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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think the world does not need 'gender reveal parties'?

281 replies

dreamingbohemian · 04/04/2013 09:21

My cousin, clearly the first woman in the world to ever give birth Wink, has just had something called a gender reveal party.

They went for the scan, then had friends and family around, ramped up the suspense for a couple hours, then she opened a big box of balloons that were.... pink! It's a girl! Awwww.

AIBU to think this is the wankiest thing ever? Or am I a joyless hag?

My family think it's cute so I need you nest of vipers lot to restore my faith in humanity.

OP posts:
DoctorRobert · 04/04/2013 12:28

YANBU. Extremely wanky to think that anybody other than close family will actually give a shit.

sherbetpips · 04/04/2013 12:29

ha ha Pinterest is to blame! Have a look on there loads of gender reveal things

dizzyhoneybee · 04/04/2013 12:29

If we'd done this then we'd have had the wrong colour cake :)

As an aside, a friend had the scan and wanted to keep it a big secret whether her PFB was a boy or girl. That was fine until I went to visit her one day and she had washed all the clothes in readiness and there was a neat little row of blue baby grows on the washing line in her not-at-all-private back garden Grin

mnistooaddictive · 04/04/2013 12:30

It makes me really uncomfortable. I think it is to do with knowing people who have had the worst news at scans. Also babies do die before they are born or during birth etc. I guess that I think we shouldn't celebrate until the baby has arrived. I had 4 mc though do that probably influences me. I could never allow myself too much hope as it felt like tempting fate!

shrinkingnora · 04/04/2013 12:30

Chocoluvva - sorry, can't do September, I'll be busy getting Christmas sorted.

MrsKoala · 04/04/2013 12:32

This is one of those things which makes me think i was raised by wolves or am a replicant. i had no one to care i was pregnant let alone give a shit about the sex. mum and dad were underwhelmed at best. DH and i did not consider finding out and actually after the birth neither of us even checked or asked what ds was. the nurses said 'him' and neither of us even remarked on it. we never looked at childrens clothes and we didn't buy much or get anything or get anything ready till a week before the due date - and then it was a hassle. the whole thing just passed us by. ds is 7mo now and i still have never looked at or bought him clothes in a shop - just bought a job lot from an nct sale.

i realise after reading this how weird i sound Blush

JenaiMorris · 04/04/2013 12:33

I'll be busy sorting out the decorations in preparation for Halloween.

Bartlebee · 04/04/2013 12:42

Very wanky indeed.

And so self obsessed to assume every detail of your pregnancy is just as riveting to all and sundry as it is to you.

JenaiMorris · 04/04/2013 12:48

Your friend's/sibling's/cousin's baby's sex might be of no interest to you, but if it is to them then wouldn't it be a nice thing to at least pretend to give a stuff?

chocoluvva · 04/04/2013 12:48

"some silly nonsense"

Some? Eh, what? I agree in principle, but what about the now compulsory Red Nose Day, Comic Relief, Halloween (that reminds me, what's wrong with old-fashioned swedes - who made it the law to have to hoist a massive pumpkin back from the supermarket and hack into it for a couple of hours), Easter Egg Hunts, 'Pancake Day' (I think you'll find that's 'Shrove Tuesday')?

There's such pressure to be having extrovert fun on set days - for commercial reasons.

BlueSuedeStiletto · 04/04/2013 12:48

Ah. May be outing myself here but...

Close Friend's brother is married to an American woman. She's lovely but VERY American. A couple of years ago, they had a gender reveal party (followed by a baby shower, a welcome to the world party and a christening. I was SKINT by the end!). I'd never heard of this before but I's obviously a very big deal in the States as her DM, DF, DSis and best friend actually flew over for the occasion.

Anyway, it's a massive, very formal tea party, with champagne, little sandwiches, table centrepieces, the lot. An hour or so in, one person at each table stands and bursts a massive balloon which has been sticking out of the display in the centre of their table, releasing a shower of pink glitter and confetti. We were then all presented with a beautiful pink iced cupcake proclaiming "it's a GIRL!" The American guests looked teary and cheered, the Brits followed suit with many a "WTF!?" glance being exchanged. DF and his DW then get up and make a lovely speech about how excited they are to be welcoming their daughter Maisie Carolyn into the world and how privilaged they feel that we were there to share their special moment with them. It was all completely over the top. But quite sweet all the same.

Imagine my surprise then, 2 months later, when their DS was born.

His name is Rory. Grin

Maisie finally made it last month. They didn't have a gender reveal party!

Owllady · 04/04/2013 12:50

I can't think of anything worse Confused

Owllady · 04/04/2013 12:51

blue suede, that's funny :o I love the teary eyed americans versus the wtf british too

bamboobutton · 04/04/2013 12:51

YABU

Did they ask for gifts? I'm assuming not as i can't see any mention.

Did everyone have cake? Yes! What's not to like.

My sis did one. We gathered for cake, cake was cut, we all went 'wooooo', we all ate the cake and had tea.

Gender reveal party's are nowhere near as wanky as baby shower grabathons.

Sizzlesthedog · 04/04/2013 12:55

I.am.speechless. Confused

JenaiMorris · 04/04/2013 12:55

chocca I'm not keen on enforced jollity and it can indeed grate, but the 'bag humbug' dismissal of any other than a few approved examples (mustn't be too American, mustn't be too new fangled) is just the ascetic side of the same coin.

GetOeuf · 04/04/2013 12:56

I really like the idea of baby showers, and think it is a nice US tradition to cross the pond, but I don't like the gender reveal thing, but I think because personally I would prefer to find out the sex at birth, plus also think babies should be dressed in white for weeks (old fashioned) and would hate a load of pink or blue baby grows. Urgh at the whole pink and blue thing anyway.

GetOeuf · 04/04/2013 12:58

Exactly what jenai said. Yes you may think it is a bit wanky, but just because it is American doesn't mea it is bad. Some of their traditions are nice and worth adopting.

TheBigJessie · 04/04/2013 13:02

Some people like parties. People who like parties often come from families who like parties, or have surrounded themselves with fellow Annoying Sociable Types. So on that count, I don't care.

However, an official occasion to start pushing a small person, who isn't even born yet, into gender stereotypes doesn't sit well with me.

I detest the whole pink and blue thing. There are so many other wonderful colours in the world.

chocoluvva · 04/04/2013 13:03

I wouldn't rain on anyone's parade Jenai. When I'm invited to gatherings I go and enter into the spirit. But it puts pressure on people to spend money - that's why these things start. And impressionable types are made to feel inferior or unhappy if they can't afford them or aren't invited to join in the fun.

I

BeCool · 04/04/2013 13:04

all I can think of to say is WTF???!!!

BerylStreep · 04/04/2013 13:06

There would have been a lot of red faces if I had thrown one. My DS was supposed to be a DD - we had been told on 3 different occasions.

Which led to a very embarrassing 'is my son's willy small?' conversation with the consultant, who thought I was nuts.

(it isn't, BTW, just a bit shy Grin)

Original poster
dreamingbohemian · 04/04/2013 13:07

See, I don't mind baby showers at all -- okay yes, some people have very grabby and tacky ones, but for most people it's just a chance to celebrate before the baby comes. A nice tradition.

I don't want to be too bah humbug, Jenai, I see what you're saying.

I guess I think there's a fine line between excitement and exhibitionism. Being all excited because you're having a baby is one thing, making a big show about what kind of baby it is seems a bit too much.

I mean look at Blue's story -- 4 parties! For one baby!

OP posts:
Snazzynewyear · 04/04/2013 13:13

YANBU. It's wanky.

Nothing wrong with getting together with your friends and family for cake but why not just do that because you want to?

I am now off to get ready for my 'will I have ham or cheese on my lunchtime sandwich?' reveal party.

olivertheoctopus · 04/04/2013 13:14

Super wanky. Even more wanky than baby showers!