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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

totally giving up trying to brush my 2-year old DD's teeth?

93 replies

quesadilla · 13/04/2013 20:10

(sorry, I know this is stretching the definition of an AIBU but I posted in parenting and got one very unhelpful reply). Two year old has developed a recent phobia about tooth-brushing. For nearly three weeks I literally haven't been able to get a toothbrush in her mouth (she screams blue murder and clamps her mouth shut) and I'm getting quite worried about decay. (Yeah I know they will all fall out later but I don't want her to have decayed teeth at seven). The only poster who has responded to this so far just said I have to force her to do it but I can't actually get her to open her mouth so that wasn't particularly helpful. She hasn't responded to various alternatives including me brushing my teeth in front of her, various bits of bribery etc. Any suggestions? Am at my wits' end....

OP posts:

hazeyjane · 13/04/2013 20:48

Another vote for wrapping them in a big towel, and doing it. Ds (2.9) can't do his own teeth, and doesn't understand consequences of not brushing, and with problems already starting because of reflux, I'm afraid it just has to be a bit of a battle.

Sokmonsta · 14/04/2013 07:41

Both my dc have done this at exactly the same age so I'm wondering if this is a phase most children go through.

Anyway, I'm another one for whom teeth brushing is non-negotiable.

On really bad days I'd sit dc on my lap, towel tucked round their neck for mess, arm clamped under my left arm and holding their left hand with mine. Then a quick brush while they were screaming. Cuddles afterwards and telling them they don't want their teeth to turn all nasty and black.

Not so bad days would involve me singing various children's songs - often bob the builder - and brushing their teeth while I did that.

Getting them to brush and then finishing off yourself is another good idea.

If you have an iPhone, there's an aquafresh app called time to brush. It has a song to brush to and you earn points to spend on accessories to dress the toothpaste blob, a bit like mr potato head. That one really saved my sanity with dd as she only got to dress it after she had brushed her teeth twice a day.

sebastianthesingingaubergine · 14/04/2013 07:51

We are singers here. My two year old always says "No!" when I tell her we need to brush her teeth. However we sing "The teeth on the brush go swish swish swish" to the tune of the wheels on the bus, and swish so many times that she usually has quite a decent length of time brushing. She also likes to do it herself, so at the end she gets the brush to chew on.

I'm liking the lets go fly a kite version....Might try that one this morning. Variety is the spice of life!

exoticfruits · 14/04/2013 08:10

I think it is far too important to leave. If they won't respond to special brush etc I would force it. Leave them clear that it was part of the daily routine and was going to happen whether they liked it or not. Imagine explaining rotten teeth to them later on with 'well you were 2yrs old and you didn't like it' - I would think 'who was the adult here'
It isn't very nice but it will just become routine, if you persist.
It is a bit like getting pills down my cat- I used to wrap him in a towel force his mouth open and drop them in! A 2yr old is a bit like a cat- no amount of logic, common sense or cunning is going to make them do it!

exoticfruits · 14/04/2013 08:12

I would try cunning and bribery first- force is the last resort.

Theicingontop · 14/04/2013 08:14

is the only thing that gets it done with my 2.5 year old. He LOVES it, and opens his mouth ready as I'm putting the video on.

"Happy teef!"

Doubtfuldaphne · 14/04/2013 08:20

My dd has this too and I felt awful that I was having to pin her down to brush!
I've found a few things work
I still have to put her in a bit of a hold by putting her in my lap, legs tucked in to my lap, arms under my free hand.
Pink toothpaste and electric toothbrush. We count to ten as she likes counting now.. And keep counting to ten Until its finished!
Another tactic is using a hand puppet to hold the brush so it's not you doing it. This worked for a while. Keep the puppet talking to her until it's done then they can play!
There are also tooth brushing apps if you have an iPhone or similar. They play tunes with a timer while the character brushes its teeth.

twofingerstoGideon · 14/04/2013 08:20

Headlock and force the toothbrush in, if they cry even better cos then the mouth is open
Jesus wept.

dawntigga · 14/04/2013 08:23

change the toothpaste - The Cub hated mint and if you sing Happy Birthday to you from beginning to end it takes about 10 seconds, I use this to time teeth brushing. You can change the words to talk about the next day etc.

TheCubStillHasHisMomentsTiggaxx

sashh · 14/04/2013 08:23

Try using just water.

I had battles with my parents about brushing teeth, finally a dentist asked me why and I told him the toothpaste made my gums sting.

He said to just use water, it's the brushing that gets them clean, the paste just makes them cosmetically whiter.

I'm still fussy about toothpaste but I can actually use it now.

KatyTheCleaningLady · 14/04/2013 08:47

I'm glad I'm not the only forcer. I felt like such a shit mum for doing it that I gave up... Which also makes me feel like a shit mum.

I will resume forcing and not feel too shitty about it.

DoingTheSwanThing · 14/04/2013 09:06

Yup, don't feel bad about it. You'd feel far worse if she had decay.
Fwiw at this age I was pinning my DS down for teeth and inhaler. Head between legs with my legs over arms worked well. Also singing while brushing so fast the brush is almost vibrating, complete with sound effects was more agreeable to him. It didn't take long for him to realise resistance was futile.
He's now 4.5 and I'm pleased to report it hasn't put him off for life, he's content to have them cleaned in the normal manner (and will remind us if we forget!).

FacebookWanker · 14/04/2013 09:38

www.nhs.uk/conditions/fluoride/Pages/Introduction.aspx

I would speak to a dentist before giving flouride tablets to under 7s
I used to work with someone who ad discoloured teeth from taking flouride tablets as a child.

FacebookWanker · 14/04/2013 09:38

had

rumbelina · 14/04/2013 09:43

Try a kids disposable electric toothbrush. Worked a treat for us.

99problems · 14/04/2013 09:49

Not much advice but just wanted to say I only brushed ds' teeth once a day until he was 3 because it literally took 2 of us to pin him down and do it - was awful. Anyway he needed a filling aged 4, I felt awful!!!

After that we got much stricter and after about 2 months he got used to it, hang in there and keep going it will get easier!

RiceBurner · 14/04/2013 10:02

I had the same trouble forcing down malaria tablets (from birth) as well as tooth brushing 3 under 4. You just had to force things until they understand it is going to happen (and will be rough if they resist) so it's better to cooperate. Couldnt let them skip the tablets and risk malaria. Same with their teeth. Saw a 2 yr old with a mouth full of filed down teeth cos the parents didnt brush her teeth and let her have a bottle of milk to do to sleep. (Awful.) Hopefully, the rough stage will pass (once they know you will not give up) and then all will be easy/happy. Consistency is important. It's upsetting to have to force things, but you know you are doing it for the right reasons. They will thank you for it ... one day!

HeadFairy · 14/04/2013 10:15

My dd refused to do her teeth for nearly a year. I had to resort to force which was traumatic for both of us. Eventually I invented the sugar moster who eats childrens teeth so they have nothing to leave the tooth fairy (the Peppa Pig episode with the tooth fairy helped) and it changed things over night. Not sure what the psychologists would say but scaring your kids seems to work

Apileofballyhoo · 14/04/2013 11:42

My DS hates mint toothpaste, as does my mother - burns the tongue. Some people are just sensitive. Much less trouble brushing DS's teeth with fruity toothpaste. If you have fillings show them and explain what happens if teeth aren't brushed! This was a major argument in tooth brushing favour with us.

thelittlestkiwi · 14/04/2013 11:59

My daughter has polar bears in her mouth that we need to feed with the toothpaste. Sometimes they wave at me. Sometimes they cry. (Got the tip off of here. Thanks whoever it was!).

Wishwehadgoneabroad · 14/04/2013 12:03

I was this child.

I would put money on it it's the mint taste she hates.

I still hate it now and whilst I can manage to clean my own now I literally gag if I see someone else doing theirs.

I have a baby DD. I'm dreading having to clean her teeth - ridiculous I know. So I shall be buying strawberry, orange, fruity flavoured toothpaste for her.

Ditch the mint!!!!!!!!!

Wishwehadgoneabroad · 14/04/2013 12:06

And to those forcers

DO NOT DO IT. I think I literally would have wanted to kill you if you had tried to force me!!!!

Luckily, my mum twigged it was the mint early on, and got me strawberry.

But it's actually making me wince thinking of being forced even now. It really does turn my stomach. Poor kids :(

MrsMorton · 14/04/2013 12:13

sash the toothpaste is important because of the fluoride in it. This topical application of fluoride will help to strengthen the teeth ad can arrest early decay. Water is better than nothing but fluoride is important.

hazeyjane · 14/04/2013 12:35

Wish, my dd1 has acid reflux, she is 7 and she has to have oral surgery to have 2 teeth removed next week. She has weak enamel on her teeth and this in combination with the reflux has led to cavities. For about a year, i thought she was brushing her teeth well enough, but i was wrong. I feel awful about this, believe me.

Ds has sn, he has severe acid reflux, and as he has poor oro motor skills, food tends to hang around in his mouth without him realising. The flavour of toothpaste, type of brush and all the games in the world won't make any difference to him, he needs his teeth brushed as well as I can 3 times a day. I wrap him up in a large towel, and cuddle him, and brush his teeth as well as I can.

Honestly, if I can avoid dd1 having to have any more oral surgery, or ds having to have any in the future, then I will do what i can to ensure their teeth are well brushed.

Please don't feel sorry for my 'poor kids'.

MrsRogerSterling · 14/04/2013 12:37

It's not the mint taste for my 19 month old dd, she will happily squeeze toothpaste into her mouth to eat if left to her own devices. I have had to start wrapping her in a towel and giving them a quick scrub, she cries, I feel crap but it needs to be done.

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