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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use the disabled toilet

72 replies

99problems · 13/04/2013 17:07

I have recently developed IBS, and whilst I am working on figuring out what 'sets me off', I have recently been in a couple of situations when out and about and needed 'to go' Blush.

So WIBU to use a disabled toilet when available? Does it depend on the circumstance, for eg today, there was a large queue for the ladies, so I did use the disabled toilet. I felt like a fraud and like people were probably watching thinking I was just trying to jump the queue. Have also been tempted to use one to avoid the sheer humiliation of 'going' and being heard.

Most of the time, the disabled toilet is locked anyway. I'm terrified about being in a situation where the disabled is locked/there's a massive queue. Arrrg I'm sure other IBS sufferers will feel my pain, this is all new to me.

OP posts:
GoSuckEggs · 13/04/2013 18:24

I didnt mean for that to come across as mean. I meant that we have strict rules regarding cash handling and only certain people are able to enter our office, so because i have not heard of this card it would be of no effect.

Dominodonkey · 13/04/2013 18:26

gosuckeggs I guess you would find yourself clearing up an adult size pile of faeces then....

Dominodonkey · 13/04/2013 18:27

So maybe the scheme organisers should be more proactive in letting businesses know about the scheme.

GoSuckEggs · 13/04/2013 18:27

well no i wouldnt because i am not a cleaner. Hmm

MrsDeVere · 13/04/2013 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EeyoreIsh · 13/04/2013 18:29

Having ibs is horrible, you have my full sympathies OP. I had it terribly in my early twenties, and very occasionally I'll get an attack now. If you need to go, to need to go.

Original poster
99problems · 13/04/2013 18:35

I have heard women in early 20s are most effected, I am 23 so seriously hoping it settles down over the years. Luckily I'm not a coffee drinker and have cut out chocolate. What a miserable life us IBS sufferers have!

OP posts:
HotCrossPun · 13/04/2013 18:38

Dominodonkey I worked in retail for years and have never heard of that card either. A few of the places I worked in there were no customer toilets, but sometimes if there was a child who was desperate for the loo we were allowed to take them.

The card sounds like a really good idea, my Auntie has terrible IBS. I'll let her know about it.

GoSuckEggs · 13/04/2013 18:38

I guess you would find yourself clearing up an adult size pile of faeces then....

i am sure you are perfectly capable of cleaning up your own shit, if not then wear a nappy.

ballstoit · 13/04/2013 18:45

OP, has gp eliminated every other possible cause? I was told I had IBS for years, was eventually diagnosed with overactive thyroid.

Original poster
99problems · 13/04/2013 18:50

GP just took a 'stool sample', which came back normal. He said based on that, my symptoms (alternating between constipation and the opposite) and the fact he knows I'm a 'stressy' person, he said IBS. Would a blood test show up thyroid issues?

OP posts:
Dawndonna · 13/04/2013 18:58

My dd is a wheelchair user. I also have a key for me because I have IBS and Colitis. People are usually quite understanding.

huddlelikepenguins · 13/04/2013 18:59

I don't think YABU at all but some other people might if they are unaware of your condition. I was feeling dreadful one day while in a public library and had to urgently use the disabled loo, I was in there for quite a while and came out to see a fuming dad and crying baby. The dad shouted after me "you aren't even disabled!" and so what was I supposed to reply to that?! Showing a card would have been an awesome thing to do!

EeyoreIsh · 13/04/2013 19:04

99, I had a shit few years with it, losing too much relationship. I got out of a shit relationship, and worked out what triggered it (wheat primarily) and did more exercise, and that helped no end. I also swear by mint tea each evening.

I hope yours improves soon

Kaida · 13/04/2013 19:06

Definitely YANBU. IBS meets all the criteria for being a disability for many people.
BTW, mints work as peppermint is a natural anti-spasmodic. Good quality peppermint tea or some OTC tablets called Colpermin work similarly but better.
The biggest beneficial effect on mine has been hypnotherapy though. I have a 100 day course and am only about two thirds of the way through and am noticing a big difference.

ballstoit · 13/04/2013 20:41

Yes, blood test is only definite test. Had also been very stressy for years...which is much improved since thyroid has been sorted too although I am still somewhere on the 'highly strung' scale

MrsDeVere · 13/04/2013 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Zingy123 · 13/04/2013 21:21

I have crohn's and have used diabled toilets. Our council let's you buy the keys for £2.50. Make sure it is IBS you have. I was given peppermint capsules but it was making me worse not better.

auldspinster · 13/04/2013 22:11

I get bouts of it as a side effect of my Diabetes meds, yadnbu, you have my sympathies!

OpheliasWeepingWillow · 13/04/2013 22:16

(Have you tried Buscopan - can get over the counter and it transformed my IBS but you need to take regularly)

IBS can be a horrible, sweat inducing, panic filled disorder than only proximity to a working loo can ease. YANBU.

NorksAreMessy · 13/04/2013 22:25

YANBU
My friend with crohns has a RADAR key, and she says the main advantage to her is theat it mentally gives her 'permission' to use disabled loos.

I think this is very sad. She has a miserable condition that clearly needs allowances, she is holding down a full time job and part time tutoring and still feels that she is not entitled to a little consideration.

KarenHL · 13/04/2013 22:28

Thing is, it can be so hard to even get a dx. I was seen by a gastro-enterologist who then referred me on to a dietician. The dietician was fab, and if I follow a strictly low-fibre diet (some IBS sufferers find the opposite helps), my symptoms are greatly minimised. Having said that, I do have the occasional episode where nothing I do helps.

DH was dx by a past GP. Several GPs later, he has only ever had a couple of blood tests. Given his symptoms I am not totally convinced he has IBS (after a meal, his digestion seems to go into overdrive and he is sometimes, literally, semi-conscious). If stressed, his intestines spasm and he HAS to go to the loo. It's not unusual for him to go through a whole pack of immodium in an hour (following the directions on the packet). The only thing GPs consistently ask him is whether he has blood in his poo - but he is colourblind with brown/red so can't tell. They've never asked to test/see a stool sample and he's never been referred to a consultant. All they ever do is say his symptoms = IBS and prescribe immodium. They don't see the awful affect it has on his life and our family life. I regularly have to clean/bin soiled clothing, we regularly miss planned events because he is passed out on the sofa and I cannot rouse him. I know he can't help it (so I don't get cross), but I do worry as for most people this is not normal. I want him to see someone privately so it can actually be investigated properly, but don't see us ever being able to afford it. No GP he has seen will refer him on - they just say it's 'only' IBS and to live with it.

Original poster
99problems · 13/04/2013 22:43

I've been prescribed 'mebeverine'? Started taking it yesterday morning, but yesterday evening I suffered more than I have in weeks. Not sure how long it takes to get in system, or if it's just not working. Been horrendous today too.

I suffer with anxiety, although haven't had a bout of that until now. My IBS is beginning to trigger it, constantly running through scenarios in my head of not being able to get to a toilet. I start a new job in a few weeks and am worried about people noticing I'm always on the loo, or worse still, hearing me on the loo.

I've pulled chunks out of my hair and drawn blood by digging my nails in to my skin when the stomach cramps are at their worst, I can't believe how IBS is seen as a fairly mild condition. It's starting to control me!

I have downloaded a hypnosis DVD, and will definitely try mint. I don't like mint tea though, are there capsules or regular strong mints I can take?

OP posts:
mrsjay · 13/04/2013 22:45

use the toilet if you need you need I have bowel problems not IBS but associated with my disability and while i use ordinary toilets I do use them when I am in need, I do think they should be accsesable ( god spelling) toilets and not just disabled, try and see if you can get a key though

OhYouBadBadKitten · 13/04/2013 22:48

Amitriptyline helped massively with mine years ago, but mine was only the have to go instantly variety.