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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give my son two birthdays?

78 replies

GirlWiththeLionHeart · 02/04/2013 12:15

My son was born on Christmas Day :) was lovely and special for us and our families, but I do feel sorry for the little bugger as he won't ever have a party on his actual birthday with school friends when he's older. Plus he will probably only get one present a year from people.

Me and dh were discussing giving him another birthday in June so he can have a party and presents etc but we would still do something as a family for him on Christmas Day. Would this be doable?

OP posts:
pooka · 02/04/2013 15:39

I think that you can still have a party, but have it at the end of term or just after the Christmas holidays.

My dcs have summer holiday birthdays, and we usually try and arrange birthday parties for before schools break up for summer holidays (dd is late July) or for the first week back at school (ds1 and2 are beginning of September). Otherwise everyone is away.

Dliberately choosing a summer birthday date for a Christmas born dc in order to have a party seems odd to me. They are 4,5,6 or whatever in the month of December. So go for a December/January party. And still celebrate birthday on Christmas day, but maybe as others do, in the morning or afternoon. Or boxing day? Can't see how an arbitrarily chosen date in midsummer will be special given how distant it will be from the actual birthday.

mumvswild · 02/04/2013 15:40

My DS is born 27th Dec so we do his birthday on the first weekend in December. It is close enough to his birthday to seem right. It is all about him all day. Everyone is gearing up for Christmas Day but not yet totally consumed or overwhelmed by it. Kids are not yet on holidays so party invites work.. Christmas Day can then be about Christmas Day. Yay for DS, a second round!
Everyone starting to get into the Christmas spirit so a good time for a party too I think. Hth. .

Original poster
GirlWiththeLionHeart · 02/04/2013 15:41

But no one will be available to come round for tea on Christmas Day :( that's the whole point. I don't mean a massive party anyway but a party none the less

OP posts:
pooka · 02/04/2013 15:41

I used to ask for joint Christmas and birthday presents if what I wanted was too expensive for one or the other - and my birthday is in June!

Original poster
GirlWiththeLionHeart · 02/04/2013 15:42

Thanks pooka and mumvswild I think we will do that, makes more sense

OP posts:
pooka · 02/04/2013 15:44

So you have a friends birthday tea a week before or after, or whenever most people are available. Family birthday tea on the actual day. Or boxing day.

And when he is at school you may end up having birthday party after school goes back in early January, or before they break up on around 20th December.
Both times would be close enough to the actual day to be special.

Dd has had a party about 2 weeks before her birthday when she was having a jointparty with a couple of friends (expensive - so we shared the cost). She didn't mind.

pooka · 02/04/2013 15:45

X-post. :)

NicholasTeakozy · 02/04/2013 15:51

HM The Q has two birthdays. Wink

MushroomSoup · 02/04/2013 15:58

My DD has a party the weekend before or after. It's never been an issue. Most kids don't have a party on their actual birthday, do they?
I must admit my day works (and I'm glad you like it!) because the family make sure DD has proper cards and presents (wrapped in birthday paper). We make sure she gets the same spent on her as the other DCs would on a birthday as well as the same for Xmas. All the relatives treat it as separate. We've always kept it separate but she knows she could always request one large present instead should she wish to!

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 02/04/2013 16:03

I think the important thing is to plan something, whatever it is, and show your child that you are thinking of their special day. DH's birthday is New Year's Day. He was at boarding school a long way away from his home, so a) never had a birthday party and b) didn't get the recognition at school either (at his school kids would have a cake to share with the class on their birthday). His mum made him a cake etc and he had a celebration with his family, but he never had that birthday party experience. I think that making sure your child gets a party with friends is important, whether you do it in early Dec/Jan or in the summer.

Lilipaddle · 02/04/2013 16:13

My DD has "2 birthdays" (basically 2 reasons to have cake, not proper 'everyone involved/out of family' birthdays) As she was 10 weeks early, so we do her birthday on her birth date, and then on her due date have a little cake and small present/treat.

Theres no real reason for this other than habit, but I don't see why 2 'birthdays' is unreasonable, especially when his other birthday is somewhat overtaken by christmas. Maybe a bit closer to the time would make more sense/be more relevant though? Say 2-3 weeks later, or on his due date if it was a few weeks before/after?
Though June would work fine too, just seems slightly random!! [busmile]

Snazzynewyear · 02/04/2013 16:13

I wouldn't pick January personally as a) it's still very close to Christmas and means all present receiving is bunched up in the year b) everyone is skint c) very few places are open if you want to go there for a special day out - many theme parks, places like Cadbury World etc all close at this time of year, and weather won't permit an outdoor party.

Personally, I like the summer idea. I know someone in this position who uses 25th June for this purpose, but I can see there are other issues with that for you. If you are going to do it near the actual date, I would go for earlier in December - then you get the excitement of Christmas preparation as a bonus, and the birthday isn't an afterthought that occurs in the 'downtime' after Christmas.

Milliways · 02/04/2013 16:26

My friend celebrated her Christmas DS's birthday on his Christening day (in May).

dolallylass · 02/04/2013 16:29

It's a great idea. Start it early and it will become the norm. Any amount of extra partying is always a good thing IMO.

MortifiedAdams · 02/04/2013 16:29

Sorry but I think a half-birthday os beyond daft.

DDs birthday is 19th dec and it would.never occur to me to have jer birthday party in the summer.

Why not do it the first Saturday.mornig they break up for Xmas? Surely all the other parents would relish a few hours to go.and buy last minute gifts or wrap their dcs presents?

ExcuseTypos · 02/04/2013 16:38

Is not necessarily daft mortified if the child wants an outdoor type of party. Camping, picnics, theme parks etc aren't particularly enjoyable in December.

Belugagrad · 02/04/2013 16:44

I'm with mortified, lots people have winter birthdays and get over it. I think a party the week before or after is better than summer.

Original poster
GirlWiththeLionHeart · 02/04/2013 16:46

Mortified, my ds' birthday is Christmas Day, not the 19th! Very different! So it's no surprise you wouldn't do a half birthday

OP posts:
MortifiedAdams · 02/04/2013 16:47

Confused they are within a week of each other.

rootypig · 02/04/2013 16:47

I think it's a lovely idea OP.

I have a good friend who is Czech and there their 'name' day is much more important than their birthday. maybe he has a name day in another culture?

ExcuseTypos · 02/04/2013 16:49

Yes mortified, but the 19th isn't the biggest day of the year when everyone else gets presents.

Floggingmolly · 02/04/2013 16:53

Two weeks either side of his actual birthday would be fine; 6 months later wouldn't work for me, tbh.

Original poster
GirlWiththeLionHeart · 02/04/2013 16:56

Thank you typos my point entirely.

As I said up thread we will probably go with early December or January for a party and do what mushroom does on the actual day :)

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 02/04/2013 16:59

Camping, picnics, theme parks, etc aren't particularly enjoyable in December
Confused. Millions of people are born in the winter, two of my own children are; they've never had a birthday picnic and they're perfectly fine with that...
You can't control everything.

ExcuseTypos · 02/04/2013 17:04

I agree Flogging.

But if the child wants to experience this type of party instead of doing something on their birthday, then why not let themConfused

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