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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want anyone to touch me for a bit

45 replies

fruitstick · 30/03/2013 08:22

This sounds awful.

I have lovely husband and two DC (6&4) who are great.

But I just need everyone to leave me alone! I'm really suffering from contact overload.

The 4 year plc constantly wants to sit on my lap, regardless of what I'm doing.

The 6 year old is always coming into our bed and he's enormous! and just fidgets & fiddles and generally causes a disturbance.

When they're in bed we sit on the sofa and DH wants to rub my feet, or wants me to rub his, and then gets all cuddly when we get into bed.

He then gets offended and thinks I'm not interested in him. It's not true, I just want to be able to sit or lie down somewhere without being accosted it something being demanded of me.

When I write it down I sound insane, and I feel mean and selfish.

It's making me twitchy!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 30/03/2013 08:25

Sounds like you want 24 hours of nobody invading your personal space. Grin But saying that my boys are 13 and 11 and every now and again I miss those little boys that sat on my knee, or got into bed with us in the night. Sad

Give it a few years and you will have all the personal space you need.

Sparklingbrook · 30/03/2013 08:26

I have got DH and Sparkling cat though. Smile

TobyLerone · 30/03/2013 08:26

YANBU.

I get like this sometimes. I am very introverted and sometimes it's all too much.

I explain to DH and the DC that I just need not to be mithered for a bit. I still like to be in the same room as them etc. It's even fine to have someone sitting next to me. I just don't want to be lolloped on.

I get over it after 15 minutes or so, and it's all back to normal.

Everyone understands, luckily. But my DC are 12 & 13, so it's easier to explain than it would be to young children.

Original poster
fruitstick · 30/03/2013 08:28

I know sparkling brook Hmm

I want to sit with them, I just want the little blighters to keep still Grin

OP posts:
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 30/03/2013 08:29

Oh yanbu I am the same. I now have the spare room as my "office" and I go in there when I need space. DHis also welcome to use it if he needs space. Yes it means the kids have to share a bedroom....but so what...I had to share with 2 sisters so as far as I'm concerned, 2 small girls in one room is luxurious!

I love my office and am in here now.

Jacksterbear · 30/03/2013 08:29

Omg I soooooo know where you are coming from op! I have 2 very clingy dc; my 6yo in particular is suffocatingly so. Sometimes when dh goes to hug me in an evening after a day with the dcs, I flinch before I can stop myself Sad, then I feel awful. Sad

Sparklingbrook · 30/03/2013 08:31

Sometimes DS2 will come and sit with me to show me Minecraft stuff on the laptop, but he always sits as close as possible, so we are both jammed into the corner of the settee. Grin

Numberlock · 30/03/2013 08:32

I'm exactly the same. I love and need time on my own and it's a rare commodity.

Do you have chance to 'escape' regularly OP?

CuriosityKilledTheCrap · 30/03/2013 08:32

Completely agree. Go away the lot of you!

Even dinner times aren't sacred.

fanoftheinvisibleman · 30/03/2013 08:33

I used to feel like that when ds was a baby. Sadly my poor little old cat bore the brunt of it and died before I could make amends. Sad

But the minute I put ds to bed the cat would appear from nowhere and want his turn and I just wanted to have 5 minutess to myself.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 30/03/2013 08:33

YANBU

My two are 4 and 2, and they always want to be clambering and sitting in me, and in our bed.

They are lovely and cuddly and gorgeous, but sometimes I just need a bit of space.

DH does understand if I just want to be left alone to lie down though and doesn't get offended.

TobyLerone · 30/03/2013 08:34

I have to remind my DC about personal space on a regular basis. They can't sit next to me to show me something. They have to practically sit on me!

Sparklingbrook · 30/03/2013 08:34

I remember breastfeeding DS1, it was a really hot summer, and we were both sweating, then the cat decided to come and join us on my lap. Grin

It's nice to be wanted though eh?

jojane · 30/03/2013 08:36

It was worst when I was breast feeding but now I just get prodded and jumped on and cuddled and stroked and pulled on etc etc

TheOrchardKeeper · 30/03/2013 08:38

I have a 2 year old that will not let me sit down unless it's to be used as a climbing frame.

I have been known to sit on the dining room table with a cup of tea just so I could have a few minutes of peace to stop that twitchy feeling Grin Brew

KatieScarlett2833 · 30/03/2013 08:38

YANBU
You are not a climbing frame or a machine. Grin

KatieScarlett2833 · 30/03/2013 08:39

X post, great minds and all that Wink

GwennieF · 30/03/2013 08:39

You're neither mean nor selfish! Sometimes everybody pawing at you just feels a bit too much.

Kveta · 30/03/2013 08:41

same here! clingy bfing ill 9 month old, clingy whiny pointy 3 yo, both fighting over who can be in closest contact with mummy without me having to actually give birth to them again.

DS has the boniest bum ever, and is always wriggling about and stroking my hair and patting my face, whilst DD is feeding and gripping bits of boob or pulling my hair or fishhooking my nose.

Once they are in bed for the evening, I barely want to sit in the same room as DH, let alone be touched by him.

BadgersNadgers · 30/03/2013 08:45

I want some peace and quiet. It would be lovely if the children would just shut the fuck up for half an hour.

TheOrchardKeeper · 30/03/2013 08:49

I have a dream...Of a bright future.

Where my boobs are no longer elbowed & my hair is no longer pulled. Where I can go a whole day without having an eyeball carelessly poked or my lap full of 30lbs of pure energy & invasive curiosity!

On the plus side all that blocking of unexpected jabs to the face/body means I now have the reflexes of a ninja... [bugrin]

TeaMakesItAllPossible · 30/03/2013 08:51

YANBU or mean or selfish. I quite regularly hide after tea and before bed to get a bit of space from small boys who feel the need to squeeze my neck, stroke my hair or sit on me even whilst i'm on the toilet.

It does get less intense as they get older though -12YO likes his space now too so it is a bit better. But I miss him in the general pile on of the other three.

Softlysoftly · 30/03/2013 08:53

YANBU I have 2 dds and actually other than sleep time where they are both regularly in my bed they are fairly independent (10m and 3yrs). I am an extrovert and yet I still Get to the stage some days where I just can't handle any more noise and physical contact.

DH also comes in sometimes and wants to talk about his day, hug whatever and I just want to scream.

Strangemagic · 30/03/2013 08:53

Aaaaarrrggggghhhhh elbowed boobs,coughing in my face and being whacked around the head or just poked ,you have my sympathy op.

TheOrchardKeeper · 30/03/2013 08:55

this may cheer you up on a gloomy morning by the way Wink