fantastic relationship.

You can't know how someone is going to age really. I know dads much younger who have more health problems and less interest in their children than dh.

Sorry, all of that just to say no, I don't think 48 is too old.

As the daughter of a father who was 49 when I was born, yes it's too old.

40 would be my cut-off (had ds when DH was 39).

(and my father died at 93, he could have easily died at 73)

My dad was 43 when my youngest brother was born. They are best friends and get on great. My Dad is 70 now but still in great health. I couldn’t imagine our family without the youngest.

I also can’t stand the whole mentality around ‘it wasn’t meant to be’ - so this means if a drug addict had a baby and abused it and it was taken into care then that was ‘meant to be’ otherwise it never would’ve happened. Nothing is meant to be or not meant to be so please do not let that nonsense inform an important decision for your family.

Dh's dad was 49. Had been mildly disabled since his teens so wouldn't have been up for the football even if he'd had his children in his twenties but he was a great dad. Died when dh was in his forties.