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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not expect dh's dr to threaten to stop prescribing his meds?

142 replies

mrssmooth · 03/04/2013 07:16

DH has received 2 letters from doctors surgery, one dated 2 weeks ago and one dated last week. First one from nurse asking him to contact nurse as he missed his INR check/blood test, saying she'd left messages asking him to call. She didn't call our home number, only his mobile. She didn't leave number for him to call her back. DH, being a man, doesn't have the surgery phone number stored on his mobile. I asked him to call surgery after receiving first letter but he forgot - he's been working long hours and away from home (hence missing his appointment).

In second letter, from our dr, dr says he's writing because they've tried to contact him several times. Dr says he remembers dh telling him he often works away from home through the week. He goes on to say he will stop prescribing his medication if he does not make an appointment within the next month as its not safe for him (dr) to prescribe the meds (warfarin). INR clinic is once a week, between 9-5. DH leaves for work at 730, home at 7pm.

(We have recently moved & changed drs. Previous surgery tested dh every 6 weeks, sometimes dh couldn't make the appointment so there were times over past few years where he wasn't tested for 2, maybe 3 months. It was never a problem as his INR is pretty regular now.)

AIBU to think this is a bit out of order (stopping dh's meds)? Yes, i appreciate that the surgery tried to contact dh, but they didn't try our home number - in which case I would have explained and this situation could easily have been avoided.

OP posts:
Freddiemisagreatshag · 03/04/2013 08:54

You need to stop making it your responsibility.

He's a man he doesn't have the number. Wtf?

You organise his meds and repeat scripts. Wtf?

Ring the house not his Mobile so you can explain. Wtf?

They shouldn't be discussing him with you, that would be a breach of confidentiality. So they have to talk to him. And they know he works away and rang his mobile. And wrote. More than once. The doc can't keep prescribing without checking - the doc would be leaving themselves open to a negligence suit if anything went wrong.

He is a big boy. He needs to take responsibility for his own health. And man up and sort it.

How about ... Emmmmmmm .... Get him a phone with Internet? Or can't he use directory enquiries? Or, you know, a phone book?

He has wasted NHL time and resources.

Freddiemisagreatshag · 03/04/2013 08:55

NHS. fat fingers. Plus autocorrect.

mrssmooth · 03/04/2013 08:56

I bloomin hope so Maggie. I guess that's what the letter is aiming for - a kick up the bum to get it sorted. Have to say it did scare me as I've no idea what would happen to him (or at least, I don't want to think about what might happen) if his meds were stopped.

OP posts:
YoothaJoist · 03/04/2013 08:56

Haha, OP you sound like quite a feisty type - good luck. Your husband's health is his problem, you know - you can't make it your own.

Madamecastafiore · 03/04/2013 08:56

So DH dies because Dr prescribes medicine without doing regular regulation checks?

Do you think Drs, nurses and NHS admin have all the time in the world to chase up patients who can't be arsed to ring and book an appointment?

YABVVU!

mrssmooth · 03/04/2013 08:59

No Freddie, I put in the repeat prescriptions. Because I have the time to do it and he doesn't. Docs dont have late night surgeries/weekend surgeries otherwise this situation wouldn't have cropped up!

OP posts:
Madamecastafiore · 03/04/2013 09:00

And FFS are you seriously saying he can't get number when home in the evening and ring on way to/home from work or during lunch break next day to make an appointment?

If he dropped dead tomorrow after being gayley handed out meds that killed him because checks weren't carried out would you be so blasé about it, blaming him being a busy, inept MAN, or would you be on here asking if it is possible that you could sue bastard doctor for not following procedure?

Freddiemisagreatshag · 03/04/2013 09:01

He needs to sort it. Not you.

Can't you see that?

MildDrPepperAddiction · 03/04/2013 09:01

It's a sad state of affairs when that's what a doctor has to do to actually get your/your DHs attention re his meds.

YABVU

mrssmooth · 03/04/2013 09:02

Wow madamec! Am speechless, I really am

OP posts:
Freddiemisagreatshag · 03/04/2013 09:03

Do you actually think a GP should do late night weekend surgeries just to convenience your husband? Your level of entitlement is staggers.

If your hubby is that busy and that important then I suggest he finds a private gp who will charge him plenty but accommodate his oh so busy work schedule.

Madamecastafiore · 03/04/2013 09:06

418000 appointments not attended in nhs in Eastern Region last year. Cost a whopping 43 million spondulies!

mrssmooth · 03/04/2013 09:08

OK. I am fully aware that it DH's health is HIS responsbility. I'm not trying to take responsibility for his health. I asked a question. I got the answers, LOUD and CLEAR. I don't think its appropriate for anyone to start calling my DH entitled/precious/too important/lazy (irresponsible, yes, I agree with that one). However, I understand that that's what happens in most threads in AIBU. Thank you.

OP posts:
WestieMamma · 03/04/2013 09:08

OP if getting to the doctors is such a problem for him, can he not go see a doctor closer to where he works?

sherazade · 03/04/2013 09:09

YABU. no sympathies for anyone who fails to cancel an appointment.

Sirzy · 03/04/2013 09:09

Wow madam that's quite shocking.

I don't understand why people find it so hard to cancel appointments they can't attend.

mrssmooth · 03/04/2013 09:10

oh FFS freddie HOW the hell have you got that idea? Some surgeries in the country do hold late night/early morning/weekend surgeries. I didn't say I expect surgeries to hold them for my dh. Holy moly.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 03/04/2013 09:10

Mrssmoorh it is your posts which have given a very clear picture your husband is like that. Perhaps your head is buried in the sand or your too used to having to do everything for him

macdoodle · 03/04/2013 09:10

Well done for accepting YABU. Not only is your GP doing whats best for your DH, he is also protecting himself.
This has come about because everyone nowadays are so quick to blame and accuse someone of being negligent. I wonder how quick you would be to complain if he didnt have his bloods checked and had a massive bleed and died. I can just see the AIBU now " my GP didnt "bother" to chase my DH up and now he's dead, can I sue/complain/strike them off etc".
And the coroner and GMC would not be happy with the GP either.
Am afraid we have to protect ourselves now as well. My medical protection fees have gone up another 10% this year, and are now only slightly less than my mortgage.

mrssmooth · 03/04/2013 09:11

Westie, I asked him that, there's a hospital round the corner from where he works which has a drop in clinic he used to go to, but because we dont' live in the same borough where he works, he's not allowed to do that unfortunately.

OP posts:
Freddiemisagreatshag · 03/04/2013 09:11

Then stop whining that its their fault because they don'tdo them. If you don't like it, move to a different surgery that will accommodate your needs better.

mrssmooth · 03/04/2013 09:13

What's who's fault Freddie? I'm not actually blaming anyone for anything! Confused

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 03/04/2013 09:14

You are blaming the GP for saying he can't keep prescribing the medication without seeing rour DH.

Freddiemisagreatshag · 03/04/2013 09:15

You said he can't go because they don't do evening weekend apptmts.

So get a different gp. Or a private one. My DP attends a private gp so he can go at night and on the weekends. It costs him £70 a pop though.

Freddiemisagreatshag · 03/04/2013 09:15

Sorry, it would cost him - he has private health insurance.

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