Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to put my cats out :(

78 replies

macdoodle · 01/04/2013 13:26

DD2 age 5 has a friend over for a play date, also 5. Both lovely little girls.
The friend however seems terrified of cats, not mentioned to me by her mum.
I have 2 cats, one old boy who is almost 15 and just sits his days out on his blanket on the back of the settee, he rarely moves. The other young boy about 2 but calm and sweet natured.
Friend would not budge from where she was sat terrified on the other settee. She is usually a lovely outgoing little girl.
So I've had to take them both downstairs where its cold with no people, they are both sociable cats and like to be near their people :(
Everytime someone open the door, the friend jumps terrified onto the sofa.
So I guess the cats are banished for the day, but cant help being a little annoyed and sad.
We did try lots of reassurance and trying to get her to pet them first with no luck.

OP posts:
Lucyellensmum95 · 01/04/2013 13:31

Just put the cats out, they will hve a great time

Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2013 13:33

That would really annoy me. What does the girl think the cats are going to do to her?

Original poster
macdoodle · 01/04/2013 13:34

Who the cats or the children Hmm
The children are playing lovely, the cats are not happy :(

OP posts:
Original poster
macdoodle · 01/04/2013 13:36

Considering my old boy hadn't even acknowledged her existence, and was sleeping in his usual spot, I have no idea what she thought he was going to do.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2013 13:36

Poor cats. Sad Your old boy is in his 80s in human years.

StuntGirl · 01/04/2013 13:37

Unless the cats are in distress I would put downstairs. It won't kill them.

You say the mum didn't mention her daughters fear, did you tell the other mum you had cats?

Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2013 13:37

Nice of the Mum not to mention it. I would be texting her asking if there is a reason her DD is terrified of the cats.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali · 01/04/2013 13:37

I wouldn't pander to her. If you put them out then she's being taught that cats are scarey and should be feared.

Let the cats wander about and let her get used to them.

[busmile]

Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2013 13:39

That's how I feel MrsR but I have a feeling people will be along to say that is not the right thing to do.

Original poster
macdoodle · 01/04/2013 13:40

The cats aren't distressed just not very happy. I did try to allow them to wander about (old boy doesn't really wander just sits) but poor child was actually distressed. So had to go with human distress trumps animal sadness!

OP posts:
OHforDUCKScake · 01/04/2013 13:40

She's 5.

A very young scared girl.

They are cats.

Get some perspective.

Original poster
macdoodle · 01/04/2013 13:41

Am annoyed though have just gone down to pet and give them a treat, old boy is looking very peeved with me, just like an old man in his 80's usurped from his favourite chair for a guest.

OP posts:
Original poster
macdoodle · 01/04/2013 13:42

OH, yes I have prioritised a little girl who is a guest (obviously) but can't help being irritated. Is that BU?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2013 13:42

Perhaps she has had some awful experience with cats. She wouldn't be like that for no reason surely? i would have thought most 5 year old girls would love a squeeze of a cat/furry small animal.

bishboschone · 01/04/2013 13:43

I have 3 cats and have had dc over who are scared .. I just tell them to ignore the cats .. Screaming is ridiculous and I would tell child to shut up to be honest . ( not very helpful)

Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2013 13:44

Perhaps the parents are very anti-pets and have told their DD they are awful and dirty/poo in the garden etc.

Original poster
macdoodle · 01/04/2013 13:44

Ahh I feel a little mean, she wasn't screaming to be fair. Just curled up on the settee unwilling to budge if the cats were in the room. Asked her why or what she was scared of, she can't or won't say, will ask her mum when I drop her off.
Cats will survive.

OP posts:
dancemom · 01/04/2013 13:47

My dd is 7 and VERY scared of pets

I always ask before she goes for a playdate if the family have any pets and make them aware she will not go if they do.

Maggie111 · 01/04/2013 13:47

I have a cat and if someone isn't a fan he can be put in a room on his own for a while without bother. It's not like you're kicking them out of the house!

A whole day is a pain though.

CajaDeLaMemoria · 01/04/2013 13:47

Would she be interested in stroking one of the cats on your lap? Or offering them a treat? Or helping make their dinner?

You might be able to involve her and lessen her fear. Start with your calmest cat, and get your daughter involved to make it exciting.

TSSDNCOP · 01/04/2013 13:49

She is afraid of cats.

Swap "cat" for "tarantula" and I'd be a gibbering, twitching mess. In fact, I'd have refused the invite in the first place.

If you are scared of something, you're scared. Irrelevant what you're scared of.

Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2013 13:49

Where did the fear come from dance? Genuine question-just interested. DS1 had a friend who was terrified, but his Mum didn't know where it started or why.

ChippingInIsEggceptional · 01/04/2013 13:50

Can't you put the cats in your warmer bedroom or something - or bring the cats into the sitting room and sent the kids to play in the bedroom?

She needs to be around cats like your two to learn they wont hurt her though, so maybe it's something you need to rethink/discuss with her Mum if she comes again.

I wonder if she was attacked by a cat when walking past one or when petting one? But even so... CATS?

NynaevesSister · 01/04/2013 13:50

Ah well, had a lad like that who freaked at anything furry - cats, rabbits, guinea pigs. No reason for it and his brother not the same. When he came over he would sob at the sight of the cat. I didn't push the cat out of the way but would pick him up and stroke him so the cat was happy but contained. After a few visits the boy got over it and was fine.

Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2013 13:50

I see what you are saying TSS but it's fairly easy to avoid tarantulas. Cats are everywhere and a part of life really.