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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To a) let seven year old have own email but b) be in charge of the password

18 replies

Molehillmountain · 11/04/2013 16:34

Bit new to me-she wants to email friends which, in principle sounds okay but at the start I want to keep a bit of an eye on it. Yikes! Feel as if we're entering new territory. What rules would you have for dd if it were you?

OP posts:
Poledra · 11/04/2013 16:37

My two older DDs (9 and 7) recently got their own email addresses (mainly because we wanted them to have their own accounts on the tablet). They know I look at who they're emailing, and that I could look at what they're writing (though I don't usually bother - I'm not that bored!).

Basically, once or twice a week I rummage through their emails, what they've been looking at on the web (though they are only allowed to use the web when DH or I is with them) and generally snoop. And they know that. And they know if I find anything on there that shouldn't be there, we'll delete their account...

Jammybean · 11/04/2013 16:39

I would let her use a family email account where you have access and can vet its usage. But I'm struggling to see why a 7 yr would want one tbh.

Remotecontrolduck · 11/04/2013 16:41

Yeah I see nothing wrong with it, just go through the basics with her, only email people you know in real life, don't sign up to anything without telling you first etc

As long as you have access to the password and check it semi-regularly, it should be fine!

BeerTricksPotter · 11/04/2013 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MammaTJ · 11/04/2013 16:42

Own email, maybe, in charge of own password, not a chance! She wouldn't even know it if she was my DD.

I have a 7 year old DD and also an 18 year old. The 7 year old has not got her own email, it hasn't even been suggested, although she would quite like skype and FB. I may do the skype for her, just so she can pester chat to her big sister, but she will not have FB for, oooo, let me think, 5 1/2 years, because that will be when she is 13.

Poledra · 11/04/2013 16:44

Jammybean, one of the reasons we decided to let the DDs have their own was to write to their grandmas (who both live >300 miles away) and their friends - a family we're friendly with are moving away, and this way the girls can keep in touch with their little mates, and hopefully make the split a bit less painful for all of them (though it'll probably fizzle out after a while).

Itsjustafleshwound · 11/04/2013 16:45

My daughter (8) has her own e-mail account and uses it to chat to her older cousins and granny. I monitor it and have the attitude that instead of a flat 'no' she has one but I control it and limit her access to the 'puter and other devices.

MrsBazinga · 11/04/2013 16:46

I set up my son an email address as a sub account on mine, so his mail comes into my a/c, but his own inbox, which I have daily access to. He uses it to email grandparents, friends and his dad. He knows how to attach photos and do links etc which is all good. He's not getting his own private email until he's at least 30 Wink

SamuelWestsMistress · 11/04/2013 17:36

My eldest boy has his own email address. He got an iPad for Christmas and now has his own email address and iTunes account. I even put £15 of his saved pocket money on it as a voucher about a month ago and he still has £10 left (doesn't like spending it...like his dad!)

He's pretty responsible really and only emails some aunts, my mum and some friends of mine.

(I did have to pull him up on use of google not to long ago. It's the only thing I don't like him to have free use of (I've taken safari off it) but some of the apps are a pain in the arse because they can still get to it and the settings are always default, never safe. Anyway he'd been looking up zombies via a weather app and freaked himself out. I gave him a proper bollocking and now he has some k9 safe search.)

olibeansmummy · 11/04/2013 17:37

Ds is nearly 4 and has his own e-mail address. Mind you he couldn't e-mail anyone without my help as he wouldn't be able to type in the address! He doesn't access it without me either. He uses it to e-mail his grandparents who live abroad. I like it because he's learning to spell phonetically and it's easier than having to think how to write the letters and it gives a purpose to his typing. I'm not one of those people who make up Facebook accounts for their 3 year olds though.

Original poster
Molehillmountain · 11/04/2013 17:44

I remember wanting a diary at about this age. I think it's a bit about wanting to be grown up. I wrote my limited activities in said diary (paddington bear iirc) for about a week until the novelty wore off. I expect dd will probably do emailing on a similar basis.

OP posts:
Fairylea · 11/04/2013 17:49

Dd aged 9 (nearly 10) has her own tablet and email but I know the password and do snoop regularly once she is in bed (she is only allowed to use it in the living room, not in her bed).

All her friends have tablets and their own emails so I didn't feel I was being fair otherwise as she would feel excluded... they all talk on Skype too !

BackforGood · 11/04/2013 17:50

Mine had them from about 6 - as someone said ^^ it was as a sub account on mine so I would see anything coming in and could monitor anything going out. She used it to write to her great aunt (substitute Grandma) who lived a long way away.
Occasionally I@d send her some pictures of cute and furry animals.

Bambalam · 11/04/2013 17:55

The aspect I would be worried about is spam mail. Not a week goes by when I don't receive a 'Make it grow longer/little blue pill'-type email, though to be fair they are mostly about payday loans and bingo now.

I don't know how these companies get your email address but it's probably from online shopping and newsletters, which of course your DD won't be doing. Just be sure to check and empty that folder!

cricketballs · 11/04/2013 18:54

Does she have a school email account? My LA provides email (with all the filtering) to everyone as soon as they enter the system, she could use that (they are very heavily monitored

alarkaspree · 11/04/2013 19:04

My dcs recently got their own email accounts, like others I have set them up to come to a separate inbox on my mail account so I monitor what they are receiving. We live abroad so I think it's a good way of promoting their independent relationships with their grandparents and aunts and uncles as they get older.

One of dd's friends has an email account through zoobuh, which is specifically aimed at kids and you can set it up to send the parent a copy of everything they send and receive. I think that would be a good option if the child had their own ipod or tablet that they were using for email.

OutragedFromLeeds · 11/04/2013 19:34

YANBU, it's fine as long as you're monitoring it.

I think a lot of people have got a bit too excited about the evils of the internet. There is probably more risk of her having an email when she's 13+ than now tbh.

CognitiveOverload · 11/04/2013 19:36

You can create different aliases for an email address. So it can be under his name but you receive them into your account.

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