To use the disabled toilet

[99problems]

I have recently developed IBS, and whilst I am working on figuring out what 'sets me off', I have recently been in a couple of situations when out and about and needed 'to go' .

So WIBU to use a disabled toilet when available? Does it depend on the circumstance, for eg today, there was a large queue for the ladies, so I did use the disabled toilet. I felt like a fraud and like people were probably watching thinking I was just trying to jump the queue. Have also been tempted to use one to avoid the sheer humiliation of 'going' and being heard.

Most of the time, the disabled toilet is locked anyway. I'm terrified about being in a situation where the disabled is locked/there's a massive queue. Arrrg I'm sure other IBS sufferers will feel my pain, this is all new to me.

YANBU. I have IBS & a couple of years ago I barely got to a loo in time, desperately painful. Got there & passed a massive amount of blood. Had a 'camera' appointment at the hospital which thankfully showed there was nothing sinister, but it was really painful & 3 years & 1 baby later I still have very little sensation in there (sorry TMI) aside from the pain. Consequently I can only tell I need the loo about 5 minutes before it gets desperate & extremely painful. I have a radar key & have been grateful for it many times. Anyone who thinks YABU is entitled to their opinion but should be grateful they don't have to struggle with this horrible condition which a lot of people just laugh at.

Some common food triggers are:
Mushrooms, blackberries (specifically the seeds), wheat, gluten, rich, fatty or spicy food, caffeine, sweetcorn, too much or not enough fibre, insoluble fibre ( from bran, beans, lentils etc). Msg, soybeans, yeast. Dairy.
Too much sugar in the diet as this can cause the wrong bacteria in the gut to overtake the good ones.

My dh has ulcerative colitis which is even worse. He's found cutting out red meat, swapping cows milk for soya milk and eating natural foods rather than processed ones with additives has helped a lot. I ought to let him know he could get a key for the disabled loo as sounds like he's be eligible, I lose count of the number of times the gents cubicles have been outof action...

I think that Gosuck raised a very relevant point about the got to go cards, and the snotty response this poster got was totally out of order.

I work in retail, I have worked at the same shop, in the middle of nowhere, for 4 years and I have never heard of these cards.

We do not have a customer toilet and company policy is that no public are allowed to use the staff toilets because of health and safety/ insurance issues and because they are through the staffroom where our personal belongings are kept as well as some high value stock.

We do choose to allow desperate children to use them, or adults who have a medical condition causing urgent need, but that's just because we are nice people. If ever there was an incident, such as an injury or theft, then we would be sacked for allowing it.

If these cards really do mean shops are obligated to allow staff toilet usage then the card producers should be communicating this to businesses properly. If they are just a request for courtesy then people should not be claiming they MUST be allowed to use the facilities, as staff really could lose their jobs for allowing unauthorised access.

Definitely get a key, so amazing for places like train stations when it's really urgent and there are sooo many barriers in between you and that loo seat (queues, the right change, working turnstiles, people dawdling, suitcases - argh! Makes me desperate even just thinking about it!

I'm disabled btw, I think it may help you to know us disabled people aren't hogging the toilets from other people who have desperate need... Please feel free to use them :)

I agree that GoSuck got an unnecessarily harsh response - if retailers and the like haven't heard of the card, then that's not their fault, and I would be concerned that it might appear to be a scam unless there is some kind of vetting procedure used when issuing them. Perhaps if it was more widely publicised then it would be a more effective tool.

Btw the cant wait cards are help in getting to a loo, not a legal waiver of some kind. It's up to the store to decide of they can give you access or not. My friend has one but I don't, as I think it would be utterly humiliating to plead for a loo and wave this card around and get rejected loudly and rudely by someone who doesn't care and won't even read the card properly!

I do find if it's a hideous emergency asking for the manager helps as they are less likely to say no as they're worried about their jobs, and they are usually quite helpful, even if it's just to stop talking & wasting their time!

Here's a quote from the charity's website:

'Can't Wait' card, helping you get access to a toilet in an emergency'

I suffer from ibs. Cutting out food doesnt help for me. Say chocolate was a trigger one day i can eat a bar and be fine, the next time i eat the same type and i get an attack or episode. I control mine through tablets.

Mebeverine helps for the stomach spasms but wont stop u going to the toilet.

I know quite a few ibs sufferers and everyone of us is affected differently. Some can lead a normal life without anyone knowing while others are practically housebound.

OP i would use the disabled toilet and if your ibs is really bad i would look at getting a key.

I think that GoSuck got an unfair response too.

I am an Ulcerative Colitis sufferer and a Manager of a high street retailer who has never heard of this card in 16 years of working there.

Unfortunately, my company are not insured to have customers use the staff toilets so no access would be allowed card or not.

Luckily we have a pub next door where customers can gladly use the facilities so it has never been a problem and I've never had to take pity on someone and risk my job.

I will get one of the radar keys after reading this thread.

Instead of bashing retailers we should be campaigning for better public facilities on the high street.

YANBU, your need sounds genuine and urgent.

Of course you're not. And you will get looks from people - I still get them, and I'm either on sticks or in a wheelchair!

I have had a few 'near misses', it's horrible. Do anything to make your life easier.

You can order a RADAR key online, they only charge you for postage, and it arrives within the space of a few days. It's a huge key, makes you feel like you should be opening the gate to a city, not a toilet

Get a radar key, you need one.

YANBU, I don't have IBS but had similar symptoms and although I use the accessible toilets for physical disability there were times when TMI ALERT well I was glad the sink was in the same room.

www.radar-shop.org.uk/Detail.aspx?id=0

I had really bad IBS many years back now. A long term trip abroad completely cured it and I have never had it back since. Basically the trip involved a forced complete change in diet, almost exactly the same food each day which was spicy but was completely different to my home diet. Between the change in food and the relative absence of stress my body recovered completely. I'm guessing that abandoning your family to go and 'find yourself' is probably out of the question but looking to make changes to you diet and stress levels might help. YANBU since you asked.

I have had looks when coming out of the toilet but tbh it really doesn't matter you don't know these people they don't matter the fact thta you need too use the toilet should be enough for you ,

Worth getting more tests done, my friends Mum had IBS, diagnosed for over 10 years, got to the point where she could really eat lunch out apart from dry bread in case of an accident. Ironically (given bread seemed to help) she has now been diagnosed with coeliacs. There was no weight loss which I understand is one of the common symptoms of coeliacs!

I have 'IBS' and some other disabilities, I also have a RADAR key. You really should get one and just ignore any comments or looks when going to use the toilet.

I would push for investigations though, I've had a dx of IBS for nearly 10 years but am now being sent to gastro as am losing weight and have mucous (TMI sorry).

I didn't have any tests when I was dx either, it was just a "well your symptoms fit so..."

Hope you feel better soon, it's horrible.

with regards to you feeling like people are thinking your skipping the que. not all disbilitys are visible and if anyone does think that they need to open there eyes. you do you! and if you cant wait to go to the toilet than dont. you have ibs and that means you have a disibility needed to use the tolet x

YANBU. Disabled toilets are not just for wheelchair users.

ZOMBIE THREAD

Have you seen a gastroenterologist? I had 'IBS' in my early 20s which was later diagnosed as ulcerative colitis. I took Pentasa (anti-inflammatory) for 5 years and rarely have symptoms now.

If I'm out and feel an attack coming on, I take 1-2 loperamide tablets and 60mg codeine (prescription) and I'm usually fine within half an hour without needing to find a loo. The codeine stops the spasms and pain so you relax (I tried every IBS antispasmodic out there and they made no difference!) I also have a radar key just in case.

ThisZOMBIE thread is 4 years old. I hope the Op's IBS has improved.

I am not disabled in any way, I have however used disabled toilets in the past. Mostly when I had a pram and a toddler on my own and was unwilling to leave them outside in a busy cramped ladies loos.

I would never cut in line, but if the disabled toilets were available and unlocked I would use them.

Additionally they do quite often have baby changing facilities, so to my mind, they are there in general for people who would struggle to use a individual cubicle. Obviously you still need to observe basic courtesy.