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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

MIL gave Dd a big present I hate, what to do?

134 replies

Mashedupbanana · 23/03/2013 18:30

Today MIL turned up with a present for our 2 yo Dd. it's a bright pink slide (dd's not seen it yet). I know I will sound really ungrateful but it really is not something that I would want to look at in the garden. My tastes are very different from MIL, I prefer more natural, creative, gender neutral, well constructed toys whereas MIL is quite the opposite - if it's plastic, flashes and pink she loves it. I think dd would probably enjoy going on the slide and that's the most important thing, but it's really not my kind of thing.

Realistically I dont want a plastic slide in the garden, but I have come to the conclusion that i'm just going to have to suck it up and have it. I don't like pink things like this as I think they look tacky and if we have a son next it is too gender specific. It doesn't matter with little things I can pack in a box but with a slide it's very visible. If i have to keep the slide, would I be unreasonable to ask if I can swap for it for the more neutral red one. At Christmas they wanted to buy her a pink trike and we gently suggested something else as we'd prefer to buy a balance bike, but I can see this coming up every time. What would you do?

OP posts:

PoppyWearer · 23/03/2013 22:08

I understand that your history with your MIL may be influencing how you feel about it.

But honestly, I had a DD first, and we bought her a huge great plastic Little Tikes thing for the garden (tastefully arranged behind some trees). The slides are pink. That's just how it came (from eBay).

Now we have a DS too. Does he care that the slides are pink? He does not. All he knows is that chucking himself down them is a LOT of fun.

Slides are fun. Once you see your DD enjoying it, I bet you won't care any more where it came from and why.

idiot55 · 23/03/2013 22:11

embrace it, seriiously you will end up with a lot of stuff you dont want

exoticfruits · 23/03/2013 22:14

I don't see why your DS will mind it being pink. I should make a start at having big presents at her house- to enjoy when they go there.

WinkyWinkola · 23/03/2013 22:17

Pink and plastic? Yuck. I can imagine it's vile.

And of course there is always some background as well.

I would just say thanks and then say we might have a boy next time - can we go for more yellows/reds/greens etc in future?

And is it just me who finds the phrase 'suck it up' totally repulsive?

Startail · 23/03/2013 22:18

It's a slide, if it's a plastic one it will soon be outgrown.

Try a 14ft trampoline complete with safety net.

Original poster

Mashedupbanana · 23/03/2013 22:29

I'm not a pink hater as such, but as dd doesn't yet seem to have a preference for a particular colour, if I'm buying something new then I tend to go for neutral things just so they are easily passed on to a boy as it seems silly to buy twice, but glad to hear those with boys don't seem to care about having pink stuff so hopefully ours (if we have one) will be the same. Pink wouldn't be my preference but we have quite a bit of second hand pink stuff as it has been good value / free. I wouldn't want a future boy to feel like everything was clearly his sister's I suppose so I was just wondering if it is rude to swap for more neutral colour but sounds like the boys aren't as bothered by pink as I'd have thought they might so maybe it's not a prob after all. Yes i think because MIL has behaved badly in the past, everything she does now irritates me. She now loves dd which I'm pleased about, but can't help feeling a little bitter that she didn't want her here in the first place and yes I think looking at the damn slide reminds me of the way she made me feel. But you're right, it is just a slide and dd will love it.

OP posts:

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 23/03/2013 22:30

stairtail we have a trampoline, a big wooden climbing frame with a climbing wall and massive slide and a sand/water play table, massive ride on tractor and trailer, a swingball, skateboards, scooters etc etc.... Its like a play area not a garden! Meh the kids like it :)

KirstyJC · 23/03/2013 22:38

If you don't like gender-specific toys, why would a pink slide be a problem if you had a son? He can have pink toys too, can't he?

ceebie · 23/03/2013 22:47

Your MIL's taste is similiar to my MIL. We accept gaudy, flashy, brightly coloured and loud gifts with gratitude. However over the years we try to 'steer' MIL's choices in our favour (difficult as she buys up to 6 months in advance and if she gets her own idea she is unstoppable) - either we desperately try to think of the type of present she might like to buy but that we could tolerate / actually fit in our house, or if she's thought of something DH might say "ooh you can get nice wooden ones / neutral ones - one of them would be lovely" - doesn't always work and when it doesn't, we just think nothing is forever and not worth falling out over. I always get DH to voice the suggestions, not me - I think it's better that way.

By the way, my 1 year old DS goes swimming in pink swim shorts and a pink bodywarmer. Maybe he'll mind when he's a bit older but for the moment he doesn't care and nor do I!

ceebie · 23/03/2013 22:53

Is it one of those little tot's slides? Buy a nice big garden storage box / mini-shed thing to put all large toys in.

IneedAsockamnesty · 23/03/2013 22:55

Glad you realised yabu.

Cos the thing about colours are they ARE just colours and are all gender neutral they only become otherwise if you start saying stuff like you can't wear/have/ play with that because you are a boy, same as everything else traditionally concidered to be none gender neutral

BarbarianMum · 23/03/2013 23:00

Guess what, all you 'gender neutral' people up thread who are worried that your sons won't use pink things?

Some girls don't like pink. Quite a lot of boys do (although most have it verbally beaten out of them by the loving adults in their lives by the time they hit school age).

Pink is just a colour b/w red and white. It is gender neutral, just like any other fucking colour.

Personally I don't like pink but I am so, so sick of this shit.

aldiwhore · 23/03/2013 23:01

My boys had a pink swing, it was given to us... they are not gay. I was certain everything I would ever own would either be politically correct, gender neutral and aesthetically pleasing (almost to the point that I very nearly denied them the colour blue - which is daft, it's a nice colour) and I am very very glad I failed.

My wonderful children play in their eclectic garden on their garish toys and although you'd never see my property in 'Beautiful Homes' it is actually a beautiful home, because, not in spite of, garish plastic items strewn around the garden, the boys' drawings on my kitchen walls, crayon on the stairwell, etc.,

I am glad I let go of the idea of perfection, because I really don't think I'd have got it if I hadn't.

I now have an all colours are awesome policy and have chilled the hell out.

aldiwhore · 23/03/2013 23:02

I should point out that I wouldn't give a stuff if my boys were gay, but the pink slide certainly hasn't forced their hand either way!

mrsjay · 23/03/2013 23:07

It is because it is pink plastic tat isnt it , you sound snooty suck it up let her play with it the brittish weather will get fade it soon enough ,

bamboozled · 23/03/2013 23:13

Really, you might as well give up now, roller skates, sand outs paddling pools (even more ugly when empty) abandoned balls, netball hoops, trampolines with safety nets - its all an eyesore, but hey - the kids are outside all the time - I know which I prefer...

LandofTute · 23/03/2013 23:21

I suppose the problem with suggesting to someone that a wooden version of a toy would be preferable as a gift, is that they are often more expensive than the plastic version and the person may not have wanted to spend that much.

mrsjay · 23/03/2013 23:26

I have a relative who for nearly 16 yrs has given his mother an acceptable present list for his daughters it has ranged from good hand made wooden toys up until this year expensive perfume and a scarf by 'some designer' My aunt hasn't the budget to buy any of these things, and she feels mean and letting her Gd down at birthdays and christmas everybirthday she frets she has got the 'right thing' OP dont do that to your MIL it is too stressful, accept her gift graciously let your dd slide down the slide and seriously it is just a bloody slide not an accessory for your garden

AllTheMadmen · 23/03/2013 23:46

you could spray paint it gold or any colour.

AmberSocks · 23/03/2013 23:48

i used to be like that but honestly,with a 5,4,3 yr old and a baby i dont mind anymore,we still have a lot of nice neutral wooden toys but i have noticed bright colours and plastic are taking over,as long as they enjoy them dont worry about if it looks tasteful or not.

jojane · 24/03/2013 00:21

A red slide would only fade to pink anyway

Startail · 24/03/2013 01:09

Yes we have all manner of other climbing and swing stuff further up the garden, but it's the sodding great trampoline I can see from the house.

LittleEdie · 24/03/2013 02:51

I wouldn't have a pink slide in the garden. Kids can do loads in the garden without slides and stuff. It'd spoil it unless your garden is big enough it could be hidden. Must be very difficult though if she'll take offence.

Lavenderhoney · 24/03/2013 03:03

I've given up on my lovely calm garden and stressing about grass, flowers, picking of flowers etc. the grass is ruined anyway by tying a tennis ball to the whirly thing and letting dc bash it with sticks/ bats. Bright pink is ok. I am not into colours for boys and girls but dd knows what she likes and its pink:)

I think a slide sounds great, and your dd will want to be outside playing and you will want to get her toys or how will she play? And other people's dc come round... Better everyone outside than in:)

Go on, get a Wendy house and a paddling pool for when the weathers nice. Plus a deck chair for yourself:)

Someone gave my ds a pink trike when he was 2. He loved it- so does his baby sister now.

Sunshineandwaves · 24/03/2013 05:39

My mother in law didn't buy my kids anything for Xmas or their birthdays. I think you are being very ungrateful.

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