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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In hating dd's friend?

88 replies

Nicknamenotavailableeither · 04/04/2013 16:18

So, invited dd's friend over for a play seeing as it is the Eastwr hols. Thought it would be nice for dd.

I have known that friend (henceforth known as nasty girl - ng) is a bit of a rascal, dd has said before that age gets in trouble at school quite a bit. I just didn't realise how truly horrid she is.

This is what she has done in the hour or so she has been here:

-- dropped massive chunks of biscuit in the floor, laughed and refused to clear it up.

--wiped chocolatey spit inside my diary (and laughed about it).

--asked me why I have such a fat bum? Hmm

--hit my dd and made her cry.

I fucking hate her. I want to call her mum and get her picked up. AIBU????

--

OP posts:
MarmaladeTwatkins · 04/04/2013 18:24

Medised jellies are the thing.

Molehillmountain · 04/04/2013 18:28

Grin marmalade. For the children or me?

lonahjomu · 04/04/2013 18:29

Thank goodness for those who can sympathise with you op. I hope she grows out of it, your daughter and her obviously are friends and it would be a shame if today ends that, but I'm not so sure I would rush into inviting her for a while.

MarmaladeTwatkins · 04/04/2013 18:29

Vodka jellies are for the parents.

With a cigarette chaser.

Molehillmountain · 04/04/2013 18:34

I don't think I agree with the posters who say that the child should never be invited again. For me, it's to do with what dd would like to happen and unless I really couldn't manage the behaviour (even with sanctions like time out etc) and it was out of control, I'd invite them back. I'd perhaps wait for dc to ask for that person again.

PoppyWearer · 04/04/2013 18:34

I've had quite a few of 4yo DD's school friends to play recently, with and without parents.

I don't hate any of them, but there are definitely some friendships I'll be nurturing more than others...

And don't get me started on my DNs....one I love, the other is cheeky/defiant and winds me up.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 04/04/2013 19:16

Once they hit 9 or 10 they manage their own friendships you know Poppy...it's a bloody mare actually.

One of my DDs friends is a horror but I like the Mother...DD on the other hand is tiring of her friend and has recently begun to move away from her grasp (and it IS a grasp) her Mother has reacted by ditching me it would seem. Sad

kiwimumof2boys · 05/04/2013 00:47

OP I hope you pulled her up on hitting your DD and making her cry ! that is so unacceptable !

MrsMacFarlane · 05/04/2013 09:54

My DS is 16 and has had a "friend" like this since they were both 4 years old. We've had to put up with her for 12 years, finally my DS has woken up to what a manipulative shit she is and is in the process of distancing herself from her. All along we knew she was a troublemaker and a nasty piece of work but she was DS's choice, not ours and she had to come to that conclusion herself.

Reading the OP reminded me of the first time she came round to the house. She dropped a whole box of Coco Pops on the kitchen floor and then stood on them. I was livid but managed to stay calm, however, when she kept saying "it doesn't matter, your Mum will clean it up" when my DS was a little distraught by it, I felt like lamping her. Brace yourself, you might have years of this....:)

QuintessentialShallots · 05/04/2013 10:01

I dont understand why you chose to invite to your home a child that is notorious for her bad behavior?!

You need to show her that you dont put up with it. Or call her mum. Swiftly.

freddiefrog · 05/04/2013 10:09

My DD has a friend like this too.

Started when they all started school. She was a nasty, spiteful, manipulative little girl. She made my daughter cry hundreds of times and I've never quite forgiven her for that. No one messes with my DDs Grin

They're 11 now, DD is beginning to see her for what she is and as they're all starting different secondary schools in September, hopefully the friendship will start to fade, but I've had to deal with this for years. I was never nasty or horrible to her and she was treated with kindness when here although regularly sent home for horrific behaviour but she had me ranting to DH when she'd gone home on many occasion

Airwalk79 · 05/04/2013 10:46

I feel your pain op. I have now stopped inviting said child round/ or letting my dd go to their house. I am always busy/ very vague about plans etc to try and escape her mother.
I take the dog to school and wait outside the gate, this is great for not having to make conversation! It's taken a while but we seem to have shaken them off. And find a nice friend to concentrate on.

gabsid · 05/04/2013 12:50

Oh, I thought they would grow out of it.

One friend DS had was horrible, or DS and that friend were both horrible when they were together, but now at age 8 the friend slowly seems to turn into a nice boy and I am happy for them to play together.

But 3 years ago I would avoid meeting my friend (who's DS he is) during the holidays because she was lax on discipline and I would constantly tell off my DS for being loud, inconsiderate, running off....

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