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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you for a name for daughter's bits?

301 replies

lucamom · 07/04/2013 09:11

Apologies in advance if this is inappropriate.

My two boys (6 & 4) are mildly obsessed with the fact that baby sister (1) doesn't have a dinkle. We deal with the anatomy explanations quite well I think until it comes time to 'name' her bits (appropriate to their age, but avoiding twee names like foo-foo/Twinkie etc)

I hate the 'v' word (rubbish I know-sister is a midwife who believes in using medical terms for everything!), and I think as a kid we used fanny, which I also hate.

So tell me, what do you/your daughter's call yours? Inspiration needed please.

Sorry if this is weird!

OP posts:
TheBigJessie · 08/04/2013 10:32

I can't believe the way people in this thread have reacted to being told the fucking truth. Words are for communicating. If you, or your child use unusual vocabulary, you will have more difficulty communicating.

What do you think words are for?!

OxfordBags · 08/04/2013 10:49

Certainly not for discussing ghastly unmentionables in one's underpants, it would seem, BigJessie.

Scholes34 · 08/04/2013 10:58

Haven't ever really encountered a problem with this until Saturday night when watching Casualty - otherwise known as The Worst Case Scenario Show - with DS1 (14) and DS2(12). The programme prompted the need for me to explain what femal genital mutilation is to DS1.

pigletmania · 08/04/2013 10:59

I don't have a problem communicating TBJ. I don't see how it's any odes business how they refer to their genitalia it's up to the person nobody else. If you want to use the anatomical word use it but if I want to refer to it as something else tats my proactive. What about boys calling their penis willy do you have a problem with that! We all know what a willy is

TheBigJessie · 08/04/2013 11:12

Precisely. We all know what a willy is. A little boy with a pain "in [my] willy" can access help easily.

A little girl with a pain in private family term can't. Get it?

Kaekae · 08/04/2013 11:25

I had this problem, it needed addressing when my son kept referring to DDs as willy. Hmm So we call it "flower" now. I don't care about it sounding "twee" I called it a flower or minnie when little. Vulva is not one I am keen on...liking Wilma though!!Grin

countrykitten · 08/04/2013 11:29

pigletmania did you really have to say 'down below' to your doctor? Was this because you are embarrassed? I find this really sad. Sad

fromparistoberlin · 08/04/2013 11:32

fanny
vagina

248 posts on this? SWEET JESUS

I really hope OP is real and some some dirty old pead......

dondon33 · 08/04/2013 11:32

My sisters and I used 'fairy' when small and explaining something or speaking about it. Later I used 'Foof' and still do sometimes :)
The only time I use the correct terms is if speaking to the GP etc I don't like the word Vagina - the word just annoys me.

I have all boys so told them girls have a fairy and my sisters use it with their daughters too. Although they all knew/know the correct names.

DorcasDelIcatessen · 08/04/2013 11:33

Widgy. Covers both sexes.

countrykitten · 08/04/2013 11:36

fromparis that would be 'paed' I think.

pigletmania · 08/04/2013 11:47

Yes I did, don't know why your sad county because I'm not. This is quite common, yes I feel more comfortable saying it. The doctr knew what I meant. Willy or winkle is not a proper anatomical word but tat seems to be more accepted than than female equivalents double standards

pigletmania · 08/04/2013 11:48

I do,admit that some ofte alternatives in here are a bit Hmm.

countrykitten · 08/04/2013 11:54

I find it sad because you are 'more comfortable' saying 'down below' than saying vulva or vagina. I don't understand why you are so embarrassed and ashamed of your own body that you cannot even name it to a medical professional! Don't you think that's sad?

I am pretty damn sure that my DH would not use the word 'willy' if he went to our GP. So no double standards here.

pigletmania · 08/04/2013 12:15

No not really country different strokes for different folks. I doesn't mean I don't know them and I feel ashamed, you would not bat an eye if a man told te doctor his willy or todger hurt. It seems as if it's fine for men to use alternatives but not women!

countrykitten · 08/04/2013 12:33

My DH would not say 'willy' to his doctor as he is an adult with an understanding of what his penis is and what it's called.

Anyway 'down there' is not even a name is it? It's like it's too vile to be even given a name so it's just an amorphous region that we don't mention in polite company.

If you are not ashamed can you explain why you can't use the correct term with your doctor? I an genuinely interested as to what else would prevent you saying the words other than shame/embarrassment.

pigletmania · 08/04/2013 12:41

It depends sometimes I have used the correct term to the doctor sometimes not depends how I'm feeling.

fromparistoberlin · 08/04/2013 12:41

thanks for that countrykitten

as most "paed" decryers are seen to be thick I deliberately misspelt.....

HotCrossPun · 08/04/2013 12:45

I HATE the word fanny being used by kids. Maybe because up here its regularly used as a derogatory term, but I just think its horrible.

StuntGirl · 08/04/2013 12:47

I think the issue piglet is that the slang words used for male genitalia seem to be quite common across the board, they are genuine slang words which mean penis. The ones for female genitalia are not, they are much more individual to the family with a not easily understood meaning.

For example: "My willy/todger/meat and two veg/etc hurts" is understandable. While not being anatomically correct they are actual slang words which mean penis.

vs

"My flower/foof/mrs tiggy winkle/fairy/noo noo/twinkle/etc hurts" is not understandable. They are also often words which actually describe or mean something else entirely, or worse are utterly meaningless.

ChairmanWow · 08/04/2013 12:48

However it's been spelt I agree with you paris. I just can't see a generation of girls damaged because their genitals weren't referred to issuing the correct anatomical terms. I certainly wasn't and I'm definitely not ashamed of my vagina. It's served me well!

Spero · 08/04/2013 14:10

I am now going to use the term Ghastly Unmentionables, as that seems pretty clear.

OxfordBags · 08/04/2013 14:12

How can you not have to use the correct term to a Doctor if that's the body part you need to discuss?! Genuine question.

All the posters pointing out that there are recognised casual words for penis, but none for vagina are spot-on. If there were some, I wouldn't have a problem about them being used. I use willy and balls to my DS, because they are what the majority of other little boys will have them referred to, and which anyone can recognise when those terms are used, and they're not terms that suggest that the parts referred to are somehow icky, vague, indistinct, embarrassing, etc.

Seems to me like terminology for female genitals that's outside the correct terminology falls into either the whole madonna or whore thang: either offensive and crude sexual words or silly, mimsy, ashamed names that work to not make it even seem like a real part of the body.

seriouscakeeater · 08/04/2013 14:16

Wow believe people are actually feeling ' sad' about anonmous people and what they call there fanjo, fanny,foof,flower,vagina. Who actually gives a shit!? Each to there own .....

seriouscakeeater · 08/04/2013 14:19

Meat and two veg isn't understandable by all either.... Stop being a hypocrite spero.

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