To ask you for a name for daughter's bits?

[lucamom]

Apologies in advance if this is inappropriate.

My two boys (6 & 4) are mildly obsessed with the fact that baby sister (1) doesn't have a dinkle. We deal with the anatomy explanations quite well I think until it comes time to 'name' her bits (appropriate to their age, but avoiding twee names like foo-foo/Twinkie etc)

I hate the 'v' word (rubbish I know-sister is a midwife who believes in using medical terms for everything!), and I think as a kid we used fanny, which I also hate.

So tell me, what do you/your daughter's call yours? Inspiration needed please.

Sorry if this is weird!

To medical professionals it's the proper word but talking with friends or on here it's fanjo

My dd told me it was her 'line' the other day which i thought was fair enough - sure people would know what she meant

I can't believe you're asking.

FANJO - Obviously!!! I only have boys

not all HCPs use the medical/correct terminology

i had to give a swab sample not long back for having a coil fitted

the nurse gave the swab and pot, and asked if it was ok if i did it 'you know, up there' myself, i asked her if she meant my vagina and she was embarrassed - wtf?

i have vowed to ask her if she meant 'cunt' next time

oxford I think you have gone a bit over board....of course when i'm speaking to medical professions I would use the correct term but were actually talking about small children...
And no, I defiantly have no 'issues' as I don't want my small dc to know the specific terms of her vulva,clitoris,labia..they have all the time in the world when they are a little older.

And also just out of interest do you say '' have you wiped, your anus?'

But we are all allowed an opinion ... dosnt mean that that those who disagree with you have ''ishooos''

Ask a child to point and they will often just vaguely point 'down below' - and you have to be very careful you can't be accused of influencing a child's account, it has to come from them.

I am sorry so many people are squeamish about certain words but I think it is important for a child to know what parts of their body are called. Hopefully being interviewed about sexual abuser is very rare but children also need to be able to tell adults what bit of them is hurting if they have an infection etc.

And why should children grow up thinking that their 'bits' are shameful or embarrassing?

Treating the whole genital area as That Which Cannot Be Named is massively unhelpful on very many levels.

Fgs this is getting rediculous. Yes some people use a nn, including me, but as previously said, that doesn't mean to the exclusion of anatomically correct words.

All my dcs, 16,9 and 4 know the proper words but I don't use them every day.

I was never told and yet somehow I know. Mmm Maybe it's because I learned them as I got older?

No one is going to do there child irreparable harm using a nn in daily language as long as they do it along side correct terms.

I will NEVER forget taking my 5 year od step son to WHSmiths to get DH a Christmas present and him spotting the football magazines. A row of footballers defending a free kick on the front page. DSS pipes up REALLY loudly - Look W - those men are holding their VAGINAS. I nearly died and a guy standing next to us nearly spat out his false teeth.

Not sure whe ther it would have been any less embarrasing if he had called them their penises and testicles though.

How about 'lemon' - as in 'I need to squeeze the lemon' or 'lettuce' - as in 'I need to shake the lettuce'. That should cause no confusion surely?

'Salad for dinner tonight? Can you get the lettuce out and wash it please.' Or, 'would you like a squeeze of lemon on your pancake?'

Frou frou. A name given us by a vair famous female pop star DH was working for at the time of our dilemma.

Hair - I agree. I used to ask my daughter if she had wiped her bum properly. But she knew what an anus was.

why would the child grow up thinking that there 'bits' are shameful or embarrassing?'

Do you use the words urethra,anus, perineum, for me this is too confusing for small dc I would simply ask for them to show me if there was an problem. Plus I don't think they would remember all the correct terminology !

I'm just baffled at the embarrassment to be honest. Vulva, labia, clitoris... they're just words, and straightforward, anatomical, descriptive words at that. They're not even words known to have that bit of shock or gross factor like cunt, minge, clunge or whatever, so where the blushes are coming from I don't know.

If my mother had only ever referred to my vulva/vagina as 'down there' or told me that se didn't want to hear those words, I suspect there is a slight chance I might have grown up with not an entirely healthy attitude towards my body parts.

Interested to ponder if there is a link between this twee mimsy and our shockingly high rate of teenage pregnancies.

I don't use words like 'uretha' - why would I? My daughter knows anus, penis, testicles, vagina and vulva.

Her grandmother called her lady parts a 'noo noo' which made me want to scream. Her grandmother was also pretty clear she found 'that sort of thing' disgusting.

stuntgil I don't think anyone has said they are embarrassed about the words just that they feel too clinical

Serious I wouldn't burger I've asked the anus question and have yet to get a response. Strange that

*bother

I have answered the anus question. I don't ask my daughter if she has wiped her anus. We say 'bum' in our house.

But she knows what an anus is and could use that word if needed.

I really really don't care what people call their bits. I don't think it matters. In our family we don't use the anatomically correct words but it certainly isn't because we are embarrassed, uptight or prudish.

I don't say that i am going to defacate and urinate , I say I am going to the bathroom.

I use words like bum, tummy and boobs. It's normal every day slang.

spero
Interested to ponder if there is a link between this twee mimsy and our shockingly high rate of teenage pregnancies.

. You have to be kidding!!! Do you honestly think we may of stumbled over the solution to teenage pregnancy.

According to Spero not teaching children to name their genitals the correct anatomical name puts them at risk of teenage pregnancy and if they are unfortunate enough to be sexually abused, it could mean their abuser not getting convicted.

I agree hair, I was never taught but learned when it mattered, it was also fanny, bits but I knew wat tey were. What if a child could no speak or had a language delay you would ave to find other ways of trying to get information from them. The terminology just seems to clinical especially for a young child

I look at how the Dutch bring up their children - teach them to take care of their bodies and respect themselves - and how we do, dancing about,calling a vulva a foo foo, thinking its 'too clinical' to use a perfectly ordinary word...

So yes. I do think our attitudes to sex and naming of parts may well contribute to our extremely high rate of teenage pregnancies.

And sadly, I know without doubt from my professional experience, that it contributes to the collapse of investigations into child sex abuse.

Spero armchair ponderings I think. Well I did not earn te correct terminology until very late and I frost had sex in my 20s and was married and financially stable when I had dd at 30