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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have wanted my Bf to tell his mates to piss off to spend time with me??

25 replies

DumDum32 · 30/03/2013 23:30

So it's been a grueling long week for both of us. Him with his work & me with a really sick DD all week.

I was really looking forward to tonight for it being just the two of us as I had arranged with my mum to have DDI tonight.

I'm not talking anything fancy just a quite night in front of the tells with a take out.

whilst I'm at my parents getting DD off to sleep I get a text saying he's outside to pick me up. I tell him come in cos DD still hasn't fallen asleep. I get a text back saying he's going home & will come back later to pick me up. so once DD is asleep I ask my brother to drop me off home to save him the hassle of driving up again. before leaving I text him to let him know I'm in my way. when I'm closer by I call him to ask him if he needs anything. he gets all nasty with me saying y am I on my way cos he said he'll pick me up later. he tells me to turn around & go back to my parents cos his mates r outside & have bought a take away! I got so missed off I put the phone down.

now I'm getting apology texts & apparently it's a good thing im not around him as he is in a foul mood.

so aibu to be mad & pissed off or should I be thanking him for not spending the night with me???

OP posts:
Original poster
DumDum32 · 30/03/2013 23:32

Sorry for the spelling I'm in my phone

OP posts:
YellowDinosaur · 30/03/2013 23:34

He is being a prick.

Unless he has a bloody good excuse for stropping like a toddler over this I'd ltb

StuntGirl · 30/03/2013 23:37

He sounds like a twat. I don't know if I'd just be sowing seeds of doubt here but such an unnecessarily aggressive reaction would make me wonder if it really is his mates at home?

Mia4 · 30/03/2013 23:38

He's told you that it's a good thing you aren't around him because he's in a foul mood? Not much of an apology then, sounds like he's trying to guilt you.

Did you not have set plans to get food then or was it a more general 'see you later thing?' Whichever way, getting arsey is a stroppy thing as has been said.

Is he like this a lot? If so YWBU to keep bothering with him, if not, you should definitely not thank him-unless you are thanking him for warning you about what a shit he's being.

Bluelightsandsirens · 30/03/2013 23:38

He gets all nasty because you arranged a lift to stop him needing to come back out to get you and called to see if he needs anything?

That says it all to me.

What time did this happen and where are you know dum?

Original poster
DumDum32 · 30/03/2013 23:41

I was actually thinking the same stunt but he's never given me any reason to doubt or not to believe him before & this is typical behaviour of his friends. I've been at home so many times when they come round unexpectedly.

OP posts:
MomaP · 30/03/2013 23:41

What a bastard.

You should of gone home and asked his friends to leave. Angry

SirBoobAlot · 30/03/2013 23:43

He sounds vile, tbh.

MorelliOrRanger · 30/03/2013 23:44

He's being a knob. Go home and let him apologise properly.

WorraLiberty · 30/03/2013 23:44

What a wanker! Angry

StuntGirl · 30/03/2013 23:44

I don't usually jump to the 'he's a cheating bastard' conclusion either so I was hesitant to put it, but I thought if a friend was telling me this story I'd say it.

Is he usually so aggressive? Does he do drugs or anything? The change from "See you later" to "fuck off and come back later" seems quite abrupt.

MomaP · 30/03/2013 23:44

I'm with Stunt on this one also.

Very suspicious. I'd be investigating.

Original poster
DumDum32 · 30/03/2013 23:47

I'm at my parents I decided to stay here the night. I was feeling too angry to face him plus I didn't wanna say something I'd regret later as I can become emotional easily hence the reason I'm here looking for a more objective view on the matter.

OP posts:
TurnipCake · 30/03/2013 23:50

He sounds vile, Dumdum, that's me putting it as objectively as possible. Does he get angry often?

Iaintdunnuffink · 30/03/2013 23:52

Run.

Original poster
DumDum32 · 30/03/2013 23:52

please dont call him names i don't like using flowery language.

he's had anger issues in the past but nothing like this for a good 3-4 years now. others also not been any signs (aggression).

OP posts:
Snazzynewyear · 30/03/2013 23:53

Not good to tell you to go away from your own house! I would totally ignore the texts. At least get a night's sleep in while there is someone else around to help with your DD.

I'm less suspicious about cheating because he did initially show up to collect you while you were still getting your DD to sleep. So presumably he can't have arranged anything in advance with someone else as you should have been there. Does he have form for acting stupidly when in the company of his mates? Do they encourage him to break free of the old ball and chain, etc Hmm ?

seriouscakeeater · 30/03/2013 23:54

Get rid . What a prick. Telling you to turn round he will see you later...total lack of respect. [Flowers]

TurnipCake · 30/03/2013 23:55

Have you been walking on eggshells in the last 3 - 4 years? (You don't have to answer that there btw, just food for thought)

Original poster
DumDum32 · 30/03/2013 23:58

snazzy - I think your right I should just get a good night sleep while I can. tomorrow if he apologises properly then I'll think about returning home otherwise he can spend some alone time at the house by himself for a few days. it'd just a shame DD won't get to spend Easter with daddy :(

OP posts:
StuntGirl · 31/03/2013 00:08

Hang on, it's your house? I thought it was his house. Bugger that for a game of soldiers, no chance I'd be staying out of my own house!

Original poster
DumDum32 · 31/03/2013 00:12

stunt - it's a rented place so technically both our place!

OP posts:
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 31/03/2013 00:25

What kind of man tells you to not come home because his mates are there??It's your house! I'd have turned up and booted them all out!

StuntGirl · 31/03/2013 00:43

Yep, which makes it as much your place as his! I think you're mad to have slept elsewhere tonight. I'm with neo!

Doha · 31/03/2013 08:23

What a nasty controlling twat. How dare he tell you not to come home to your own house. I would have gone home and thrown both him and his mates out.
Selfish prick.

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