To detest tightness when the person is wealthy.

[Cannierelax]

My post says it all. I know for a fact my mother Is stinkingly wealthy, no mortgage, expensive range rover, no overheads as my father pays for it all and a 6 figure in savings. Yet she has never bought my son a single full price item. My son had a sleepover at her house yesterday and it's family tradition to get the child a gift. I told Ds to say to his gran where his toy was, well she said she would get him a McDonald's! Ds then said he wished for a toy, his gran said okay, at this point I said I would get the Argos book for him to have a browse. Gran quickly yelled, no, no wait till I go into town and il get 'something' from B M Bargains. Aibu ? DH said I am. I'm just really hurt that his gran doesn't buy him anything unless it's fron the pound shop and she's loaded. She is generally very tight with everything. Should I be feeling hurt / angry. When Ds was born she also kept all of the Money gifts he received from her friends. Her reason was because they were from her friends and she had unturned bought her friends little one gifts do they were returning the favour do I wasn't entitled to return the favour. She did this for his first Xmas too.

I'm really sorry but have I missed something about the Lego?

Cannie on first glance you seem vu and grabby but the more you explain, the more I get it. No its not u to expect equalise/fair treatment for your son.

And it's theft/fraud for her to keep his money! That is awful.

you need to manage your expectations and forget about ever getting anything from her, i don't think you have mentioned your dad btw.

of course its frustrating, if i had enough money to be secure, i would want to use it to spread some sunshine into the worlds of those i love....

of course things don't have to be expensive but i find it tiring being around people who are v v well off and who are just constantly thinking about money all the time, they never once let it go, not even ONE coffee out! One special splash out on anything. I find it tiring and depressing really.

When if I am privileged enough to become a GP i shall be asking my DD what they want need, then after that, I will always be picking up odds and ends from car boots, and stuff, BUT if I walked past a boutique occasionally, I would buy something, just if something was really amazing, or treat to a show, or something, the loaded people I know would never ever ever do this.

Lower your expectations and disengage.

I wonder if your mother kept the money for your DS so that she could put it in a seperate account for him. My mother would do that. My in laws have given the kids approx £10k each. My mother gives them £50 every birthday, which they are not allowed to spend until they buy a house. They are currently 5 and 3.

Incidentally although the in-laws have given us the large amounts of cash for the kids, they are very poor tippers, and I hate eating out with them because of it. That is how they are rich.

Two things here. Of course your son shouldn't be expecting a gift. It isn't his birthday or Christmas so no gift should be expected.

On the keeping of money intended for your son. That is totally unheard of. And I think I would feel like telling the givers what happened. Did she really do that. Incredible.

Cut her out of your life. She sounds toxic.

YANBU, GCs should be treated fairly. Is there a cultural issue. You mention that our siblings all live with PIL which is unusual and I wonder what you background is, not to in any way excuse your mother's behaviour.

This is bugger all to do with wealth and more to do with her being a thief and a little about you being rude.

Yes its rude to tell a child to expect a gift from anyone other than you.

I get the impression English is not your first language, are you from a culture when grandparents are considered to be in charge of every younger family member and have financial responsibility for them?

If not your mother is a thief and she stole from a tiny baby.

If you are in the uk then what she did is a actual criminal offence. Unless she is named on a residency order or somehow has PR with regard to your ds.

I would struggle to let that go to the point that next time any friend of hers handed you or ds a cash gift I would hand it back and say " oh give it straight to DM as she claims all of ds's gifts as soon as the giver leaves"