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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

teens when they dont want to do what you do!!

41 replies

happygolucky0 · 31/03/2013 09:48

I brought Merlin passes for myself and my son last year. We used them last Easter and not again since. I wanted to get some more use out of them before they expire on the 8th April. I now have 3 days off and was thinking of staying in London with ds for a couple of nights. However he doesn't want to go.
Ds in 15 and a half.
A friend says leave him and go anyway. I am a lone parent so it would mean me going alone and him staying here alone. I don't really want to stay in doors for the next 3 days while he sits in front of screens.
I see there is 3 options stay home. Go and tell him he has to come (then maybe put up with him being stroppy). Or go for the day or two and leave overnight. I live abit far to just go for the day.
Ideas please?

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 31/03/2013 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
happygolucky0 · 31/03/2013 10:21

Thanks for your reply. I would be quite expensive to take a friend. I was thinking of doing London Eye, Sea life and Madame T day one then Thorpe Park or Chessington day two. The only friend he would want to take would be his girlfriend which I would then have to get an extra room.
Good idea on doing something local today. Do you mean taking him on day two to London?

OP posts:
comfysofas · 31/03/2013 10:51

Did you not discuss with him before you bought the passes what he would be interested in?

LindyHemming · 31/03/2013 10:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CuppaTea83 · 31/03/2013 11:04

Hmm, I would insist on him going with me.

But then, mine aren't teens yet! Grin

I can't imagine turning down a fun day out, even as a teen! Shock

Original poster
happygolucky0 · 31/03/2013 11:18

He was very keen for me to buy them a year ago. He wants to go to Alton Towers instead of London but it is too far and will cost loads in fuel. Don't know if not going to London is a kind of I can't have my own way so you cant have yours statement.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 31/03/2013 11:28

I can understand why a boy of that age doesn't want to do the things you're suggesting in London ! Surely the cost of the fuel to Alton Towers would be less than a hotel for a London stay? I have a son (20) and it was about 14/15 when he became very picky about what he would or wouldn't come to ,its normal . BTW Madame Tussaauds is rubbish at any age .

wibblyjelly · 31/03/2013 11:29

Not sure if it will help, but I think with a merlin pass, anyone extra you bring gets a discount as well. Will that helping he wants to bring someone with you?

livinginwonderland · 31/03/2013 11:33

to be honest, i don't blame him for not wanting to go to madame tussauds or the london eye, and aside from the penguins, sea life in london is really overrated. i wouldn't have wanted to do those things at fifteen.

orangeandlemons · 31/03/2013 11:36

I wouldn't either. Teens like to lurk in their rooms doing teen stuff at holiday time...or revising for Gcse's. < hollow laugh as don't recollect ds doing much revision>

CuppaTea83 · 31/03/2013 11:36
Shock I think I was obviously very easily pleased as a teenager. Grin
Original poster
happygolucky0 · 31/03/2013 11:44

It is just a long drive 4 to 5 hours each way to Alton Towers around £80 in fuel. Too much for a day or even two days. I have fibromyalgia so wouldn't cope with that drive on top of walking around a park in a day or two.
I was never offered days out like that as a teenager I was at work!! Would of been nice. Anyway we live and learn, wont be buying him another pass.

OP posts:
A1980 · 31/03/2013 11:50

Make him go. if he wants to go to alton towers then he will enjoy Thorpe park....

moonabove · 31/03/2013 11:52

That's the trouble cuppatea, that's what catches parents of teens out - you think something's a fun idea and just the sort of thing they used to love but they have gone past all that.

It's difficult to adjust, in fact it's a constant process of adjustment! Still you'll find all that out in time...(evil Grin)

Could you still go to Thorpe park/Chessington OP? It's important to keep doing something together I think, however much you have to compromise.

greenfolder · 31/03/2013 11:54

My dd was about the same age when we let her stay at home for the weekend alone.

Original poster
happygolucky0 · 31/03/2013 12:21

ok I am going to work on Chessington or Thorpe for tomorrow thanks all

OP posts:
IloveJudgeJudy · 31/03/2013 12:23

I think you should make him go! We have three teens and I would make them. I would sit him down and explain that you got the passes because he asked you to and you would like to spend some fun time with him, just the two of you. I'm sure once you got to wherever, you would both have fun. He doesn't get to decide everything he does. No-one gets to decide everything. There are duty calls on everyone's time.

lljkk · 31/03/2013 12:24

I feel your pain, OP. I have so BTDT.

DH has unexpected 2 weeks off for Easter & we were saying we could literally jet away somewhere, into the Sun (the SUN!!), but can't bear the fact DC would just moan the whole time we were away.

Planning a big trip next year to see extended family, various adventures (DC all claim to be super enthusiastic, right NOW), & bracing myself for 3 weeks of whinging while actually there.

This is part of why we never go on hols.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 31/03/2013 12:27

A day in London with a friend and doing less of the expensive stuff would be better. In fact, you could dump them for a couple of hours somewhere and do something yourself, and then meet up for a late lunch maybe?

I deffo wouldn't leave him alone but can understand why he's not terribly excited about a London trip with just his mum, and I don't know any teens who'd be excited by the Sea Life Centre tbh, sorry.

CuppaTea83 · 31/03/2013 12:28

Can I just ask those with kids who hate going on these days out/ foreign holidays etc, have they had the good fortune to go on days out and holiday many times throughout their childhood?

I wonder if it's because I very rarely (mainly financial constraints) went anywhere and never went abroad as a kid. So I would have been very grateful for it.

Floralnomad · 31/03/2013 12:44

I think Thorpe Park is way better for that age group , actually better than Alton Towers ,Chessington is more for children . cuppa I must admit my children had Merlin Passes from a very young age and from being big enough to sit up were regulars at all the theme parks . Infact my mum blames my sons partial deafness on me taking him on roller coasters as a toddler ! ( that's rubbish BTW) . We've always done Disneyland Paris a few times a year as well as Florida a few times . By the time my son was 14 he was pretty much theme parked out IYSWIM . We also live fairly close to London so going there is no biggie either .

onefewernow · 31/03/2013 12:54

Bless him.

Mine like to sit in the house, play Xbox, talk to their mates, laugh hysterically late at night with each other in the kitchen.

They hate to go anywhere as a family.

It's just teens, and girlfriends definitely add to it, because of course you can't compete with that sort of fun and quite right too.

We live in the country , which they profess to hate. But given a choice of a week anywhere expensive and exciting or a day in a field with other teens, preferably of both sexes, and that, which do you think they prefer?

moonabove · 31/03/2013 12:58

No cuppa my ds (13) hasn't been on a lot of holidays at all due to constant lack of funds - mostly caravan/camping hols in the uk which, when he was younger he enjoyed a lot.

Last year we went camping and he was just completely at a loose end, felt awkward and out of sorts the whole time. I was torn between being annoyed with him for spoiling the holiday and being sympathetic for the fact that he clearly wasn't doing it on purpose. This year we aren't going to bother going anywhere in summer and I am trying to save to go to the USA next year - now that he will enjoy!

lljkk · 31/03/2013 13:17

have they had the good fortune to go on days out and holiday many times throughout their childhood?

How do you define "many times"?

Original poster
happygolucky0 · 31/03/2013 14:34

still not getting anywhere so am going give up. Says he just wants to chill. Gosh this teen thing is hard work sometimes. I don't want to put a spanner in the works moonabove but ds still managed to be moody at Disney in the States last year! I can remember saying this is meant to be the happiest place on earth and you are grumpy!
Think I am going to plan a girls holiday with the pennies instead.

OP posts: