Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

wibu to call the police?

27 replies

newyearnewattitude · 30/03/2013 09:33

Okay.... At about 9am there was a disturbance outside our house....

The people across the road were in the middle of the road with someone else and a dog running loose. They were shouting leave us alone, lots of swearing and fighting between the two men, a brick at some point and the woman looked distressed trying to stop it.

I phoned the police who turned up 3-4 mins later just after one of the men walked away....

DH thinks I was stupid to do this, that I shouldnt have gotten involved and that by doing that I have put us all at risk of danger.

Wibu to call the police?

OP posts:
Montybojangles · 30/03/2013 09:37

Umm, no. I'm impressed they turned up so quickly. Did this once in north London when someone was shouting and screaming about being killed and it took them 20 mins!
Would he rather you had waited and phoned them after someone was killed?

Original poster
newyearnewattitude · 30/03/2013 09:41

4 cars too! They went in quickly to the house but back out to find the other chap within a minute or two.....

OP posts:
DoJo · 30/03/2013 09:43

How is calling the police from within your house putting you in danger? Who does he think should call the police when they see something which concerns them? I bet he'd want someone to call if he was in trouble. Tell him to get over him self and toughen up!

Inthebeginning · 30/03/2013 09:44

I reckon that either a) someone else had phoned the police too or b) the people are known to the police and that is why they arrived so quickly. You were totally right to do it- if something bad had of happened you would have felt exceptionally guilty.

Loislane78 · 30/03/2013 09:45

How do/would they know it was you who called the police? It c

Loislane78 · 30/03/2013 09:45

Ooops, it could have been any of the neighbours, passers by etc.

PeppaFuckingPig · 30/03/2013 09:47

Your DH's attitude is one of the reasons why society is going to the dogs these days.

Original poster
newyearnewattitude · 30/03/2013 09:52

He thinks I shouldnt have given my name to the 999 service and if a police car comes to our house to get a statement (not likely) then they will know.... Hmm

It's stupid, he hates living here anyway as it's on the edge of an estate and there arr student houses but 1) it's a good location for school/uni/work/buses 2) we have a cheap rent from our laid back landlord -£400-600 less than he could get from students etc and 3) we cannot afford the size of house we need in a 'nicer' area! But it's not the Bronx or anything!! This has just added to his dislike of living here....

OP posts:
quoteunquote · 30/03/2013 09:53

Of course you should phone the police in that situation, you would be totally unreasonable not to.

we pay our taxes so we can phone 999,

police -deal with violent people

fire officers - deal with fire

ambulance - deal with sick people

coast guard - deal with water related rescue

all so we don't have to, it's a great system, but you have to let them know when it is occurring.

I'm really sad that anyone would even hesitate to phone the police when there is violence going on, that just makes us all a whole lot less safe.

Numberlock · 30/03/2013 09:55

Agreed Peppa but fear is also a reason why people don't report.

CalamityJ · 30/03/2013 10:04

The key word for police involvement is apparently "distress". I phoned 101 about a bloke outside our house ranting and raving (not at us just happened to be doing it outside our house). The 101 person asked if he seemed to be "in distress" which he did so the operator passed me to 999 who sent a car to help him. You said the woman looked "distressed" so this would have been enough for the police. If they sent police round (which they did) then it's obviously an incident which required police intervention. Why would you ignore that? There's too much ignoring of situations IMHO and people ended up seriously injured because no one stepped in to help. It could have escalated dangerously so YANBU. Unless your street is a street of only 2 houses and then your husband has a point. Otherwise ignore him.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali · 30/03/2013 10:10

My DP would be exactly the same. Gets right on my nerves.

I witnessed a man snatch a child from a woman's arms in town a while back. The woman was hysterical. I had no phone on me and was trying to get a passerby to either call 999 or lend me their phone. They all shuffled past saying they were in a hurry/it would sort itself out/yadda yadda.

CraftyBec · 30/03/2013 10:18

You are not being unreasonable. I witnessed a conflict going on in a house opposite, between neighbours. 2 men turned up in a van, barged in, woman screamed. I rang 999, gave a statement to police. I had given the van reg on phone but they were more interested in whether I could identify the men, which was frustrating as I couldn't very well.
Anyway, I think you did the right thing. We need to be willing to risk getting involved, otherwise there's no hope for our society.

thezebrawearspurple · 30/03/2013 10:36

I'd be wary about giving my name when calling on neighbours tbh, I'd only call if the neighbours were normal, innocent people being attacked, scumbags and their friends I'd ignore even if they were killing each other. It's not worth getting involved if there's a risk of a brick (or worse, petrol bomb) going through the window or having a group of thugs turn up at your door.

I understand your dh's viewpoint, you need to be careful with certain people, it's your family that will suffer if you're not.

limitedperiodonly · 30/03/2013 11:10

Your DH is daft, but loads of people are like it. My mum's one of them.

Anyone in the road could have called 999 and the police would never say who, much less turn up at your door shouting: 'Hi! Just returning your call.'

MrsWolowitz · 30/03/2013 11:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stifnstav · 30/03/2013 11:28

I had to call the Police on different neighbours a few times. The flat downstairs seemed to be jinxed and every man who lived in it turned out to be a wifebeater.

So every time I heard a beating going on I rang.

The police woul arrive in no time and then would ring me later to ask if I would prefer to give a statement at the police station in the next town, which was better than a car coming to my flat (they'd have to walk past the wifebeater flat to get to us). They do have a bit of common sense!

starsandunicorns · 30/03/2013 11:37

My dps is the first to the phone if he thinks its needed we have garages at the back of us owned by the shops under us.

We heard noise went window saw couple of blokes trying to break into said garages police arrived but blokes ran off one of the shop owners was very thankfull that we called.2 weeks later we saw lads wonder down there so dp called. Loads of police came and dog unit. The lads got in one of the units and we saw which one so directed police to the correct one.

The police were gratful we gave statments and were told glad you called well missed the buggers the first time when dp said yeah we called it in the first time too he policeman said well done.
We eaisly could of not called but we are not like that.

Original poster
newyearnewattitude · 30/03/2013 12:34

Thank you everyone, I knew it was the right thing to do but DH is still annoyed with me and 'deeply upset' about it!

OP posts:
KatyTheCleaningLady · 30/03/2013 12:43

YANBU.

That said, my husband also didn't want me to call the police. I once watched a massive brawl involving spades, golf clubs, and knives and my husband absolutely insisted that I was not to call the police. Was adamant on that point.

The entire neighbourhood was either involved in the brawl or watching from their upstairs windows like it was a bullfight or something, so it's not like anyone would have known it was me. But, he said that because we were foreign (American and English Scotland) they would have immediately suspected us, regardless.

I used to call the police all the time when I lived in California. I would literally wake up on the phone (anyone ever done that) and find myself describing something to the 911 dispatchers. But, I wasn't afraid to call the police, there. It was just different.

quietbatperson · 30/03/2013 15:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

quietbatperson · 30/03/2013 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClippedPhoenix · 30/03/2013 15:33

Surely the police don't divulge such information.

Good for you OP. I'd have called them too.

As for your DH being deeply upset about it, what on earth is all that about?

Squitten · 30/03/2013 15:34

Well I hope your DH is content for all his neighbours to have the same attitude so that when he's the one being murdered on his own doorstep, nobody will bother to call the police either!

limitedperiodonly · 30/03/2013 15:35

There's always the risk that they'll blame you even if you're innocent. Someone was whingeing to me about someone else dropping them in it at work and it had been me. Maybe it was the other person too. This colleague was very annoying