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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get pissed off at children running around in restaurants?

999 replies

CelticPixie · 07/04/2013 20:29

We went out for lunch today and there was a large group sat behind us. It was obviously a family celebration with parents, grandparents, kids etc. A little boy from the group who must have been around two was running around our part of the restaurant screaming and shouting and getting under the feet of waiting staff carrying hot food etc. He also kept approaching people at other tables and kept asking them if they were having their dinner and what they were having. At no point did his parents do anything to stop him and they just kept on smiling at him, but it was obvious that he was getting on everyone else's nerves.

Its a family friendly place and there were lots of other small children in there but he was the only one running about and being a nuisance. I will NOT allow my DDs to run about and disrupt others people's meals and it pisses me off that other people have so little consideration for anyone but themselves. If mine wants to go to the loo one of us takes them, if they are bored we take them out to the play area. It's really not hard is it?

OP posts:

MintyyAeroEgg · 09/04/2013 15:43

I think Bella might just be looking for proof for her assertion (made on at least one other thread) that Mumsnet is full of narsty vipers .

YouTheCat · 09/04/2013 15:43

Fair enough but I still think letting children roam in a restaurant is an accident waiting to happen.

You can control your kids (to a degree) but you can't control all the other variables.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 15:44

Minty, no I'm just being honest and I'm not the only 1 who let's her kids explore, its not rare that I see it

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 15:44

I don't think people are being smug. At all. Aghast and horrified, maybe, but not smug.

As for the general public being terribly intolerant of children - I certainly don't see it where I live. People are usually very forgiving and very open, especially when they can see that a bad situation is being dealt with. I've never had a particularly negative reaction from anyone when DD has acted up - and no, I'm not saying that smugly, I'm saying that other people can actually be quite kind and reasonable even when a kid is being a bit annoying... and if one is having many experiences of nasty looks, snide comments, silent glances, or even too many polite "that's perfectly oks", it might be that something is wrong on their end, not with the other diners and patrons.

TomArchersSausage · 09/04/2013 15:44

They turned out fine and ruined a fair few meals for others along the way I shouldn't wonder. Still as long as they were enjoying themselves...

usualsuspect · 09/04/2013 15:44

I can't get het up about this and I'm honest enough to know and admit mine were not always perfectly behaved.

LaQueen · 09/04/2013 15:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

morethanpotatoprints · 09/04/2013 15:46

Usual.

Yes, totally agree. It's good to see how these dc of smug perfect parents turn out.
They are the future POs, friendless and socially inept having never been allowed to be anything less than the perfect "little me" of the parents. FFs there are so many anal parents on here.

rhondajean · 09/04/2013 15:46

Bella I think me and DH may have been sat next to you at lunch one day.

We have yet to return to that restaurant and that was over two years ago.

Just in case that family went back too yknow...

usualsuspect · 09/04/2013 15:46

I don't get annoyed about other peoples kids either TBH.

HazleNutt · 09/04/2013 15:46

How do you know they turned out fine? You also think that your toddler is behaving just fine, even though most other people disagree. Maybe the same applies to your older children.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 15:46

Tomarcherssausage if someone is so petty that a child asking what they're eating and saying hello ruins their whole meal then id say that's their own problem to be honest.

We need to be tolerant, were not all the same

anklebitersmum · 09/04/2013 15:47

It took years of hard parenting to earn this smug. Battling tantrums, returning children to the table, letting my meals go cold while I helped them to use their knife and fork properly, showing them how to keep food on the plate. Never mind the repeating again and again for child after child "Nicely please, don't chew with your mouth open".

I wear my smug with pride.

MsBella · 09/04/2013 15:47

Hazlenutt they're my dcs, of course I know they turned out fine...

Owllady · 09/04/2013 15:47

I have worked really hard with all my children but I still have one with challenging behaviour and I refuse to be made a prisoner in my own home because of it. I cannot see how children will ever learn to be better behaved/more socially acceptable if they are not exposed to situations in order to teach them how to behave.

I understand the letting the child run around the restaurant thing is a bit different, but some children need more support in general to learn what is and isn't acceptable and the only way they can learn those skills is to be exposed to them. I have to use schedules and timers when out in order to keep my dd focused on the task so to speak and you really wouldn't believe the tuts and stares I get, which quite frankly is ignorant and bizarre.

Also, life is supposed to be fun! :)

Chockyeggpants · 09/04/2013 15:49

I'm smug about my DDs good behaviour too. Because like most decent parents I tell her what behaviour I expect of her and punish her if she doesn't do as she is told.
Today she sat beautifully in F&Bs, spoke politely to the waitress and ate nicely too.
I can't stand feral children and their utterly not fit for purpose parents.

Owllady · 09/04/2013 15:49

The only time I have ever got annoyed with other peoples children is if they have been horrible to my daughter tbh, calling her a spaz, doing impressions of her. That kind of thing. Some of these peoples children are in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s though

MsBella · 09/04/2013 15:51

Are you the same people who tut at kids playing loudly outside or climbing trees..?

exoticfruits · 09/04/2013 15:51

With their wonderfully behaved MN children

No one expects small children to be wonderfully behaved all the time but it is your job as a parent to make sure they behave appropriately in certain places. A restaurant/cafe is a good example of needing to sit still, unless it is especially for children, with a play area. The safety aspect has been mentioned over and over again and it is very unfair to put the staff in a position where they could hurt a child. I remember a similar thread to this one and the poster had been a waitress-she was carrying hot food when a toddler got underfoot and she had a split second to decide if it went over her or the toddler. She chose herself and had to have medical treatment and still had the scars. She didn't even get a simple 'sorry' from the parents.
If your DC can't do it then you start with very short periods and build up. You take them out if annoying others.
There are lots of places where they need to be taken out if they can't behave in an appropriate manner-the cinema immediately springs to mind.

usualsuspect · 09/04/2013 15:51

lol at not fit for purpose parents.

I'm glad none of mine turned out to be judgmental tutters.

brdgrl · 09/04/2013 15:53

owllady, it seems to me that you are talking about using meals out as a learning experience, and teaching kids how to meet expectations of good behaviour. Perfect. Now, please take bella to lunch and talk her through it.

TomArchersSausage · 09/04/2013 15:53

You're right we're not all the same. We need to be tolerant.

You said it

exoticfruits · 09/04/2013 15:53

Are you the same people who tut at kids playing loudly outside or climbing trees..?

You are being utterly ridiculous. That is a place where children can run and shout. Can you not tell the difference? Are you not teaching your children that behaviour that is appropriate in one place is not appropriate in another?

MsBella · 09/04/2013 15:55

But were not talking about running and shouting in a restaurant, just wandering a little bit and chatting

Chockyeggpants · 09/04/2013 15:55

MsBella: "why I should I refuse...."
BECAUSE YOU ARE THEIR PARENT AND NOT THEIR BEST FRIEND.

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