To think that it is easy, yes very easy to say "THANK YOU"

[AnonymousBird]

We have had a lot of people over recently - friends of ours for dinner, friends of DC, family etc. for meals, for stayovers. All sorts. Apart from two couples who came for dinner on the same night, NO ONE but no one has even bothered to text or drop an email or phone to say "thanks".

Isn't it just standard behaviour to do this a couple of days after you've been looked after/entertained? I even looked after nephew and niece over night and have not heard a dicky bird. Mind you, DNephew (who is 8) has never ever done a thank you for a birthday or Christmas present! DNiece only just learning to write so I'll give her a bit more leeway!

Isn't it a common courtesy, hey? I don't expect a great grovelling letter of thanks. Just a short text will do...

So, AIBU?!

Did they not say thanks as they were leaving?

Well, kind of I suppose, but I would have thought that for a visit which has involved meals, sleeping over etc etc, that a text or email a day or two later saying it wouldn't exactly be a lot of effort!

Or is Thanks at the front door acceptable these days? I don't think it is.

As long as they've said thank you before they left, i don't see a problem.

as for your nephew, has he never said thanks for a gift, or is it just the lack of thank-you note that's getting to you?

I think that if you give a heartfelt and genuine "thank you, I've had a really lovely time" etc etc at the door as they leave, then that would be enough. I'd accept that, and that's what I do.

I suppose that sometimes I email a couple of days later just to say thanks again if I've had a really excellent time and am still thinking about it.

But I would consider a thank you to be just that.

Thank you letters/phone calls/emails for presents is a bit different though.

It depends on what sort of 'Thanks' you get at the front door. If I am I voted to someone's house, I bring an appropriate gift, and I would make sure my hosts knew how much I appreciated their hospitality - ie. I'd thank them for the invitation when i arrived, I'd compliment the food, and I would offer proper thanks at the end of the visit too. If I was staying for more than a night, I would offer to take my hosts out for a meal.

That is all, to my mind, very different to a perfunctory 'Thanks' at the end of the visit - so if it was the latter sort of thanks, YANBU, OP, but if it was more like the former, then maybe YABU. So that's me firmly on the fence.

If I said thank you as I left someone elses house I wouldn't feel the need to say it again two days later. I've never heard of anyone else doing this.

OK, so a suitable thanks was said at the door, in most instances I suspect - I just think if you've stayed the night, eaten 3 meals, drunk their wine etc etc etc that a slightly more "official" thanks after the event would be the norm????

Maybe it's just me - I can't be alone! Ah well. I'll try to worry less about it then!

I would say thankyou at the door and that would suffice, thats what i would expect in return too

I agree with the say thanks at the door crowd. This is what my friends and family all do- flowers/wine(mostly)/other suitable gift on arrival with lots of hugs and thanks when leaving. We also try to wash up and generally offer help when at other peoples houses.

I feel that you invite people because YOU want to see them and take pleasure in their company. A lingering, 'this was so great, can't wait for the next drunken time' type thanks is more personal than a quick text for me.