How often do you change your pants?

[Salmotrutta]

By popular request.

I have a clipboard.

And a pencil.

Every day here.

Clit bang, bang and the druff is gone :o

I am Sister Katie Immaculata

Am laughing a big LOT!!!!!!!

How do I explain this one to DH who is wondering why I just snotted my wine all over my spanky red sofa!?!?

Am having images of sootikins raining down the chimney and a rabbit prancing amongst the debris.

This undergarment will keep the sootikins away and will ensure that your foof is maintance free

How about Viakal? It's the Viakal fizz that does the bizz.

Why do t I have a spanky sofa? Same reason I don't put sexy time knickers on everyday between 7 and 11 pm

Oh FGS, I'm trying to wedge beef curtains in here somehow, can't find a way

'Various colours' too, so you could have days-of-the-week ones

You better say ten hail Mary's then Katie for even reading this thread

Well that's what happens when you try to wear things in your twenties and the gusset cuts into them giving you some sort of wedged beef curtains, and swag n tails.

Camel toe is a thing isn't it

What the fuck are the beads for? Do I want to know???

Yes Katie run away before we corrupt your innocent mind even more

FYI pacif I have just started to build my knicker drawer back up after maternity buckets as they ve long outstayed their welcome. M n s have three for £10 I'm buying three pairs per month .

Trying to get bra fitting in to.

A spanky sofa???

What the actual hell??

I'm praying for you

Hourly.

Well they not fanny beads checkpoint, that Luke be love eggs.

Ahem, actually you use the beads to count out your hail Mary's mas you say them. Me thinks, but nothing to do with down there's.

Good on you Feeling.

It autocorrected to spunky sofa salmo that would have been so much worse.

What I would like to know, why oh why do I post on threads like this??

I am a middle-aged woman, mother of 4, professional job. I play the piano FFS!

Why do feel the need to post even an ironic post on a thread like this?
Needy, moi?

Thanks for the laughs, ladees, I am of to change in to my PJ pants (no sexitime tonight, MiL in da house)

Feeling, Debenhams are better for bra fitting, I went from waist-boobs to chest ones.

Generally only on February 29th.

Err, that was to the buying of M&S pants.

Not the next bit about beads.

Viacal btw would burn, burn you a new arshole actually spark, so no. It's too alkaline. Right, wonders if sparks can be trusted in a cleaning aisle again.

I need more than a prayer Katie
I need divine intervention!

Mumsnet has well and truly corrupted me, I used to be so innocent and shy!