To get pissed off at children running around in restaurants?

[CelticPixie]

We went out for lunch today and there was a large group sat behind us. It was obviously a family celebration with parents, grandparents, kids etc. A little boy from the group who must have been around two was running around our part of the restaurant screaming and shouting and getting under the feet of waiting staff carrying hot food etc. He also kept approaching people at other tables and kept asking them if they were having their dinner and what they were having. At no point did his parents do anything to stop him and they just kept on smiling at him, but it was obvious that he was getting on everyone else's nerves.

Its a family friendly place and there were lots of other small children in there but he was the only one running about and being a nuisance. I will NOT allow my DDs to run about and disrupt others people's meals and it pisses me off that other people have so little consideration for anyone but themselves. If mine wants to go to the loo one of us takes them, if they are bored we take them out to the play area. It's really not hard is it?

What are the numbers on children in this country who have extra needs?

If any of your posts are aimed at me, Fanjo, I didn't glare at the child, nor did I make any remarks. I know toddlers are toddlers, and that they do things like that, however the thing that made me a little annoyed was the fact that the parents thought it was cute and said that their child was sharing my child's meal. If it was my child walking over to another person's table they would have been told immediately to come back and if not I'd have gone and fetched them myself long before it got to the stage of taking chips from a random child's plate!

Also, how is one supposed to instantly know if a child does have special needs? I would expect the parents of a child with special needs to try to teach it right from wrong as I would expect the parents of a non special needs child to teach it right from wrong. I would be annoyed at any parent acting in the way that 'chip child's' parents did, regardless of any issues the child may have.

I am in no way saying posters here are intolerant of children with SN.

I am saying they seem intolerant of any "bad behaviour" in cafes.

Which adds a lot of pressure if you have a child prone to noisy or difficult behaviour.

People with kids with SN will know what I mean. It is daunting to go to a cafe and threads like this add to the pressure.

IYSWIM

I think fanjo makes a valid point, it can be very easy to judge but actually we need to step back. fanjo is defensive and given life with a child with sn's I can see why. Some of my friends who have children with sn's have a life I couldn't begin to imagine. The bigotry and judgements they face and the fight to get help and support on a daily basis. Its an awful way to have to live.

I have seen it on mnet, there have been some threads with awful views expressed :(

LaQueen.

It is purely intolerance of other peoples children and clearly judging. My dc have always behaved themselves, but I do not sit in judgement of other parents as many including yourself have done on this thread.

"It is about NT children, whose parents casually allow them to run amok in restaurants...only rousing themselves to justify their ineptitude by calling other annoyed diners too uptight, or chid haters, or killjoys".

I'd call that pretty judgemental.

My posts were mainly aimed at poster who said "lets go and glare at kids in cafes " earlier

I guess I was hoping if any of you have a habit of tutting and glaring you might think twice next time.

Wasn't even being defensive really..but thanks 5mad

LaQueen.

Sorry, must have read the wrong poster. I don't judge, or try not to as lifes to short.

I'm not intolerant of noise from children, my DS has AS and I'm well used to stares myself.
I just can't abide young children being allowed to roam unfettered around restaurants or cafes serving hot food or drinks.

Dd doesnt roam unfettered..if she makes a break for it DH or I are right behind her manhandling her away from the mischief she is getting into. Literally

As a regular and loyal Mumsnetter I DO NOT judge other peoples DC and I DO NOT throw dirty looks or comments of DC's who are disrupting me when I am in a non kid restaurant or cafe. It is often impossible to diagnose SN from a brief meeting in a restaurant and even if I knew the DC was not SN I do not know what the family circumstances are.

However, I actively seek out child UNfriendly cafes and restaurants and I avoid places where the kids seem to have free reign.

I do not like having little kids run around me when I am out at a cafe or restaurant. I also wouldn't like really obnoxious people or drunks etc

It is my choice.

'we should go out for lunch together and cast death stares at all the parents of wandering cuties, screamers, table bangers etc.'

I agree, Fanjo. The post above jumped out at me because, ds does scream, and bangs (usually his head on the floor), it happens in a second. We have had tuts and 'death stares' and people laughing. I think if you look at my profile at photos of my ds, you would see a cute blonde boy, not a child with sn, (well apart from the one with his walker!) So to the people who are saying, 'well of course we aren't talking about children with sn' - how do you know?

Well clearly Fanjo my comments are therefore not directed at you.

DontSHOUTT that is a completely reasonable viewpoint.

anyone who doesn't judge is totally ideal in my opinion. :)

sauvignon..I knew that, you are clearly a reasonable and understanding poster :) As are most people. My post is not aimed at any of you who don't sit and tut and judge

hazey...yes, it was an awful post.

hazyjane's post elicited the same thoughts from me, my DS is a headbanger at times.

He swears too and looks very NT.
(thanks Fanjo)

Fab picshazeyjane gorgeous children, love the camping one in his grobag!

YANBU

When I first joined Mumsnet I started an AIBU about pretty much the same thing, in my case kids coming up to our table and making noise and waking my precious first born baby up. I was absolutely flamed and told to wait until I had a 2/ 4 year old.

Well I do have a four year old and an almost 2 year old and I wouldn't tolerate them bothering other people. They are mostly well behaved in restaurants providing we entertain them and don't keep them hanging around too long.

Even if someone has a child that is not well behaved and doesn't enjoy being in a restaurant I would at least expect to see them trying to keep their child away from other people if they were running riot or to leave - even in a family friendly place. Most lazy parents see family restaurants as a place to let their kids behave how they like just so they get a bit of peace and selfishly forget other people would like a nice peaceful meal too - or as peaceful as humanly possible.

I think it's the 'trying' bit that is important, SN or not. It's those parents who do nothing but grin adoringly as their precious bundle tears about, squealing whilst people are eating and waiting staff are carrying hot food that's the issue.

Waves @5Mad