To be shocked at my DD looking at porn

[sanfran22]

looking on safari history, I can see there's pornhub stuff on there, I shouldn't be surprised I suppose as she is 17 it just that it makes my stomach turn a little...

I wouldn't do that a wider discussion is something we need at some point, I dare not tell her father he would react in the wrong way, he thinks she's still 7 !

Sounds like normal horny teenage behaviour to me - she's 17 after all - old enough to get married! I definitely wouldn't let on to her that you know, she'll likely be mortified and it could affect her trust in you.

I guess the issue I would have is about her knowledge of safe sex and self-respect but that's a conversation you could have with her (if you haven't already) without bringing up the porn issue if you think it's necessary.

She could probably do with learning to clear her internet search history however to spare future blushes .

Her dad has a role to play here though. Does he use porn himself? What are his own views on the sex industry? It's very powerful for teenagers to hear their male role model criticising the effects that porn is having on popular culture. Especially again if this is from the perspective of not blaming young consumers who are force-fed unrealistic images, but blaming the people who exploit young people before they have developed their own ideas, political conscience and sexuality.

I'm surprised no ones mentioned this yet but really you should block adult content (not because she isn't an adult) but because she could download/watch illegal porn and then it would be on YOUR computer (or hers!)

There is so much child exploitation out there it would be terrible if she found it and was prosecuted.

Much safer to block it so that it doesn't happen.

I had to report myself to SS recently as I'd seen an exploitative video on foster dd's Facebook. (Not her)

Are people REALLY surprised a 17 year old looks at porn?! I thought they all did...

I think you need to accept she's growing up OP. she's not 7.

Not that porn is ideal in it's portrayls of sex and gender etc, but it's natural curiosity isn't it.

Are you a BBC Radio 4 listener? Bringing up Britain was about young people and porn. I discussed it with my DC (21 and 18). The website has loads of help info and you can still listen to it.

At 17 she is entitled to her own privacy, whatever shes into is her business, me and my friends used to laugh at porn at 17 as it was so unrealistic, but we were curious all the same. porn is more accessible nowadays though and sex and porn seems to be more acceptable to young people as the media seems to flaunt sex at every given oppurtunity, children seem far more aware than i ever was. This makes me sad as i think some kids are forced to grow up too quickly.

just leave her to it. Ive seen a lot of porn, and at 17 was doing most of that stuff without having ever seen porn and was seeking it out myself.

She may well actually be interested in all this stuff, and screaming ITS NOT NORMAL, ITS NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF REAL FEMALE SEXUALITY, is probably just going to make her think you dont understand.

Just let her get on with it, shes an adult now.

although obviously up to you what she acccesses on YOUR computer, but id be much more likely to say " if youre going to watch porn, can you get your own laptop as I dont want it on my computer. There IS internet history you know"

my concerns about teenagers and porn is not that they watch it but that they mat get wrong expectations from it. Girls always shaved giving bjs as a rule and being "naughtier" than what its natural.
If I had a teenage son watching porn I would have that conversation a lot more so he wouldnt expect girls to behave like that.
Also explain that sex with someone you love and feel confirtable with is romantic and much much.nicer than porn.
OP maybe you can wait until they show a tv program that may help you to start the conversation.
What about "Girls"?