Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel sorry for Amanda Holden re her article about Mumsnet

484 replies

GrowSomeCress · 06/04/2013 22:36

www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2305111/Why-I-hate-negative-judgmental-Mumsnet--Amanda-Holden-Britains-Got-Talent-star-accuses-site-fuelling-mothers-guilt.html

Seems to be newly posted.

I think sometimes it's forgotten that famous people are actually real people with genuine feelings.

Don't agree with her about mumsnet just being negative and judgemental all the time though, really excellent support available on here.

OP posts:
CherylTrole · 20/04/2013 10:52

OP YABU.
Amanda Holden deserves all she gets IMO. She is completely famehungry to the point of oblivion. Always was, still is. Her fame will always come first, over her family. Reveal mag did an article on this poor Amanda tripe too. Have to laugh at her licking Simons Cowells hairy arse nonstop!!
Xenia how do you find the time, whilst running the planet, to write your epic posts?

BigBoobiedBertha · 20/04/2013 11:10

She probably delegates post writing to a lesser mortal trained in The Xenia Rules of Life. She is too busy having fun working to have time for this nonsense. Grin

Sorry Xenia, i luffs you really - you do get a lot of stick but you mostly take it on the chin and you do give this poor pathetic PT Working/SAHM brain a work out.

I didn't mean to get dragged back into this either. I only came on here this morning as I was reading an interesting article on toddlers and technology and wanted to dissect it with somebody who gives a damn - DH doesn't since our DS s are brilliant despite being saddled with a less than perfect mother Shock and doesn't see the point.

Bessie123 · 20/04/2013 11:41

exoticfruits I have known Xenia through this and another forum for nearly 10 years now. She seems like a nice person but hasn't changed her views at all over that time - it's not like other people haven't tried.

SuffolkNWhat · 20/04/2013 12:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BigBoobiedBertha · 20/04/2013 12:20

I don't know she isn't doing anybody any harm. Those made of weaker stuff than us could be made to feel a bit useless given her damning condemnation of all those not like her. There will be lurkers who feel judged and a bit inadequate for even daring to consider staying at home or not giving everything to their careers.

She doesn't bother me as I don't think all her choices are that great and I don't think things are as rosy as she makes out.

we all know her but what if you hadn't come across her funny little ways before she could be quite scary!

exoticfruits · 20/04/2013 12:57

I have been on threads with Xenia for a long time. She says the same, I say the same. I would miss her if she didn't appear. I think she has a great message if she phrased it differently. She would do so much better to stick to the positives on working women and not dilute it with all the scathing negatives on all those who don't put it top priority.

Darkesteyes · 20/04/2013 15:19

Wow i didnt know that being racist and classist made you a nice person Who knew Confused

Darkesteyes · 20/04/2013 15:20

XeniaThu 13-Sep-12 08:48:58
SOme people will always be poor and make up excuses and say impossible. Others get on with things and improve their lives. I hope we can remain a country where there are sufficient people with the personal values to make something better of themselves whatever it take. I accept and have said on iother threads that there is a problem once you start earning in a new business in coming off benefits althoug the new single benefit is going to make it easier - there was a letter in the Times about it last week - you can work for a year to get your self employed business going so things are imjproving thanks to this Government.

Just look at those who have moved here from abroad to see what is possible. I advise them all the time. They are wonderful, hard workers etc I hvae so much more in common with them than the fat lumpen negative white benefit claimants of the UK.

Darkesteyes · 20/04/2013 15:25

(On workfare you take four single mothers and one minds the children whilst the other 3 do whatever the work that is proposed)

And who pays for the child minding qualifications or registering or whatever red tape is needed to acheive this.

LittleBearPad · 20/04/2013 19:17

Xenia I thought of you when I read that article today and In light of this thread. However it doesn't say what you say it does. It says that 15% of women consider suvceeding in their career to be fundamental to their definition of themselves and that they don't understand the remaining 85% who prioritise other things, home for example.

It doesn't say that the 15% are fabulous parents (or terrible ones either).

It does say that the 15% don't understand how women who hold jobs rather than pursuing all-encompassing high-powered careers or who stay at home can be happy. But they can be. Not everyone thinks the same way as you do and that doesn't make them wrong.

Bessie123 · 20/04/2013 22:47

I skimmed a couple of lines of that article (haven't got round to reading it yet) and did see that it described the 15% as having 'no maternal instinct'. In all honesty, xenia I was skimming the article to look for your name.

Arisbottle · 20/04/2013 22:53

Bessie I think you have sunk to new depths of bitchiness to directly say that Xenia has or maternal instinct.

Arisbottle · 20/04/2013 22:53

No maternal instinct .

Bessie123 · 20/04/2013 22:57

Oh, that's not what I was saying at all. I was wondering whether that is what Xenia really wanted to identify herself with.

The skimming for Xenia's name was another point, maybe I should have put it on a separate line or in a separate post, to make it clear.

I reckon Xenia can fight her own battles though.

Xenia · 21/04/2013 09:37

Actually I have an absolutely massive maternal instinct. I was reading books about methods of childbirth at 14 and deliberately got married and started having a lot of children young, big member of bodies like NCT, LLL, ABM etc, babies have been a big bit of my life which is why I have some just leaving prep school whilst the oldest are heading for 30. Adiored breastfeeding, even solely breastfeeding the twins. In some senses I would win mumsnet prize for most hours of mothering nad biggest maternal instinct.

Now those who are not up to working and having children like to think women who work farm out children and don't have maternal instincts and are bad mothers. The non working mothers form that view to comfort themselves but it is not true. There will be very bad mothers at home and at work and of course fathers too. These threads get so sexist. presumably the stay at home mothers who criticise working mothers spend every night berating their husbands and accusing them of not loving their children because they abandon them and go out to work or are their marriages sexist to the core?

I don't know why that 2012 post of mine has been repeated a few times. I am pro immigration which I hope is not a sin on mumsnet. I just said I admire hard working immigrants and there is a core of benefits claimants who do not work and compared to hard working immigrants the claimants do not come over very well. I don't think it's something to preserve in aspic as some time of true expression of the evil that is Xenia.

I thought the Times article was interesting. A lot of it is sexist though and it feeds some people's assumptions that women (but of course never men who are Gods above all criticism in articles of that kind) who succeed at work are bad at other things. I just thought it was food for thought and worth posting.

exoticfruits · 21/04/2013 13:44

I loved the Times article, it all boiled down to the one sentence that I keep plugging:

Maybe peace would reign between full- time working mothers and those who stay at home if we recognised that we are different but equal beasts

It is personal choice, nothing more- it is only superior for the person choosing (and a sad for those who can't choose) - it is perfectly equal as a choice.

Darkesteyes · 21/04/2013 16:40

But Xenia you are a working mother who berates stay at home mothers. Why is it ok this way around?

LittleBearPad · 21/04/2013 17:05

In some senses I would win mumsnet prize for most hours of mothering nad biggest maternal instinct.

Xenia, you are so competitive, it's untrue - not everything is about being the best in the first place and thankfully such prizes aren't awarded anyway.

exoticfruits · 21/04/2013 17:12

Different but equal-the article said-therefore you can't have a superior parent, or say that one way is better for the child.

Xenia · 21/04/2013 21:01

"And who pays for the child minding qualifications or registering or whatever red tape is needed to achieve this." True free market libertarians abolish red tape. You don't need a single qualification to be a nanny nor to be registered and yet the children of the rich have some very good childcare from such nannies, so I don't see why you need them for child minding.

exoticfruits · 21/04/2013 22:12

I don't think that the really rich are very good role models- the way some of them bring up their children leaves a lot to be desired. I would always have a properly qualified, registered nanny. ( the only reason I can think of for not doing that is not having enough money).

Arisbottle · 21/04/2013 22:13

I am sure there are some very rich people who can be good role models.

exoticfruits · 21/04/2013 22:30

I'm sure there are- they are not the ones who get in the news though and I expect they want properly qualified and registered staff, and since they can afford it I can't see why they wouldn't.

exoticfruits · 21/04/2013 22:32

Or maybe they are just not very good employers and exploit their staff.

Xenia · 22/04/2013 13:51

No they just realise that pointless pieces of paper saying someone turned up for he HND in childcare is no more likely top be better at childcare than someone who has done it for years. There is no registration for nannies in the UK and we are lucky that that is so. The free market usually does better than state regulation.