To think people would have a problem with their therapist having dreadlocks?

[Buddhagirl]

I used to have dreads, I'm now a cognitive behavioural therapist. I want my dreads back but family have said it will have a negative impact on my job. I'm not sure.

How would you feel about seeing a therapist with crazy hair?

Inspired by a recent aibu post :-)

It's a look I associate with higher than average levels of drug taking and mental health problems. So if I had a therapist with them I'd think 'Oh oh, what have we got here?'

FFS. Don't get dreads cos it will send you mental ya know.

I've never had any negative comments from black people to be honest. I lived in Deptford in SE London for 4 years and that is a very multi-cultural area with a large Jamaican and African community. The response from them is by and large positive. Rastafarians aren't the only people historically to have dread-locks, and while I do completely understand the cultural and religious symbolism of them to Rastafarians, I fail to see how white people with dreads can be racist. How is it racist? It has nothing to do judging people based on their race....although I could argue that thinking white people cannot have dreads because they are white IS doing that.

I'm not saying there won't be certain black people out there who might not like it by the way, that's up to them. I just don't think the argument is logical. I am not mocking black people by having dreads, so how can my intent be racist? I have them because I love the look and they make me happy...no hate or prejudice there...it's a hairstyle that is significant to a certain religion, but they do not have the monopoly on it, any more than Christians do on the symbol of the cross.

SL, I don't think it is about rastafarian beliefs in particular but about cultural appropriation of dreadlocks which have a wider political meaning and historical background connected to ethnic groups which isn't all about religious belief. If ethnic minorities in the UK don't have an issue with white people having dreadlocks, then in the context of the UK it isn't racist to do it, surely? If they do have an issue with it, then it is.

'I am not mocking black people by having dreads, so how can my intent be racist?'

I don't think it matters what your intent is, unless you are in therapy and somebody is being paid to listen to your innermost thoughts and feelings! It's a racist act if people from minority groups feel they are being mocked, marginalised or having their culture appropriated based on what people in the dominant culture do. Otherwise you are giving more importance to your feelings as a person in the dominant culture than the feelings of people who aren't.

Amberleaf It's not so much that having dreads will send you mental, but that mentalists are more likely to have dreads

Yeah I got your point stupid as it was.

Mentalists?

Really?

Er.... I wouldn't think any less of someone with dreads as I would speaking to a black person in the first place. I assume dreads to be either fashion or religion related, not 'unclean' so assuming ur client feels similarly shouldn't be an issue. I sincerely hope that's not patronising as a response I'm just trying to be as clear and simple as poss in response.

Boils down to, don't be daft, hair doesn't prove ur ability - perhaps that's better phrased....?

Have I made a massively wrong leap and ur white? Possible. Still stands though....

You have your answer here op while most would not see it as a problem some would question why you have them, take in to account that on here most people are quite open minded

So at work it might be a point that gets in the way of the therapy for some though if it is not your dreads it would be something else

Is something to think about and why if it is a problem for others why is that a proplem for you

I even choose my earings carefully

FreyaSnow - the reason I don't consider it a racist act is because I've come into contact with probably hundreds of black people and I've had NONE say to me that they find it racist or offensive. I've never had anyone say to me they feel mocked or marginalised by my hair...in fact the only people I've come into contact that seem to have a problem and say that white people shouldn't have dreads are other white people.

When I lived in London I was on friendly terms with all the afro-hair supply shops. All the people who worked there were recent immigrants from either Africa or Jamaica and they all loved my hair, no-one had a problem with it.

So...I will continue to wear my hair like this...if someone finds it offensive then I will ask them to explain why as I mean no offence. If they put forward an argument that makes sense to me I will apologise for offending them and put my argument across. I'm not going to stop being who I like to be in case I offend someone, especially when I've had plenty of people from the group I'm supposed to be offending saying they love it. I don't feel offended by black people have relaxed, Caucasian style hair - why would I? I'm very open-minded, tolerant and I pride myself on being sensitive to people's feelings. If I didn't offend anyone whilst living in a predominantly Jamaican and African area for years, then I will assume those who are offended will be a tiny minority. I don't set out to offend people, but I genuinely see nothing offensive in adopting a hairstyle just because I have skin of a certain colour. The world is an amazing place rich with different cultures, nothing wrong with mixing it up a bit in my opinion.

Can I ask if anyone who feels that white people with dreads are being racist is actually black? I'm genuinely interested to know, not being facetious.

SL, I don't know if it is considered racist in the UK or not. You seem to be fairly sure it isn't, in your experience. So I'm sure why you should be concerned if you're satisfied based on your own experiences.

As for the ethnicity of people saying it is racist, you can't be sure if people are being honest about their ethnicity online if they're writing. Youtube would be a good place to start to avoid that problem.

There's a woman here who does a lot of videos on racism. She starts talking about dreadlocks about half way through the video, but the points about piercings are related:

'So at work it might be a point that gets in the way of the therapy for some though if it is not your dreads it would be something else'

Excellent point!

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The word 'mentalist' is very offensive, you might as well say 'spastics' or 'niggers'.

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I have also never had anything but positive comments from black people, only prejudice views from white people! Dreads are just slightly knottier hair that the human race had for millions of years, why people judge you so much for them I do not know.

I will check that link out Freya thank-you. I just fail to see the logic in me being racist for adopting a certain hairstyle....but then it not being racist to tell me I can't have my hair a certain way because I'm white. Makes no sense to me. You can't combat racism with more racism.

SL, I think black and white people are so integrated in Britain, particularly in parts of London, that it would be impossible for somebody who has grown up there to entirely separate things out into things that are culturally black and culturally white. Things like dialect, hairstyles, food, music and so on are so intertwined that many young people will have grown up in that mixed culture and it will all be their culture. And I think that's a good thing. But I'm white, and that may give me a biased perspective on it.

You make a fair point....the multi-cultural aspect of SE London was one of the reasons I loved living there. The markets were fantastic, the food etc. I would honestly find it quite sad if someone was offended by how I choose to look. I like to think I enjoy making the world a bit of a brighter place...but then I'm a hippy idealist, I know that

Aaaanyway, I've taken this thread way off piste, sorry.

that it would be impossible for somebody who has grown up there to entirely separate things out into things that are culturally black and culturally white

I don't agree with that at all.

I live in and grew up in SE London, while it is true that some people are intertwined, there are still clear distinctions between 'black' and 'white' culture. it is possible to live alongside people of different cultures and and maintain your own whilst enjoying aspects of another.

Whereabouts AmberLeaf? My DH is a SE native as well (catford/Lewisham)

Culture is great...it's rich and interesting. I genuinely see nothing offensive about enjoying and adopting aspects of other's culture if it's something you love and respect. I would be flattered if people saw my culture as something to partake in.

Hm, I don't think it would bother me. You could tie back your hair to make it look smarter.

I was thinking about this whilst feeding dd2 at midnight. Dreadlocks on any shade doesn't offend or strike as anything but fashion or religion. I would mightily question ur ability though if u dressed anything but smartly. I would expect u to be smart and professional so no ripped jeans, tie dye or festival fashion. Essentially a 'uniform' of ur choosing. If expect u to respect urself and qualifications. Just like I do anyone in any job/role.

Are you any good at your job ? If the answer is yes, then i cannot see how you look would impact your ability to do it . I work with people in the NHS who have tatoos , multiple piercings and bright hair , they are compassionate , dedicated , professional and colourful !

I think if you are working in CBT, it would be a bit unprofessional to be honest. If there's a possibility that you could be working with people with OCD you could put them in a very uncomfortable position. I know that in the logical side of my brain that properly maintained dreadlocks are clean and nice (and look good too) but my OCD doesn't always think logically and I'm sure other people with this condition can't control logical thoughts sometimes. You may see clients who are worrying inside about how often you clean it, if it could be carrying germs, if they it is carrying smells that they could breathe in and be contaminated by. They could spend very session thinking about your hair and not being able to focus properly and as a result, not get the care they need or the result they want. My therapist had to come to my house for a while and if she had turned up with dreadlocks, I wouldn't have been able to let her in the house. OCD isn't logical so this might not make sense to people who haven't experienced it but I do think as a therapist you should be taking this into account.

They might not have the confidence to speak up and switch therapists either. I had to do it once based on comments about my pregnancy and it took me weeks as I was so afraid I would lose my mental health care. Even if you ask them if they are comfortable with your hair when they first meet you, they may feel they have to lie and say yes or lose their sessions or have to work with you knowing they have offended you.

Scarlet have just had a look at the photo on your website and genuinely think your hair looks lovely.

Freya I started watching the video you posted. I wanted to understand the woman's point of view and she obviously feels very strongly about it.
But she turned me off when she started talking about "whites" as a generic whole, it sounded quite racist to me. I appreciate that she was trying to speak of decades of oppression and white supremacy but to focus on tattoos and piercings particularly as something "whites" should not have as they are inappropriately copying black culture, well that's just plain wrong and narrow minded imo.