To ask you for a name for daughter's bits?

[lucamom]

Apologies in advance if this is inappropriate.

My two boys (6 & 4) are mildly obsessed with the fact that baby sister (1) doesn't have a dinkle. We deal with the anatomy explanations quite well I think until it comes time to 'name' her bits (appropriate to their age, but avoiding twee names like foo-foo/Twinkie etc)

I hate the 'v' word (rubbish I know-sister is a midwife who believes in using medical terms for everything!), and I think as a kid we used fanny, which I also hate.

So tell me, what do you/your daughter's call yours? Inspiration needed please.

Sorry if this is weird!

Girlie bum? That is just horrible dragonfly. As is front bottom - really....?

In fact girlie bum is one of the worst things I have ever heard.

ohdobuckup - but there is also fun and affection too in attaching ""twee and mimsie" names to parts. After all they have to be used and attended to on a daily basis, so why not make it fun, un-threatening or just part of family bonding ?

Exactly! This thread has turned into something that I shouldn't have I think...I see people mention peeing and pooing...should we not be pulling them up for this and demanding that their children use the correcting terms and refer to urinating and defecating ? My children know the correct names and also use their "pet" names for their penis or vulva. They both see Mum and Dad's "bits" on a regular basis when we're in the bath or using the loo. Don't know why everything has to be turned into a bloody biology lesson or become so clinical....

But even the twee types amongst you must still be appalled by girlie bum? I will never get it out of my head now.

Front bottom!

lol at "twee types"....Girlie bum ? Not my personal choice but not the most offensive thing I've heard either....

spero. Has a single poster suggested NOT teaching a child the correct term? I think you are mistaken if you think that.

I also don't get your opinion that because a lot of us use nicknames for our genitalia then we won't be teaching our children to 'respect and look after their bodies'. What a bizarre thing to think.

You are reading things that are not there and making very odd (almost offensive) assumptions about other posters.

Girlie bum is WRONG on so many levels.

Leaves thread to go and lie down in darkened room

In our house a penis is called a 'who who dilly ? wiener ? willy ? winky ?yogurt slinger.'

And a vagina is called a 'coochie coo - fairy - bald man in a boat - tampon tunnel'.

We say bits but my sister calls it "Mrs Tiggy winkle" which I am afraid to say is catching on with my children.......!

My brother and SIL told their DD it was a "flower". i always sniggered if someone got a bunch of flowers for a special occasion

Bits. Both male and female.

I was talking about wat you said about the link between teenage pregnancies and using the correct terminology. Also, what if a Chidren has speech and language problems o does not have the maturity to describe what they mean. In cases where very young children are involved you are going to have difficulties ecause of teir age and eves of understanding, not becuse tey did not use t right terminology. It's hard for adults of abuse to speak to professionals, and to be crss examined by a judge, I can imagine it would be terrifying for a young child, who might possibly forget ey points and clam up under stress

Sorry typing on I pad keeps leaving things out

I thought a lot of posters had been clear they found the words 'vulva' and 'vagina' ugly, clinical or disgusting and I didn't get the impression they were ever using those words with their children.

If that is the wrong assumption, I am sorry. Like I have said, I have no problem with people using whatever family language they like, as long as they are not avoiding certain words. That is certainly what I do, hence the anus/bum distinction.

I do think there is a link between our odd Benny Hill type attitudes to sex - all snigger, ooo its a bit disgusting, lets not talk about it - and the sad attitudes quite a lot of teenagers have about sex. Of all the European counties, our statistics are very poor re underage sex/teenage pregnancy. We are on a par with North America which as the same unhealthy prudish attitudte - in my view.

I accept that is just 'armchair ponderings' because it is not something I have studied in any great detail - just read a few articles, watched a few documentaries. So take it with as much a pinch of salt as you want.

Report spero all you like. I have rechecked her posts and there is nothing in then that would make the victim identifiable. She has been plenty discreet while trying to make you understand the seriousness of this.
She also did not say it was the parents fault that abuse happened, she said the trial couldn't go forward because the little girl didn't have the language to talk about what had happened.

Please listen, it's fine to have pet names but at least sometimes you need to use the proper words in front of and in discussion with your children. So that if the worst happens they can adequately describe what they need to describe.

We have willies and fannies in our house. I think they are quite straightforward, unconfusing non-medical terms. I can't imagine any confusion if a child said 'Uncle Tony touched my fanny'

I hate 'bits', especially if it's just used for girls' genitalia - I grew up with no name for my genitals and 'bits' doesn't seem much of an improvement on that.

It's good for DC to know the anatomical names for their genitals for all the reasons discussed above but they are just that - anatomical names - and I don't think it's realistic, especially when they reach school age and discuss things in the playground for them to continue using those terms on a day to day basis, hence, we need a friendly, unconfusing, everyday equivalent to willy for a girl's vulva/vagina - I can't think of a better candidate than fanny.

Incidentally, I have referred to my fanny to both doctors and midwives without confusion or embarrassment.

Vagina.

Or ninky nanky noo.

Or minnie.

Or wanny.

Tuppence (is that how you spell it???)

" but my sister calls it "Mrs Tiggy winkle""

Grrr

Fanny now just makes me think of the iron bru advert

My five year old calls hers a 'doo da'

I've heard: noo noo, fairy, minnie, floo.

This is quite interesting on why we use euphemisms

www.jllonline.co.uk/journal/4_2/linfoot_ham.pdf

Its pretty long but I think I am correct in summing up that the authors say we use euphemisms about things which embarrass us or we find shameful and we want to keep secret. They agree with what George Orwell said - 'if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought'

Which is partly why I object so vehemently to 'noo noo' .

KatoPotato

Growing up my DM had my sister and me calls ours our 'split' ! How utterly fucking disgusting, thanks mum!

That made me wee a little bit laughing.

I agree spero but if it makes me feel comfortable referring to my vulva in another way so be it. I have sometimes said to the doctor that I had an itch down below, she knew exactly what I meant and examined it, there was no confusion. Surely it's up to the person to use what makes them feel comfortable. When dd is a bit older I will go through the correct anatomical names. At te moment we use what we use as tat is what dd is used to and can say and understand (dd6 has asd, devlopmental and speech and Lang delay). It's up to te parents to take cues from their child and take it from there