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AIBU?

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Original poster

She smacked my daughter... WWYD??

744 replies

Clumsyoaf · 08/04/2013 12:53

In shock, just come home from a soft play place, went with some other mums that I have just started getting to know. DD (4 years old) being unruly - we are going through a phase at the moment, one of the other mums just picked her up and smacked her on her bottom. I was completely stunned - I would never hit a child my own or someone elses... DD in tears i just gathered up DS's stuff took DD and left.

I want to pick her up on it, or call the police or something..... sorry dont have anyone in RL i cant speak to right now so sorry for ranty message im just still stunned!

WWYD?????

OP posts:
stressyBessy22 · 09/04/2013 13:08

no but it justifies her being referred to as a brat.please read first!!

MNHQ
KateSMumsnet · 09/04/2013 13:08

Hello all,

Just a quick note to remind you of our talk guidelines, with particular emphasis on the bit about troll hunting

Tortington · 09/04/2013 13:11

pmsl @ kate

Stepissue · 09/04/2013 13:17

MN looks a bit stupid with all this troll hunting Sad

Gruffalump · 09/04/2013 13:32

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redwallday · 09/04/2013 13:35

I would have leapt on her from a great height!! How dare she lay a finger on your child. I would call her, tell her how very angry you are and how out of line she was and then call the police. Noone touches my children in a violent manner not even me!!

stressyBessy22 · 09/04/2013 13:49

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Sugarice · 09/04/2013 13:55

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LtEveDallas · 09/04/2013 14:11

Landofsoapandglory: Not a problem, please do Smile

Original poster
Clumsyoaf · 09/04/2013 14:21

Wow, a "brat" I guess you guys must have angelic children who behave impecabbly 24 hours a day.

I said my daughter can be unruly and occasionally tantrums. I also said she never hits and plays nicely....

blimey.

OP posts:
Original poster
Clumsyoaf · 09/04/2013 14:23

For the record, I dont think the other mums thought my daughter was being anything other than a normal 4 year old. We have children in the group who are far more vicious and excitabale then my daughter! At the same time I can see objectively when she is being naughty hence my request for advice. Nobody wants to be "that" mum with the uncontrollable child.

OP posts:
MummaBubba123 · 09/04/2013 14:24

Stay well clear. Consider calling her - if I had the balls to, I would. Tell her that you found her behaviour unacceptable and so not want to discuss your daughter's. tell her you're calling to ask her to apologise to your daughter as being hit by / hitting another adult or child is something that is unacceptable.

shewhowines · 09/04/2013 14:28

As said previously - totally unacceptable but..

Don't let your Dd develop the attitude that she can't be disciplined by others. We see so many kids in school now, with no respect for authority and won't accept being disciplined by their teachers.

Not saying your DD will be like this but she needs to get the message that she should not have been hit - however the woman was in the right to be annoyed at her as her behaviour was not acceptable.

lljkk · 09/04/2013 14:36

I think I'm the one who introduced the word Brat.
I use it liberally on MN to refer to my own DC if I think they deserve it. Not perfect kids at all.
I didn't get impression brattish is how OP's child behaved.
BUT if OP has escalated this to the point where the woman gets cautioned, then she might sell her story to the Tabloids, and what I wrote is probably how they would spin it.
One of many reasons why I wouldn't have rung police over it.

LovePickles · 09/04/2013 15:00

I wouldn't fear media backlash and let it stop me from making sure an unstable woman was made to thing twice about raising her hand to a child.

LangenFlugelHappleHoff · 09/04/2013 15:06

Sorry if this has been said already...all other things aside I want the woman to apologise (or grovel) to clumsys DD and set the example that hitting is wrong. Full stop wrong.

Original poster
Clumsyoaf · 09/04/2013 15:06

however the woman was in the right to be annoyed at her as her behaviour was not acceptable.

I think when you take your children to a soft play you do expect some bad behaviour at the age of 4! I think the behaviour of a grown woman who smacked my child was unacceptable. I could kick myself for not making a scene and asking her what she thought she was doing. It wasnt like she had been continually telling dd to stop or asking her to behave. Prior to that it was me that went over the first time the two kids started acting up and I have no idea who started it or who was in the wrong. I pulled dd away to the ball pit to stop her pulling at the car as i caouldnt watch her and DS at the same time.

OP posts:
Original poster
Clumsyoaf · 09/04/2013 15:08

She has sent a few messages today asking about tomorrow which I have ignored. I have had texts from some of the other mums and I have just said that we wont be joining them tomorrow but hope they will be free for a play date at our home on Friday.

OP posts:
shewhowines · 09/04/2013 15:29

Of course bad behaviour is common and I realise that you were in control of the situation but don't let DD think that she was blameless and was totally in the right because of all that has happened since.

She still needs to know that her behaviour was not great. You had told her to leave it and she went back as soon as your back was turned. Yes she needs to know the woman was wrong to hit her but she still needs to get the message that she must behave too.

BinarySolo · 09/04/2013 15:38

It wasnt like she had been continually telling dd to stop or asking her to behave

If you were in the toilet, how do you know she hadn't asked her to stop? You weren't in control of you daughter as you turned round to see she had gone back to the car.

The woman had no right to hit your daughter so was out of order.

Still not sure if I believe this really happened. Find the speed of the bruise developing and the fact that certain details were missing from the op such as dd wetting herself.

SatsukiKusukabe · 09/04/2013 15:41

hopefully, I'd have been mature enough to call the police. but I'd probably smacked her face to start with tbh Blush

Original poster
Clumsyoaf · 09/04/2013 15:45

I was gone for 4-6 minutes at the very most. We had only been there 15 minutes!

OP posts:
Original poster
Clumsyoaf · 09/04/2013 15:46

I certainly ensure dd knows when she has done wrong. I cant abide naughty children and I ensure she is aware of what she has done wrong when she does it.

OP posts:
SatsukiKusukabe · 09/04/2013 15:47

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hobnobsaremyfavourite · 09/04/2013 16:05

oh and stressybessy claims that 3 year olds can make their own sandwiches and that adult supervision is unecessary and other pearls of parenting wisdom.