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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be shocked by this? Or am I just boring...

139 replies

SummerTimeLana · 23/03/2013 00:10

Been with my boyfriend for 7 months now and I've met his family a few times.

His brother invited us out for dinner tonight (to celebrate his daughters birthday)

We went to a buffet, there was 7 adults and 3 young children. Lovely food and not too expensive.

Then the bill came and bf says "Shall we just do a runner?"

And his brother replied with "Yeah I would but it'd be hard to get away fast enough with 3 kids"

They were being deadly serious and it was definitely not a joke.

It would never occur to me to ever do that, if I couldn't afford to eat out then I just wouldn't eat out. Point is everyone tonight could afford to pay - and we did.

I'm not so naive and sheltered to not realise that yes people do this but aibu to be a little shocked by it?

OP posts:
digerd · 23/03/2013 12:46

That's disgusting, and thieving. I don't understand people with no moral conscience and would avoid them like the plague. Nasty people to me.

susiedaisy · 23/03/2013 12:54

Op my take on it is that its theft not having a sense of adventure, he obviously has very different morals to you, and in my experience (exH) of someone who is happy to steal this will cause you no end of trouble if you were to marry and have kids !!

susiedaisy · 23/03/2013 12:58

I've been out for a curry and one group of people who were all counting their money and didn't have enough actually made the lights go out in the restaurant by messing with the fuse box that were in the ladies toilet area, they then tried to do a runner but the restaurant owners had already guarded the door as soon as the lights went out and they didn't get far, it was both excruciatingly embarrassing and entertaining to watch!

Purplepip · 23/03/2013 15:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Weissdorn · 23/03/2013 15:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

undercoverSAHM · 23/03/2013 15:45

Trust your own instincts about it not being a joke. Your BF has shown himself to be casually and habitually dishonest. Dump him.

expatinscotland · 23/03/2013 15:48

Dump!

WorriedMummy73 · 23/03/2013 15:50

Ashamed to say that me and three friends tried to do a runner from a local cafe when we were about 14. We'd been going there for lunch every day for weeks and one day it was busy, the staff were in the kitchen and we thought we'd leg it. Didn't even occur to us about the thieving aspect of it! Anyway, the waitress came out as we headed towards the door and said 'oi!'. We actually could have got away, but we went back and paid. We were in uniform and there was only one local comp. How stupid were we to think we would ever have got away with it? I am NOT proud!

Also got caught stealing two toffee logs aged 7. A criminal I am clearly not meant to be...

expatinscotland · 23/03/2013 15:53

I went on a blind date where he tried to stiff me with the bill. I grabbed a waiter the second the 'I forgot my wallet' was out of his mouth and asked loudly for the bill as I wanted to pay for my HALF and was not paying for all of it.

ShatnersBassoon · 23/03/2013 16:07

Have you considered the possibility that they were joking? Grin. I'm not convinced an otherwise honest person would be so openly intend to steal.

We once had my mum on coming away from a restaurant when she'd missed me paying and asked if she could get it. We were saying "Quickly get your coat on. Just keep walking, and if I say run, then RUN!". The poor thing was almost crying by the time we'd crossed the car park.

Coconutty · 23/03/2013 16:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag · 23/03/2013 16:15

Your nan and grandad need mobility scooters so they can mow the waiting staff down as they make clean their getaway coconutty.

thezebrawearspurple · 23/03/2013 16:16

If they were truly serious, leave the bastard.

claudedebussy · 23/03/2013 16:26

well it's theft plain and simple.

i'm afraid it would be a deal breaker for me. anyone who would think that's acceptable would lose my respect.

claudedebussy · 23/03/2013 16:26

and trust.

and since that's the most important thing in a relationship....

CandyCrushed · 23/03/2013 16:29

I would LTB. I don't think I am joking Confused

I can't stand thieves and I wouldn't want to being relationship with someone who has so little regard to normal social and legal rules.

Southeastdweller · 23/03/2013 16:39

He's probably done this before and god knows what else. Carry on seeing him and him and his scummy family will drag you down with them and give you no end of grief.

Get rid now while it's early days.

ZillionChocolate · 23/03/2013 16:56

I joke about it frequently.

You seem convinced this wasn't a joke. I would dump him and tell him why.

WireCatWhore · 23/03/2013 18:38

Well I'm still not sure if they were joking. Just being deadpan about it.

Went out with a group of people a few years ago. One of the women & her friend put their money in the pot as soon as the bill arrived & left. We all needed to put in £20 each. It was £20 down & they'd already gone. Turns out they'd decided as they'd come together, they only needed to pay for one of them?!?! WTF!

hairyqueenofscots · 23/03/2013 19:00

i have never ever come across this type of behaviour, and i could not date a thief, sorry :(

Writehand · 23/03/2013 19:31

If it wasn't a joke you're going to have to dump him. It's a no. And, yes, there really are people like that. Sad

A bloke I'd been seeing for a month or two did this to me in a rather nice restaurant many years ago. He did a runner. I stayed and paid. It was far more than I could afford & I'd never have gone if he hadn't invited me.

When I left he was hiding round the corner and made it clear he thought I was an idiot for not running with him. That was the end of that. Yuck!

NippyDrips · 23/03/2013 19:56

I think you need to ltb. How classy will you feel doing a runner from your next date.

Floggingmolly · 23/03/2013 20:10

I think your thread title s a bit shocking, tbh. "to be shocked by this, or am I just boring".

There is a part of you that feels this is ok, isn't there?
It's not.

Floggingmolly · 23/03/2013 20:10

is

LessMissAbs · 23/03/2013 20:15

Nothing happened OP. Nothing was likely to happen. Save your shock for things when they actually happen I say.