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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

(Lighthearted) who is BU, DH or me? Holidaying with a baby.

41 replies

Umlauf · 03/04/2013 09:20

Please help us settle an argument! DH and I are expecting our first baby in September. I really want to go on holiday the following Easter for a number of reasons, to get some sun, to relax as a family, to have something to aim my exercise/post baby weight loss towards, to explore a new place.

(Due to wanting sunshine we would go long haul (currently in Granada and its bloody freezing) and we would be careful with money so probably not stay in a mark Warner childcare type resort). We thought of Mexico pre-pregnancy...

DH thinks:
-plane journey will be too long
-too hot for a baby to be comfortable
-not worth the money considering dropping to 1 income when baby's born

I think:
-long journey better with baby than toddler
-babies live in hot places, not a problem if sensible with shade/sun cream
-worth the money to have something amazing to do together

Neither of us has had a baby before so we are blissfully ignorant as to how much our lives will change. Who is BU, DH or me?!

OP posts:
MyDarlingClementine · 03/04/2013 09:23

Go, I know people who travel all over the world with babies/toddlers in tow. One little holiday isnt going to be a prob.

Hassled · 03/04/2013 09:25

You're both wrong and you're both right .

Personally I think while yes, it is doable and everything you say is correct, it is also unnecessarily ambitious. You could get one of those babies who never sleeps - 6/7 months in and you could be brain-dead zombies averaging 4 hours' sleep a night. Long-haul won't appeal much then. And you may not be fully appreciating how the drop in income will actually feel.

So compromise - the Med? Somewhere that's less of a trek, but guaranteed sunshine? Doesn't have to be tourist-ville - you can still make it a bit of an adventure.

Original poster
Umlauf · 03/04/2013 09:27

But where, Hassled?! We are road tripping round the southern tip of Spain at the moment (we live in spain) and its rainy and miserable! Where else might be hotter?!

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 03/04/2013 09:27

Well, parenting usually takes one of two courses: Either the baby fits in with your lifestyle, or you stop everything and think the world revolves round your PFB.

FWIW my mate went on a driving holiday all over Europe when her baby was 3 months old. Didn't suffer any ill effects. On the other hand, another acquaintance I used to work with used to be able to make the most mammoth task of nipping to the corner shop for a pink of milk, having to pack all manner of crap just in case, in case of what, I'm not sure.

Do you mean Granada in Spain? I'd be nipping down to Morocco! A lot closer

HorryIsUpduffed · 03/04/2013 09:27

6/7m is an ideal age for travelling.

Sitting on a beach just won't happen. A 6/7mo would be bored.

You're both right Grin

Pilgit · 03/04/2013 09:30

you both are a bit! People travel all over with small people and so it can be done. Babies are generally easier than toddlers on planes. BUT you don't know what your baby will be like - may be an angel but may be horrific on a flight! Like with anything with a small person - start small and build up to it. You don;t want a long haul flight to be where you discover they are not a good flier. I'm a great believer that having a baby shouldn't stop you doing things - you just have to b better planned and more organised.

MyThumbsHaveGoneWeird · 03/04/2013 09:31

Totally agree with your first two points. Babies can go anywhere and are much better company on adult type holidays than opinionated 2 yr olds (although that's doable too).

The money is a separate question and between you really.

Don't feel too bad if the baby weight doesn't shift by then. I got to 18 months and then it all suddenly went. I think sleep deprivation and breast feeding hormones mean your body is still not really your own for longer than you think.

Bunbaker · 03/04/2013 09:32

I think it is far better to wait until your baby has arrived before you make any decisions. Also I would be wary of going anywhere that needs jabs/anti malarials.

HandMini · 03/04/2013 09:32

Some of its perception....if you think travel with a baby is tough / scary / a hassle, it probably will be so you need to help your DP to be positive about it.

You will have to be realistic about having flexible plans when you get there and definitely don't set your heart on anything specific.

Do it now while you have one, not-yet-crawling baby. Once they start moving, or you have multiple children, plane journeys are a nightmare.

dreamingbohemian · 03/04/2013 09:47

I think you should wait and see how it goes. We were both half-dead from sleep exhaustion when DS was six months. I think you can tell at around 6-8 weeks how things are likely to go (emphasis on likely!)

I'd also think about the Med instead of long haul -- we're really unlucky this year with the weather, it will probaby be better next year. Easter is a lot later next year as well.

(btw why do you want to go for easter if you're not tied to school holidays yet? It will cost a lot more!)

KatAndKit · 03/04/2013 10:03

Of course you can go on holiday with a baby but I wouldn't rush to book right now - see how you go and book something nearer the time.
We went on a city break with our baby when he was just short of 8 months - short haul flight wasn't too much of a problem but he got a cold and dealing with a sleepless poorly baby when all of you are stuck in one hotel room means you can't even take it in turns to sleep.

For a first trip I would think short haul and self catering.

AKissIsNotAContract · 03/04/2013 10:05

I agree with you. I went travelling at 3months old, obviously I can't remember it but it kept my parents sane.

Don't go to Cancun though, there are much nicer parts of Mexico.

Airwalk79 · 03/04/2013 10:13

Eww please don't say it's not gettin a bit warmer in Spain? We're going to Malaga in 5 weeks, can't wait.
Baby will be 8 months old. It's spured me on to lose some weight, I can now fasyen all my holiday clothes yey. Been looking forward to it for ages. Not worried about it at all. Book a holiday if your Abel to afford it.
:-)

Birdsgottafly · 03/04/2013 10:16

I know of a couple with a 4 month old, due to go to Mexico in two months, bf didn't go well and was given up, their baby has turned out to be lactose intolerant, he has just been diagnosed with gastroenteritis, so they are dreading it. It has given them something to stress about, whereas if they were going somewhere with a similar health system/clean water\climate etc to the UK, they would be looking forward to it. Wait until the baby is a couple of months old, to decide, as it can seem easy when they are first born and still sleepy, once they have woken up a bit and things like reflux occur, it can be like someone has swapped your baby in the night.

Birdsgottafly · 03/04/2013 10:19

Also this Easter, where I live has been Chicken Pox and Scarlet fever season, so I wouldn't book it way in advance tbh.

Birdsgottafly · 03/04/2013 10:19

Also this Easter, where I live has been Chicken Pox and Scarlet fever season, so I wouldn't book it way in advance tbh.

melonribena · 03/04/2013 10:27

I've just been on a short haul flight and city break with our just turned 8mth old. We had a great time!

The flight was fine, he actually dozed off during the landing and was chirpy throughout. I wouldn't have liked to have spent much longer on the plane though, it was very cramped and not very comfortable.

I agree that self catering is the way to go. The main issue we had was fitting all of his stuff in our suitcases. I literally had three outfits and a small toiletry bag for myself! (Thank god for a house with a washing machine!)

I'm breastfeeding so could give him a quick feed on the plane. I'm not sure how much formula/ baby food etc you are allowed to take on the plane, but that's definitely a consideration

Marmotte3 · 03/04/2013 10:31

Personally, I think Crete would be a much better compromise. We went to Majorca when DS1 was 8 months, I was breast feeding and the flights were fine. Enjoyed the holiday even though it was mixed weather, we had him in a baby backpack so we got to lots of hiking with him. We rented a small villa there, less restrictive than a hotel. I wouldn't be keen on longer flights with babies/toddlers but that's just me.

EggsEggSplat · 03/04/2013 10:34

I'd say don't book until the baby is a couple of months old, but apart fom that, 6/7 months is the easiest age to do long-haul travel, specially if you are breast feeding.

Admittedly, sitting on a beach for long periods with a baby is unlikely to work, but if you choose a resort-style place with childcare, you might be able to leave the baby with a sitter for an hour or two a day while you swim, have a massage or whatever. I managed to do that on trips to Australia with my two DCs, both at around 4 months, even though they were both bottle-refusers.

I'd also agree that apartment-style resorts are better than hotel rooms.

lottiegarbanzo · 03/04/2013 10:36

Six months is a good time for a holiday, as your baby is fairly portable, probably not yet crawling (mine started on hol at 6.5) and you've had time to get used to them. They might be sleeping well, then again they might not.

Think about feeding. You'll probably be in the early stages of weaning, or could wait til after the hol. We started just before and used it as time when we could both get involved in the process.

And yes, illness happens, so committing lots of money up front is a bad idea.

As for where to go, I'd have thought southern Spain should be warm-ish by then, so for warmer, morocco, canaries, turkey?

babybythesea · 03/04/2013 10:37

Well, we had two holidays in the first year my dd was born.

One down to the south of France when she was 8 months.
We drove for two days to get there. It was fine - we arranged the car so I could hop in the back with ehr if she got fretful. We stopped fairly frequently and stayed in motels for a couple of nights on the way. She wasn't walking anyway so didn't notice that she was confined to the car seat.
It was hot. We stayed in the shade, took a cover for the buggy, lots of suncream, carried loads of water round with us.
We were staying with my parents which helped a bit (they'd hired a house with a pool which was also great for cooling off!) and they told us not to worry paying for the house rent, just money towards food, so the cost didn't really factor too much.

The second one was to new Zealand, as DH is from there and all his family is there and they wanted to meet DD. We went two weeks before she turned one.
That long haul flight wasn't the best - mainly because she had just figured out how to walk and so wasn't content just to sit on our laps but wanted to walk the whole time. It also involved a lot of planning, working out restrictions on fluids etc and which ones did or didn't apply to babies, to ensure we had enough milk and also enough food for her (those squeezy packets of fruit etc were a god send especially on the second leg from Singapore to NZ). My hand luggage shrunk to a book I think which I didn't open anyway. The rest was spare clothes (for me and her - always have spare stuff for you as well as them in case any explosions from whichever orrifice end up covering you!), toys, bottles and cartons of milk, etc etc etc.
It wasn't the best time because of the newly found mobility but we managed. We had one of those cribs that attach to the wall although she was really a bit big for it, but it gave us somewhere to put her that wasn't our laps! We also timed the flights (London to Singapore on the way out, Auckland to Singapore on the way home) to start late at night and kept her going as long as possible that day so that she was tired, and then when we got on the plane she crashed out - that worked quite well and only really made the second leg of the flight a challenge.

It's more than do-able. You just need to plan and organise a bit more than normal!

AThingInYourLife · 03/04/2013 10:44

I think your husband is less wrong than you are.

But really, just wait until nearer the time.

My (Mexican) SIL and I had plans while we were pregnant with our first babies for a trip to Mexico after the babies were born.

We laugh about it now :o

That said, travelling with one baby is quite easy.

But long flights and strong sun will make a holiday unnecessarily difficult.

My main tip would be to go and visit friends. The first few months can be kind of isolating.

LiegeAndLief · 03/04/2013 10:44

I have done the Middle East (so medium haul) several times with the following ages: just a 6 month old, just an 18 month old, an 8 mo and a 3yo, and am here at the moment with a 3 and 6yo. Easiest by far has been this latest trip!

However, if you don't want to wait 3 years, 6mo was fairly easy, especially if bfing. Take a sling and they are easily transportable as well. We had no problem with the heat,just used shade, sun cream and airconditioning.

cantspel · 03/04/2013 11:15

I only valid reason for not traveling on a long haul holiday with a baby is financial.

But if you have the spare money then there is no reason why you shouldn't.

lottiegarbanzo · 03/04/2013 11:29

Wondering what your definition of 'doing something amazing together' is and how active you imagine that holiday to be. You'll be spending a lot of time feeding your baby, one way or another, and won't easily be able to head off for busy day trips. Short excursions form a comfortable base is more like it.

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