To want some people to just stop and think sometimes

[PeneloPeePitstop]

How would you all like to have a life where day in, day out you are judged for existing and for doing your best for your family?

And then told to be grateful for it?

I've met some wonderful people here and I know that the vast majority of posters are decent.

But do some people really think that 'words on a screen' cause at the very worst tears?

Because when your whole life is filled with hatred, verbal and physical attacks then self harm and suicidal thoughts are also par for the course.

Just think about that.

[siblingrivalry]

I'm also in your corner- this kind of thing really upsets me.
I have a dd with ASD. Like most of us, DH and I made plans and thought we knew what our future held.

Fast forward a decade and we have a VERY different life to that which we anticipated: I work part time (and in a badly paid job, because it fits in so well with dd) and dh hasn't been able to pursue his career in the way he expected, because he needs to be around so much more than we planned.

So we live on a very strict budget and, for the forseeable future, see no way out of that. We are always looking for ways to make extra money and we both work really hard, but dd's needs mean that we have very limited options.

Sadly, anyone could find themselves in this situation with no warning whatsoever.
These people who judge us need to walk a mile in our shoes and see how they feel. It disturbs me that there are people in this world so lacking in empathy.

[HerrenaHarridan]

Thank you for starting this thread op.

I backed hurriedly out of the other one and all I can say is I fucking hope it's trolls because otherwise it's nazis and seriously scary.

I want to thank YouTheCat and others who were saying about the feelings associated with filling out dla forms for a child. I just can't do it, I can't, I've tried, ordered them everything but I just can't fucking do it.

On a lighter note to paradise for slating worra, I don't stalk her tbf but I've never seen her tear strips out of anyone and she's given me good advice in the past. So, what did she pull your pigtails or summat?

[YouTheCat]

Is Paradise the same person who started up a vile thread of hate about Worra not so long ago?

And you're welcome, Herrena. I must admit I was lucky with the last time I had to fill in ds's DLA forms as I had a lovely woman from Welfare Rights help me. I suspect, those jobs have been cut though so not sure how easy it would be to get help now. She was very understanding and helped me gather all the relevant information and gave outstanding advice.

[blueballoon79]

PeneloPeePitstop I'm so glad you started this thread.
I've lurked on some of the benefits threads and on others I've commented but the replies I've had, have in a lot of cases left me feeling devastated.

I'm a single mother to two disabled children. My sons father died and my daughters father walked out on me when she was only 10 months old claiming "he couldn't cope".

After he walked out I had to go onto benefits.

I can't fucking cope either. I have severe depression, I feel lonely and isolated and if it wasn't for the sheer amount of love I feel towards my children I'd be tempted to walk.

My life is unbelievably shit. I want to work, I want to have a career and a life but due to the needs of my children it's impossible.

In really bleak moments I've wished I never had them.

The hatred nowadays towards people like me is intense. I feel ashamed of myself and my situation and I have NO WAY of changing it. I'd love to get a job, I'd love to get off benefits, but who's going to attend to my childrens needs whilst I'm working? Who's going to care for them after the major surgery they've both had and will continue to have?

I've heard similar to you also that disabled children should be euthanised and it breaks my heart. How can anybody, ANYBODY say something like that about my beautiful children who I fiercely adore with all my heart?

It makes me feel suicidal too. It makes me feel no hope. I had no hope to start with but now my children and I are hated too. It's unbearable. I hate my life right now.

[lottieandmia]

Which thread have people been saying disabled people should be euthanised on? Anyone who says that is scum and their opinion not even worth considering.

[HerrenaHarridan]

Oh blueballon, I'm sorry you feel so bad. I know it's really hard knowing there is no end in sight and its so hard to get out and make friends and meet people when every second of everyday is accounted for and when you do get a min you sleep!

Do you have any rl support? Are there support groups in your area? I can help you find some if you like.

Re the worra hate thread, that was brilliant though
Op: Aibu to think worra is a cunt?
All: yabu and a cunt
Worra: ha ha, I'm off to shag dp

[blueballoon79]

herrena I have a lot of friends and family who help out as and when they can but they're often busy with their own lives and a lot of them are working too. So I'm often alone and due to lack of finances and my childrens needs, it's very hard to get out and about.

I'd just love to have my own career so I could get out in the day and have a break from the children.

I am however feeling a lot happier today thanks! I've woken up to beautiful sunshine and that alone makes a huge difference!

lottieandmia I agree that they're scum, but on a bad day it can make you feel dreadful reading comments like that and it's very hard to just ignore.

[skinoncustard]

Some people are incapable of empathy. My husband was made redundant after workng non stop for 40 years . He had to fight for the basic government redundancy payment, no money for three months. Fortunately we had savings , mortgage paid off and children grown and flown the nest but not a nice experience at all. God help people with young children and mortgages etc. Those in a better place should perhaps give a moments thought for those who find themselves in a bad place . ' There for the grace of God go I ' Take care OP , we are not all uncaring . X

[lottieandmia]

blueballoon - I totally agree. It is very upsetting. One thing I do know is that some of the comments made on the other thread weren't made by people who even vote for the current government we have but for, er something else quite horrid. Their views are by no means representative of most people in the UK if you see what I mean.

[PeneloPeePitstop]

Definitely time for another bump.

[poppypebble]

With the fear of invoking Godwin's law, it is terrifying me how some people can actually believe what they claim to believe. Anti-Semitism on the rise, disablist comments/actions on the rise, the growing belief that there is an group of 'parasites' who are to blame for the country's economic problems...

[IThinkIFailed]

PPP and the others who make a stand against the benefits bashing -

Please be proud of what you do and the fact that you tackle this instead of being too weak to say anything and instead name changing to start a self indulgent whiny thread and crying all fucking day over it all.
You're strong and you're wonderful and you have my gratitude.

[YellowandGreenandRedandBlue]

Oh blueballoon I am sorry it is so hard sometimes. Your post just made me cry.

Please don't feel ashamed of your situation.

I feel so saddened at all the unkindness. The only thing that keeps me sane is I truly believe that living with a narrow mind and a hard heart is no fun at all, really. I think those who say unkind things must be hurting a lot on some level.

[ihategeorgeosborne]

I really can't understand why some people are so certain that none of these things will ever happen to them. When I was a child, my mother became terminally ill and my dad had to give up his job to look after her and my physically and mentally handicapped sister. I remember being bullied at school by some unsavory characters because my parents were 'unemployed'. My mum was dying FFS. I am eternally grateful that that safety net was there for our family or I have no idea what would have happened to us. Life is hard enough when you have a serious illness. I am truly worried about the future of this country

[PeneloPeePitstop]

They have things like insurance *insert smug tone for italicised.

Yup, so did I. Good job, homeowner, savings.

But no, it'll never be them.

[RubyrooUK]

Ah, I just came back to this thread and read your comment BlueBalloon.

I am so sorry you feel so crap. I have enormous respect for you coping in a very difficult situation. And when you talk about your children, you sound like such a fiercely loving mum.

As I mentioned before, I was brought up by a mum on incapacity benefit and she is a brilliant human being. I would never be ashamed of her. I am extra proud of her for dealing with the difficult life that hand dealt her.

In the same way, I am sure you are wonderful and bring lots of joy to your children, family and friends. Human beings cannot be measured in terms of "benefits". Please don't think that everyone has no ability to empathise. I appreciate that anyone can have hard times and need support.

Please accept a virtual hug.

[YellowandGreenandRedandBlue]

I think there are many people who cope with the random harshness of life by convincing themselves good things happen to good people and vice versa.

Some people suppress feelings of guilt at their relative good fortune by convincing themselves they must deserve it, therefore those who are in less fortunate circumstances must have done something wrong.

'There but for the grace of god' is scary because it means accepting all we have is chance really. Yes, planning and sense helps, but luck is a huge player in all our lives. I think some people just can't handle the randomness of it all.

That is why so many people get really angry when convicted criminals win the lottery - because life should be like fairy stories where goodies win and baddies lose!

[ihategeorgeosborne]

I know it's hard, but you just have to ignore them and believe that most people don't think like that I have to say that I avoid those threads now as they make me really upset and I think that the nasty posters must be really devoid of emotion. Some of them sound really cold and bitter and I just don't want to waste my time trying to converse with them.

[Pigsmummy]

Stop worrying about what is "said" on here and anywhere else that isn't the real world. Agent Zigzag said it very well in the very first response to your message. Have some time offline, focus on your family, what good are doing to your loved ones getting so upset by "people" on here. I am not dissing this or any other site but you are getting hurt/damaged by your online interactions and for what gain?

[PeneloPeePitstop]

I know. But when you have people criminally damaging your property and get real life verbal and physical abuse, including from friends you've known all your life and your siblings it puts you in a pretty poor mental state.

We all know we behave differently when our mental health is suffering. Once again I'm back under my CMHT.

I like to give all the venom I wish to blast out at those abusing me and my family out to ignoramuses on here. Doesn't always work though, often the hate and loathing I turn back on myself.

[grovel]

Good luck, OP. I'm on your side.

FWIW, I think you should be grateful that you live in a society which values your life. Hundreds of millions don't. You are as important as anyone. You shouldn't feel grateful to individuals.

[PeneloPeePitstop]

Pigs I resent online comments restricting my rare interaction with other people yet further I suppose. My social contact gets restricted as it is because of my kids' needs.

[grovel]

Sorry, hundreds of millions of people live lives which are not valued.

[PeneloPeePitstop]

Real life is pretty nasty at the moment too. Nowhere to escape to then I guess.

[wewantyouasanewrecruit]

I am so sorry PPP and blueballoon. You have made me feel ashamed of the things I moan about. I feel frightened, at the moment, at the way our attitudes are changing and the kind of hatred you talk about is being normalised.