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Original poster

To get pissed off at children running around in restaurants?

999 replies

CelticPixie · 07/04/2013 20:29

We went out for lunch today and there was a large group sat behind us. It was obviously a family celebration with parents, grandparents, kids etc. A little boy from the group who must have been around two was running around our part of the restaurant screaming and shouting and getting under the feet of waiting staff carrying hot food etc. He also kept approaching people at other tables and kept asking them if they were having their dinner and what they were having. At no point did his parents do anything to stop him and they just kept on smiling at him, but it was obvious that he was getting on everyone else's nerves.

Its a family friendly place and there were lots of other small children in there but he was the only one running about and being a nuisance. I will NOT allow my DDs to run about and disrupt others people's meals and it pisses me off that other people have so little consideration for anyone but themselves. If mine wants to go to the loo one of us takes them, if they are bored we take them out to the play area. It's really not hard is it?

OP posts:
Chockyeggpants · 09/04/2013 16:24

Loving the not punishing!!
Punishing in our house means time out, or no TV, or no looking at Nemos reef on iPad, or being grounded.
I would really love to know how parents deal with bad behaviour from under 10 year olds. Does everyone else just say a weedy " no darling don't do that" which we know every child listens to and obeys. Not.
No wonder this country is going to the dogs

Owllady · 09/04/2013 16:25

I don't know any restaurants where dogs are allowed to sit on a chair and eat off a plate

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 16:27

Am loving the suggestions that if we don't expect unruly behaviour in restaurants, we are uptight child-hating killjoys!
Because, everyone knows, an obnoxious child is a happy child... Hmm

morethanpotatoprints · 09/04/2013 16:27

Flogging.

Do children not learn by example. I'm sure if I or dh had omitted to teach our children some vital social lesson, they would at some time learn it throughout their childhood. Not that I suggest bella or anybody else has missed a vital lesson.

I think there are a lot of assumptions about Bella here, unless I mistaken she hasn't said half the things that are being assumed of her.

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 16:28

owllady, that's sort of my point. It is not acceptable.

usualsuspect · 09/04/2013 16:29

I think Bella has had an unfair flaming TBH.

Being a 'strict' parent doesn't necessarily make you a better parent.

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 16:30

And no, children do not learn only by example. Shock Are there really people who think this?

morethanpotatoprints · 09/04/2013 16:30

Chocky

My dc are fine, well educated, socially accepted, but were never ruled and punished.
I didn't have badly behaved kids under 10.
Some lessons were harder for one or another to understand but hopefully they aren't punished at school for not understanding.

YouTheCat · 09/04/2013 16:31

If children learn by example then my dd would be a lecherous, drunk smoker.....

Oh shit Grin

Sirzy · 09/04/2013 16:32

Well if some people on their way and children were allowed to roam restaurants and pester diners their would be a lot more child free places as more places would ban children.

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 16:33

Being a 'strict' parent doesn't necessarily make you a better parent.

I haven't said whether or not I think Bella is a good parent.
I have said that, based on this thread, I don't think Bella is a particularly good citizen.

And I think there is a pretty clear consensus on this board that restaurants call for a minimally acceptable standard of behaviour...we aren't even remotely in the realm of "strict" parenting, just basic supervision and manners.

Strict. pah!

anklebitersmum · 09/04/2013 16:34

I don't understand how I am a grumpus for insisting that my children employ basic table manners while out in a social situation?

I don't huff and tut at others. I am too busy keeping eyes on my tribe and attempting to enjoy a very rare evening out with my family.

morethanpotatoprints · 09/04/2013 16:35

Usual

Oh, I totally agree with that. I have been both, but without punishment as I don't agree with it.
I did expect high standards from ds 1 and 2, but now I'm not so expecting of dd. She is no worse in terms of behaviour than the other two.
She is far more confident and able to communicate well with all ages, in fact these skills are outstanding.

usualsuspect · 09/04/2013 16:36

All I see on these threads is lots of 'well my children would never behave like that' because I'm such a wonderful parent.

It's a part of MN that I hate. TBH.

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 16:36

I'm sure if I or dh had omitted to teach our children some vital social lesson, they would at some time learn it throughout their childhood.

Yep. That's why there are no unequipped, unpleasant, or generally messed-up adults. Because you know, if you don't teach your kids, they'll just pick it up somewhere. By example.

Sirzy · 09/04/2013 16:38

All I see on these threads is lots of 'well my children would never behave like that' because I'm such a wonderful parent.

I see "my child wouldn't behave like that because I am teaching them acceptable behaviour for the situation"

NOBODY has said its easy, nobody has said their child is perfect and never acts up but if children aren't taught how to behave in social situations how will they learn?

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 16:39

All I see on these threads is lots of 'well my children would never behave like that' because I'm such a wonderful parent.

Bull. There are plenty of people here saying "my kid has behaved like that." They just aren't pretending that it is OK, or expecting other people not to mind.

But it is of course easier to say "oh, you are just being smug' than to take advice from anyone who says 'hey, here's how I handle that, and what do you know, it works".

morethanpotatoprints · 09/04/2013 16:39

brd.

I never said they only learn by example, and you are an authority? Grin

My dc have certainly learned by example from me and dh, the behaviour that is typical to you, will also be typical to your dc. Otherwise you are saying do as I say, not as I do. Surely this is confusing for dc and not good parenting.

YouTheCat · 09/04/2013 16:41

Usual, there are rather a lot of people on this thread who have said it has taken a hell of a lot of time and effort to get their kids to behave well in restaurants. I've read the whole thread and don't see much smugness tbh.

crashdoll · 09/04/2013 16:41

No one has said they're so fucking fantastic usual. Lots of people don't like children behaving in that way in restaurants. Everyone has different priorities but when it affects others and you don't make any effort to do anything to stop it, that's when people get annoyed.

anklebitersmum · 09/04/2013 16:42

ditto Sirzy and brdgrl re "all I see.."

usualsuspect · 09/04/2013 16:43

My children are all grown up, and TBH I'm glad MN wasn't around when my not so perfectly behaved children were little.

I'm sure I would have been labeled a lazy fucker, when one of them dared to walk about or chat to a stranger.

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 16:44

I never said they only learn by example, and you are an authority?

Only in the tiniest sense, in that I work in education. But I will happily point you to some "authoritative" sources about children's intellectual and moral development, if you like?

GoLadyEdith · 09/04/2013 16:46

LaQueen we should go out for lunch together and cast death stares at all the parents of wandering cuties, screamers, table bangers etc.

GoLadyEdith · 09/04/2013 16:47

Oh and we have 4 dcs who know how to behave. At one stage we had 3 under 5 and yes it's hard relentless work teaching them to be considerate of others in public spaces. But it's worth it.

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