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AIBU?

To not expect dh's dr to threaten to stop prescribing his meds?

142 replies

mrssmooth · 03/04/2013 07:16

DH has received 2 letters from doctors surgery, one dated 2 weeks ago and one dated last week. First one from nurse asking him to contact nurse as he missed his INR check/blood test, saying she'd left messages asking him to call. She didn't call our home number, only his mobile. She didn't leave number for him to call her back. DH, being a man, doesn't have the surgery phone number stored on his mobile. I asked him to call surgery after receiving first letter but he forgot - he's been working long hours and away from home (hence missing his appointment).

In second letter, from our dr, dr says he's writing because they've tried to contact him several times. Dr says he remembers dh telling him he often works away from home through the week. He goes on to say he will stop prescribing his medication if he does not make an appointment within the next month as its not safe for him (dr) to prescribe the meds (warfarin). INR clinic is once a week, between 9-5. DH leaves for work at 730, home at 7pm.

(We have recently moved & changed drs. Previous surgery tested dh every 6 weeks, sometimes dh couldn't make the appointment so there were times over past few years where he wasn't tested for 2, maybe 3 months. It was never a problem as his INR is pretty regular now.)

AIBU to think this is a bit out of order (stopping dh's meds)? Yes, i appreciate that the surgery tried to contact dh, but they didn't try our home number - in which case I would have explained and this situation could easily have been avoided.

OP posts:

Report

BeckAndCall · 03/04/2013 07:43

Not only are you being U you're being stupid too.

His INR can be up or down - so his current dose can be either too high or too low. The dose he is taking right now could be wrong and leaving him in harms way - of course your doctor doesn't want to keep prescribing it - it's as likely what he's taking right now could kill him as it is that taking none could kill him. That's why it's supposed to be checked every week.

drinkyourmilk · 03/04/2013 07:45

It's all to do with legal responsibilities I'm guessing.
Your dh has been stable for years however what if it changes? What if he is given the wrong dosage? It's his gp that would be legally, ethically, and personally responsible.
If your dh had called then the gp would not have to have resorted to scare tactics. It's done now, and it can't be changed.
Your dh just needs to call the surgery today and arrange an appt. He needs to put a monthly appt in his diary. Done.
If he can't make an appt then he needs to call and explain.
Hope everything works out.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 03/04/2013 07:47

If the first letter was two weeks ago about a missed appointment and the GP has told DH to make an appointment within a month, then there is six weeks between checks, isn't there?

What else can the GP do? Seriously?

JakeBullet · 03/04/2013 07:48

his is to do with INR levels. ..they may hardly have changed in three years but occasionally they can swing and meds can need adjustment. The doctor would be negligent to continue prescribing the current dose without an accurate measurement of the INR.

Whether the letter has been worded badly is another issue

Definitely aak if there are other places he cqn go for testing.

nethunsreject · 03/04/2013 07:53

Yabu. And I'm afraid your dh does rather need to take more responsibility for his own health. Busy or not!

noblegiraffe · 03/04/2013 07:54

The doc says action will need to be taken if DH doesn't make an appointment within the next month.

If he ends up stopping the meds then it is entirely your DH's fault for not taking responsibility for his own health. A month! How is that unreasonable?

Tell your DH to stop wasting NHS time and resources btw. Reminders and letters and missed appointments cost the rest of us money.

mrssmooth · 03/04/2013 07:54

Wow beckandcall thanks for that. I'm being stupid. I was asking a question, IABU as I have stated previously. Not necessary for you to be so rude.

Gotta luv an AIBU first thing in morning, that'll teach me ...

OP posts:

ithaka · 03/04/2013 07:55

People who don't turn up for appointments and who don't bother to cancel really annoy me - that is time that could have been used for someone else. It is so selfish.

He is home at 7, so could have googled the number then, phoned and left a message on the answerphone that he wouldn't attend and the slot could have gone to someone else - how hard is that?

You can bet if we didn't have an NHS and you had to pay for private medicine, he wouldn't be missing appointments and ignoring phonecalls and letters.

Your DH is no more busy and important than anyone else in the system and the system would collapse if everyone was as selfish as him.

Sarah919 · 03/04/2013 07:58

Just read your other comment expressing surprise that the GP would threaten to stop prescribing it, as if it's safe for your husband not to take it. It's not safe at all, he would be at risk of blood clots or strokes but that would be his decision to take that risk. Hence all the communication attempts by the practice and the fact they've given a months warning. This is a dangerous drug. The deal is that the GP prescribes it if the patient attends monitoring. If the patient doesn't keep their part of the deal then the GP can't either. The GP is perfectly right to stop prescribing despite the risks this would cause, as long as they've made attempts to get the patient to have their INR checked. They would not be blamed if anything were to happen as a result. They would however be negligent to keep prescribing without an INR if the patient then came to harm.

PoppadomPreach · 03/04/2013 07:59

YABVU

My DH is in same position (different drug). He's out the house similar hours to your DH. He sorts it out though the odd reminder call from surgery is necessary.

Perhaps you have misunderstood/underestimated the potency of these drugs and that is why you are happy for him to continue taking them unmonitored regardless of any serious health implications?

mrssmooth · 03/04/2013 08:01

Jesus he missed an appointment to see the nurse to have his INR checked. The next person in the queue will have taken his place. He didn't miss the appointment deliberately, it was a genuine mistake on his part. He's not selfish, lazy, entitled or any other words you care to throw at him. He's a human being (one who is more than grateful to the NHL after they saved his life!) and he made a mistake!!

OP posts:

Pancakeflipper · 03/04/2013 08:03

Perhaps the Dr thinks if DH cannot be arsed to look after his own health why should we waste time and money chasing him?

Sirzy · 03/04/2013 08:04

Stop looking for other people to blame for your husbands stupidity.

Missed appointments is an inconvenience for the NHS and a waste of their resources. Making them have to write to him twice before he takes action is a waste of resources.

He needs to take responsibility for his own health.

YoothaJoist · 03/04/2013 08:06

OP, I think it was your comment: 'DH, being a man, doesn't have the surgery phone number stored on his mobile' that has set a lot of posters off.

If he's been so ill that he's recently had to have life saving treatment, how about he stopped dicking about and starts to take responsibility, instead of leaving it all to wifey?

EdithWeston · 03/04/2013 08:06

Well, when he realised he'd made a mistake and telephoned to apologise for that he could also have rearranged the appointment.

mrssmooth · 03/04/2013 08:06

Where have I said he "cannot be arsed" to look after his own health ffs? He made a genuine mistake.

OP posts:

Kiriwawa · 03/04/2013 08:06

Surely the surgery number comes up as a missed call on your husband's phone?

I agree with everyone else I'm afraid. If I were in your shoes, the only person I'd be annoyed with would be my husband for being so cavalier with his health and other people's time.

YoothaJoist · 03/04/2013 08:07

Oh, and stop with the 'he can't access the internet' rot. He can - he just tells you he can't so that you'll do all the errands. Wake up.

Sarah919 · 03/04/2013 08:07

If my husband had genuinely forgotten an appt, he would be mortified, phone to apologise and then make a new appt asap. Not then ignore letters, forget to ring them back and not bother to look up the surgery numbef.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 03/04/2013 08:08

Incidentally, as your GP has a note that your DH works away during the week, calling his mobile seems pretty reasonable.

mrssmooth · 03/04/2013 08:09

In what way is he "leaving it all to wifey"? All I was doing was asking a question, dh didn't ask me to ask the question. He knows himself what he's done and what he needs to do, I don't do it for him, he's a grown man.

OP posts:

Sirzy · 03/04/2013 08:10

You aren't saying much to suggest your husband cares about his health he seems to expect everyone else to do things for him and can't even remember a simple appointment

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gymboywalton · 03/04/2013 08:10

my mum has to have her inr checked every 2 weeks. if she doesn't do this her, the medication can kill her.

the medication could kill your husband.

but if you think that is less important than his freedom to miss appointments hen so be it.

gymboywalton · 03/04/2013 08:11

ok-to answer your question in the way you seem to want it answered.

yes you are being unreasonable .

dadofnone · 03/04/2013 08:13

'AIBU?'
'Yes you are!'
'NO I'm not!' (Excuses,excuses)
'You are still BU'

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