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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To get pissed off at children running around in restaurants?

999 replies

CelticPixie · 07/04/2013 20:29

We went out for lunch today and there was a large group sat behind us. It was obviously a family celebration with parents, grandparents, kids etc. A little boy from the group who must have been around two was running around our part of the restaurant screaming and shouting and getting under the feet of waiting staff carrying hot food etc. He also kept approaching people at other tables and kept asking them if they were having their dinner and what they were having. At no point did his parents do anything to stop him and they just kept on smiling at him, but it was obvious that he was getting on everyone else's nerves.

Its a family friendly place and there were lots of other small children in there but he was the only one running about and being a nuisance. I will NOT allow my DDs to run about and disrupt others people's meals and it pisses me off that other people have so little consideration for anyone but themselves. If mine wants to go to the loo one of us takes them, if they are bored we take them out to the play area. It's really not hard is it?

OP posts:
brdgrl · 09/04/2013 15:56

Life is supposed to be fun. But for everyone, not just me and my DD.

We have fun. And she's not perfectly behaved. But when her (or the teens') behaviour is unacceptable, I know it is, I say it is, and I try to do something about it.

Not smug, but sure, I take pride in raising kids that are nice for others to be around.

SatsukiKusukabe · 09/04/2013 15:56

yanbu

usualsuspect · 09/04/2013 15:57

Well some of you accusing other parents of being lazy fuckers etc, don't sound very nice to be around.

Chockyeggpants · 09/04/2013 15:57

Owllady, I'm so sorry people are so ignorant, that's appalling.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 15:57

Chockyeggpants but if I have told them they can choose then ffs why not... seriously

morethanpotatoprints · 09/04/2013 15:58

Chockyeggpants.

Yeh thats right, bring them up with punishment, not teaching. Your poor dd she's probably so well behaved out of fear. Grin

What happens when she is older and her values aren't the same as yours, you'll have a hell of a rebellious teenager, if she's not too afraid to rebel.

exoticfruits · 09/04/2013 15:59

But were not talking about running and shouting in a restaurant, just wandering a little bit and chatting

Adults do not wander and chat to strangers in restaurants and get in the way of staff-they would be asked to leave. Children should be copying proper restaurant behaviour. A smile and hello or goodbye on the way out would be fine, everyone would be happy to respond.

insanityscratching · 09/04/2013 15:59

owllady I found the schedules and the exaggerated Makaton were a really good way of alerting people to ds's special needs and they were far more understanding then. Now he's eighteen and wonderfully well behaved people point and stare far more because he stims even though he isn't loud or disruptive. I find that more upsetting because it's obvious he has a disability now rather than him being misjudged as a badly behaved toddler as he probably was in the past.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 16:01

But children aren't adults so of course they'll behave differently

Owllady · 09/04/2013 16:02

People don't cope very well with ticks and stims do they?

MsBella · 09/04/2013 16:03

Don't get me wrong ill call him back if he gets too far but I just can't say 'dont talk to people, they don't want to hear you' or something I mean that's a terrible thing to teach surely?

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 16:03

Why would you tell your kids they can choose anything they want in the first place???

Obviously, you are going to limit a kid's choices to things you can afford, to things that are geographically possible, and - presumably - to things that are safe. You would not, for example, let your kid choose a champagne brunch on the deck of the Queen Mary - right?

No, that's ridiculous - so what is the point in letting your child make another inappropriate choice? You'd simply say "sorry, pet, I don't think you are old enough for X restaurant" and suggest some appropriate alternatives. Or "sorry, pet, you know I don't believe in babysitters, so you'll need to choose someplace where the babies can go, too" and suggest appropriate alternatives.

And bottom line, at risk of repeating myself...because it is not all about your child, it is about the other people in the place...

SauvignonBlanche · 09/04/2013 16:04

But were not talking about running and shouting in a restaurant, just wandering a little bit and chatting
running and shouting would be safer though, at least the poor staff would stand a chance of seeing the brats darlings.

anklebitersmum · 09/04/2013 16:05

You don't need to tell him anything if he's sat at the table eating his meal Hmm

insanityscratching · 09/04/2013 16:05

People don't cope very well with ticks and stims do they?

No and of course the more points and stares he attracts the more exaggerated the stims Sad

Chockyeggpants · 09/04/2013 16:06

Having travelled affair bit in Europe I can honestly say I have never seen children running round, behaving badly etc in restaurants.
I wonder if British parenting values are different? And worse?

crashdoll · 09/04/2013 16:06

I can't believe that some people are saying if you don't let your child wander around restaurants, that makes you a killjoy. Ridiculous! Letting your child wander around when waiters are carrying hot food is dangerous for your child. If a waiter tripped and dropped something hot on your child, would you blame the waiter or yourself?

usualsuspect · 09/04/2013 16:06

I work in a cafe, have done for years. I've not tripped over a child yet.

exoticfruits · 09/04/2013 16:06

Don't get me wrong ill call him back if he gets too far but I just can't say 'dont talk to people, they don't want to hear you' or something I mean that's a terrible thing to teach surely?

You don't put it like that. You say 'people are having a quite meal/drink chat -you mustn't interrupt-come and talk to mummy about...../read this book with mummy/play..... with mummy'etc.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 16:06

Also I've had a fair few people talk to me in restaurants

LaQueen · 09/04/2013 16:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floggingmolly · 09/04/2013 16:07

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exoticfruits · 09/04/2013 16:07

I talk to people in restaurants but I don't get up and go and start a conversation when they are in the middle of eating/with a friend etc and just hover.

Owllady · 09/04/2013 16:08

We were in pizza express last week and my son sang a song to a lady on the next table Blush and she seemed to really enjoy it

But there was also a boy sitting under the table behind us humming and no-one took any notice. He was about 12/13, he looked completely normal but I imagine he had some kind of SN

I have also had other peoples children come and sit with us whilst out, I have talked to them, it doesn't bother me in the slightest Confused I am not sure why it would? I understand problems with running around by hot food/drink, but talking to people isn't actually an awful thing to do. I think being confrontational is much worse

Owllady · 09/04/2013 16:10

insanity, why do people not know? :( The anxiety is awful, it's not that difficult to get is it?