Re DH and flowergirl dress

[vintageclock]

My cousin asked a while ago if our DD (aged 6) would be a flower girl at her wedding and we said yes. She took DDs measurements and bought a dress when she was in New York recently. The other night she came over with the dress for DD to try on and, to put it mildly, it's a bit tacky. It's electric blue, shiny material with a load of lace edged flounces at the bottom. The shoes to go with it are silver Mary Jane's (okay) but they have a one inch heel which really doesn't look good on a 6 yr old.
DH exploded when my cousin had left and said there was no way our dd was going out looking like something from My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. He wants us to make some kind of excuse and pull out of the whole thing.
However, my mum said she could never look my aunt in the face again if we did this, it would be so rude, it's only a dress etc etc.

So basically, I have my DH on one side and my Mum on the other and me caught in the middle.
Any ideas on what I should do?

What is he going to be like when she comes home wearing a crop top and hot pants at 14, with a face full of make-up?

You need to stand your ground now - she isn't his little dolly to be dressed up and shown off. There will be so many times during her growing up years when she challenges his taste or opinions. I can't imagine how hellish he will make her life if he doesn't chill out over such stupid non-issues.

OP: Show him this thread.

I bet most 6 year olds would love to wear a big fat gypsy wedding dress for the day. Your DH is being miserable.

Don't even compromise on the shoes. Particularly if other girls in the bridal party will have heels.

Just tell him he's a git and go. Don't let him spoil things.

I can see him clutching his chest if she ever decides to become a Goth/Punk

I really, really doubt it's a proper big fat gypsy wedding type dress. I bet we'd all be unbelievably disappointed if we saw the dress.

From the sounds of the dress it's not my taste at all either - but as someone else says apart from "taste" - there's nothing else to complain about either.

She has to wear it and your DH has to suck it up. The heels I can understand - you can have Your Rules about not letting a 6 year old wear heels - but she needs to wear the dress.

I think know the type of dress that your cousin brought back and if it is I think it is the type of dress that every 6 year old would love.

Your DH needs to back off. Making comments like that are how you end up with a girl with little self esteem which can lead to all sorts of issues. I am afraid he needs a 'bonk' over the head and as others have said, just wait till she is a teenager!

Thanks everyone. Emboldened by your comments I have had some strong words with DH and told him I sometimes do things I don't like for the sake of his family and this is my family and I'm not going to upset them or embarass my mum just to keep him happy over something as trivial as a dress. I've also said he's only to come to the wedding with us if he puts on a happy face. If he's going to look grumpy or as if he's turning his nose up, he's to stay at home. He's not happy but he didn't argue.
Thanks again.

Well done vintage for sticking up for yourself.

Hope you have a lovely day at your cousins wedding.

Wahey!!!

You done good girl!

I'm so glad...I was furious with your dh there.

That is a good outcome.

Yay, although I do think it's a bit sad that he sets so much sore by your daughter's appearance. Wouldn't it be nice for him to think of it more that it doesn't really matter how she's dressed - she is his little girl and looks adorable?

Vintage I'm also pleased you felt able to stand your ground.

So pleased you've stuck up for your dd. He'll get over it. Water under the bridge in not very long at all

Well done! :)

Great outcome OP!

Ah sounds like my DH. Sometimes they just need a metaphorical kick in the pants.

Good for you!

Here (America) the brides choose all that anyway, is that how it's done there? Your DD will love it. DH needs to suck it up. :)