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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think its rude to order a starter if nobody else is?

131 replies

Iactuallydothinkso · 31/03/2013 11:36

Well, mn jury. Is it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Iactuallydothinkso · 31/03/2013 11:47

Nah number lock, it was all divided up between the amount of people. Wasn't worried about that, nobody was.

OP posts:
wankerchief · 31/03/2013 11:49

I would of ordered one too and if you all looked impatiently at me I would of eaten reeeaaallyyyyy sloooowwwllly [bugrin]

I rarely go out for dinner so I like to make the most of it

Booyhoo · 31/03/2013 11:49

well if 3 out of a group of 6 order a starter, the other 3 still have to wait fo r their mains but does that make the startees rude? if 9 out of a group of 10 order starters making 1 person wait for mains are all 9 rude?

trixymalixy · 31/03/2013 11:49

Why didn't you ask for your main courses to be brought at the same time as the starter then?

heronsfly · 31/03/2013 11:52

I always have a starter but no pudding,I wouldn't expect others to go without pudding, so no I don't think its rude.

BrunellaPommelhorse · 31/03/2013 11:53

no, i wouldnt though

BrunellaPommelhorse · 31/03/2013 11:53

its polite to not be starving at a meal, eat a little before you go out

complexnumber · 31/03/2013 11:54

Ooh! In the day there weren't many that would get between me and a Berni Inn pate starter (with extra toast please).

And then a steak (medium please) and jacket potato (extra butter please).

And a bottle of your cheapest red wine (please)

Fantastic!

RegularVoltaire · 31/03/2013 11:54

Its not rude at all Confused

sannaville · 31/03/2013 11:55

I have,starter but no dessert but I order starter to come with my main

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 31/03/2013 11:56

Starters are for greedy piggies.

JudithOfThePascha · 31/03/2013 11:56

Inconsiderate? Annoying? Those are quite strong words for someone ordering a starter when the rest of you didn't.

I have to say, I do think you are being quite unfair. If everyone had ordered starters but you, would they all be rude? Why should anyone not order a starter just because you're hungry but don't want a starter?

kinkyfuckery · 31/03/2013 11:56

If you were that bloody hungry, why didn't you order a starter, rather than wait?

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs · 31/03/2013 11:59

YABU.

Lots of people prefer a starter to a dessert. Half of my family do.

So, some wait around eating nothing at the start of the meal while others eat a starter, and some wait around eating nothing while others eat a dessert. OK the meal takes longer - but that's more time to talk and enjoy the evening and company, surely?

Why should the person who wants a starter but not a dessert ONLY have a main just because the others want a dessert. Surely you cater for all your friends likes, not just dictate that because everyone else doesn't want a starter, that person can't have one either?

And some people thinking of my DS1 here who eats for England want a starter, main AND dessert...

Nothing wrong with that either, as long as I'm not paying!

Sirzy · 31/03/2013 12:00

As an adult why can't you wait? Why should others not have what they want because you are impatient?

IsaacCox · 31/03/2013 12:02

Erm no, it's not ruda at all. YABU.

StuntGirl · 31/03/2013 12:02

Don't be silly. Do you find it equally rude when people order coffee or desserts after the main meal?

Groovee · 31/03/2013 12:02

I want a starter over a pudding. I'd find it rude if you pulled me up for it.

Original poster
Iactuallydothinkso · 31/03/2013 12:03

I guess I was unreasonable then!

It's just something I wouldn't do because I think it's rude and its difficult I guess to think others aren't rude when they do it.

I should probably relax a bit more and yes, not be sooooo hungry when I go out.

OP posts:
BooCanary · 31/03/2013 12:03

I hate it that quite often (especially when out with a group of women only) there are clearly those who want a starter and those who don't, and the ones that do have to pretend they don't (IYSWIM) so as not to appear rude or greedy. And then quite often the people that didn't want a starter go on to have a dessert.

SO annoying, the starter is my favourite. That's the benefit of going for a meal with my DH - he always has all three courses and encourages me to do the same!

Tbh, the people who don't want a starter, and feel that they must exclaim loudly 'oh god no, I could NEVER eat a starter and a main, I'd be far too full' are very rude IMO.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 31/03/2013 12:04

Rude? Good gods - I'm an adult and I'll have what I damn well want if I go out! How very odd...

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 31/03/2013 12:04

Crossed posts. You see yabu now, so I will forgive you. Wink

aldiwhore · 31/03/2013 12:06

If the startee was rude then you were rude too, for having a dessert when the startee had long finished eating?

Meh.

YABU but you know that don't you? Stop being so considerate... have a starter if you want one from now on! (I'm a starter and dessert, no main, sort of person, so I'm probably the most U of everyone... and I pay in exact change including tip).

Original poster
Iactuallydothinkso · 31/03/2013 12:07

Cheers Remus!

I didn't want 3 courses because it was lunch and I was being fed by others later so I didn't want to eat too much. It is just me because I was so hungry, I didn't really want to wait.

I shall not hold it against the startee then.

OP posts:
N0tinmylife · 31/03/2013 12:10

It does seem a bit rude. Whenever I go out to dinner with a group of people there usually seems to be a conversation at the start of the meal about whether we are having starters. Usually about half of the group do, but I certainly wouldn't have one if it was only me who wanted one. That said, I would feel sorry for the person who wanted a starter being deprived! I would have thought asking for the starter to be brought with the mains would be the perfect compromise and keep everyone happy!

I don't understand this idea of not going out too hungry, surely if you are going out to dinner you want to be hungry to enjoy the meal. Seems a little pointless eating first!