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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

totally giving up trying to brush my 2-year old DD's teeth?

93 replies

quesadilla · 13/04/2013 20:10

(sorry, I know this is stretching the definition of an AIBU but I posted in parenting and got one very unhelpful reply). Two year old has developed a recent phobia about tooth-brushing. For nearly three weeks I literally haven't been able to get a toothbrush in her mouth (she screams blue murder and clamps her mouth shut) and I'm getting quite worried about decay. (Yeah I know they will all fall out later but I don't want her to have decayed teeth at seven). The only poster who has responded to this so far just said I have to force her to do it but I can't actually get her to open her mouth so that wasn't particularly helpful. She hasn't responded to various alternatives including me brushing my teeth in front of her, various bits of bribery etc. Any suggestions? Am at my wits' end....

OP posts:
racmun · 14/04/2013 23:13

My ds was a nightmare I was part of the pin them down and brush club

I use an electric toothbrush and when I tried about a year ago with it he was terrified. He's now 2.8 and about 4 weeks ago he took an interest in the electric toothbrush. He used it with my head on it once as he was so keen and he loved it.

It's oral B and they do special Mickey Mouse brush heads which are part of the stages range. He loves it and like to take control, because it electric it does the work and you just need to help them guide it round all parts of their mouth. His teeth definitely look cleaner now.

ReallyTired · 14/04/2013 23:33

I used to be in the non forcing camp about tooth cleaning. My son ended up with tooth decay. We had fillings that fell out and my son ended up with a tooth abcess and one of his baby teeth being extracted. Trust me watching your child having a tooth extracted is far more tramatic than forcing them to clean their teeth. A two year old has no understanding of tooth decay. Children are forced to have their vacinations and teeth cleaning is as important.

Having said that, I think that forcing really should be a last restort. If my daughter refuses to let me clean her teeth then she is sent to bed without any bed time stories. If she is exceptionally well behaved about teeth cleaning and hair washing then she gets an extra bed time story. However she is four years old so can understand punishments better than a two year old.

We have arguements becuase dd wants to everything by herself. Children need to have good fine motor control before they can take responsiblity for tooth cleaning. Once a child has the fine motor control to write reasonable then they probably have the fine motor control to clean their teeth.

BlackeyedSusan · 15/04/2013 00:14

tickle her ears?
let her chew on one toothbrush while you use another?
brush her nose, ears, head, first... stick the brush in quick when they laugh
use a piece of muslin with toothpaaste on it to rub the teeth.
sit astride them clamping their arms aand legs under you then tickle them to clean their teeth [mean mummy emotion]

Booboostoo · 15/04/2013 07:55

hayjane and exoticfruits I am sorry these ideas did not work for you, I imagine not everything works for everyone.

If you are still looking for other options, I would take the shaping back to the earliest behaviour the child tolerates, e.g. if she won't put the toothbrush in her mouth, then reward for carrying the toothbrush, if not just for touching it, if not just for looking at it and increase the value of the reward.

For what it's worth operant conditioning is not bribery and does not work this way. You do not say "here is a reward if you do what I say I will give it to you", you get the behaviour you can, you mark it and you reward it. Behaviours that are rewarded are likely to be reproduced so you then take advantage of that.

exoticfruits · 15/04/2013 08:13

I never had a problem Booboostoo, it was just routine from the start- it was quite clear it wasn't an option. I never had to force anything or fuss around with special brushes etc. we did occasionally have some songs for fun.
If you can't just have it as routine I would try all the suggestions on here- but if they don't work you still need to do it.

Quenelle · 15/04/2013 08:19

I resorted to headlock on the occasions nothing else worked. DH hated the idea but when I told him he could be the one to force DS into the dentists chair when he had to have an extraction he saw my point of view.

DS isn't traumatized. He happily has them brushed now. And loves having check ups at the dentist. Long may that last. I was utterly terrified as a child after enduring seven fillings.

CSIJanner · 15/04/2013 08:20

Some people are sensitive to the taste of mint - it makes their much burn. Try a different toothpaste and try some of purple's suggestions: singing, making faces and noises like animals (growl like a tiger, yawn like a lion), letting them brush your teeth etc.

My eldest did this and I totally expect my second to so the same as all my neices and nephews refused to brush. Just think of its as a tiny hurdle to get over, but you do need to persist in brushing.

Panzee · 15/04/2013 08:36

The brush brush brush song on YouTube linked to earlier works for us too. As well as doing it on a toy first, and watching t he Tombiliboos do it. Now he asks to brush them, something I never thought would happen.

EmilySwee · 17/09/2017 11:49

Hi im at my wits end with trying to get my daughter to brush her teeth. She is nearly 2 and used to love me doing it but now she clamps her mouth shut and is a nightmare. I have tried everything and do not know what to do about it. I dont want her losing her teeth 😫

Whinesalot · 17/09/2017 11:55

You getting stressed will also make her more stressed.

Approach it with a smile. Be jolly and say "we all have to do some things we don't like" Tinkly laugh - then hold her in a death grip, wait until she opens her mouth. Put the brush in for a short wiggle around then build up over time.

Treat it matter of factly. calmly and something that just has to be done. Don't let her see you are stressed about the situation.

MollysMummy2010 · 21/09/2017 18:27

Talking ginger app on the iPhone is a godsend. Brush phobic daughter brushes til timer finishes and is then allowed to play the game for five minutes.

Shiftymake · 21/09/2017 18:50

Electric toothbrush! And berry toothpaste :-)

Treaclepie19 · 21/09/2017 20:03

Try the Elmo teeth brushing song on YouTube.
We tried everything and this is what finally worked. I was sceptical but just give it a go!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 21/09/2017 20:06

In this house it was clean your teeth properly or get wrapped in a towel after bath time and get it done for you - amazing how well you can brush when they're screaming blue murder Wink

It's a phase, it'll pass but not brushing isn't an option imo.

LittleRedWagon1 · 21/09/2017 20:06

With DD2, I used to let her brush my teeth while I did her's. Might work if you make it a 'job' to help mummy or daddy brush their teeth.

Issummeroveryet · 21/09/2017 20:08

My DD is 2 and we have 2 toothbrushes, she does mine with one while I do hers with the other. It seems to work well as she concentrates so hard on what she's doing she kind of forgets what's going on

BillBrysonsBeard · 21/09/2017 20:13

I had to force for 6 months and then one day he just let me and had no problems since.

Dawnedlightly · 21/09/2017 20:22

Take her to choose her own toothbrush and paste, but if all else fails just force it!

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