To think people would have a problem with their therapist having dreadlocks?

[Buddhagirl]

I used to have dreads, I'm now a cognitive behavioural therapist. I want my dreads back but family have said it will have a negative impact on my job. I'm not sure.

How would you feel about seeing a therapist with crazy hair?

Inspired by a recent aibu post :-)

I love dreads on men. DH has been thinking about growing some (he has that thick, coarse ginger hair which is perfect) but he can never hack growing it long enough to start them off.

That's why I said "as neutral as possible"

I come from a classic "client centred" therapeutic background, and for me anything which tends to make the session about the therapist is to be avoided at all costs.

up to you. I always think dreads look a bit odd on white people, but if you are black, why not?

Honestly, if you are black I wouldn't notice. If you were white I would think it a bit attention seeking for a therapist.

I think it would depend on how "tidy" your dreads were - if they were really messy and all over the place, it might look a bit odd; but if they're tidy, then no issue.

It wouldn't bother me, in other words.

I used to work as a complementary therapist and we were taught you had to wear make up etc. for it - bugger that! I never do and never did (apart from the exams) because it makes fuck all difference to my ability to do my job.
I think the only time it makes a difference is when you are e.g. a beauty therapist with shit skin and spots - that's bad advertising and says you're no good at your job.

Can't see how dreadlocks would suggest you're no good at your job, frankly. :)

if male i would probably fancy him :-D dh used to have dreads, sexy!!

I think there is a balance to me made between being as neutral as possible and being a human with a life outside of the room. Also our perceptions of what ' looking neutral' is based on something-expectations around what professionals look like, cultural norms and that will change between areas, clients etc so I'm not sure neutral really exists. As a therapist being able to discuss thoughts and feelings about your therapist is an important part of the therapy so there is a place for that to be explored if necessary.

I would say you should have them if you want to and as long as you are comfortable with yourself, you will be encouraging your clients too as well.

My ds2 has considered it he is 18, he was job seeking though and also wondered how people would take it. I think it is better if like he does you practice the religion. I think men look a bit of a twat if its just for the sake of it, especially when they have no idea of the symbolism or meaning. My ds2 told me but I wasn't really paying much attention tbh, thinking it may be a passing phase

" As a therapist being able to discuss thoughts and feelings about your therapist is an important part of the therapy so there is a place for that to be explored if necessary."

Absolutely. If you have all the time in the world.

If you were black, and had your dreadlocks tied back and well kept, I doubt I'd even notice.

But I'm afraid I think dreads on white people look awful, like you're trying way too hard to look cool and grungy, forcing your hair to do something it doesn't naturally do.

Obviously it's entirely up to individuals how they look, and in normal life I barely notice, nor do I care in the slightest.

But if I had a therapist who looked very distinctive in some way, it would make me feel uncomfortable, as I would feel (rightly or wrongly) that we were so far off eachother's wavelength I wouldn't be able to confide in them.

Whether we like it or not, appearances imply something about the person, and that affects how people interact with them. I would feel uncomfortable, for example, being told I had a serious illness by a doctor with pink hair and Barbie deely boppers, although in itself it's not an inherently disturbing look!

I have a problem with anyone having dreadlocks. They disgust me! So yes, I would be put off.

I had CBT for a while and the therapist was very well-groomed and always wore a suit. I liked it. He looked like he had his shit together and that gave me confidence that he could help me sort my life out.

Some of these thoughts from people do make me laugh. Everyone's entitled to their opinion obviously, and if you don't like the look of something, then that's fine....but I can assure you I don't do my hair the way I do for attention, I'm not trying hard to be cool (I just AM ), and I don't think I look like a twat either (obviously people can disagree). I do it because it makes me happy.

Many people do unnatural things to their hair, including covering up greys etc...how is it any different?

This thread just goes to show, reading all these responses, that having dreads means you would provide an alternative for those people who would feel less comfortable around people in suits/conventional/boring clothes.

The key to being a good therapist is being able to "bond" with your client - you'll bond with some but not others, and that's just the way it is. You may end up having a particular "type" of client though if you have the dreadlocks - if you're ok with that, then go for it.

"The key to being a good therapist is being able to "bond" with your client - you'll bond with some but not others, and that's just the way it is. You may end up having a particular "type" of client though if you have the dreadlocks - if you're ok with that, then go for it."

That's great- if the client has a choice...........

I was thinking about this the other day- we have clinical supervision at work. I can't think that anyone can be physically a blank canvas to another. To me, she's very neutral, similar age shape and dress. To a teenager she'd seem very old, to an older client too funky. Your dreads could seem no more challenging than a certain colour hair or physical type.

I thought they did though seeker - I was under the impression that if you couldn't bond with the therapist you saw, you could try another one. Is that not the case?

'It would bother me because I would not see it as professional. But as you say us poor NHS patients get bugger all choice anyway so we'd be stuck with you. Nice.'

That's an unpleasant post, careergirl. 'stuck with you'? What if they were an excellent therapist?

OP, I couldn't care less about any professional's hair and I'm pleased to see that most people on this thread are of the same mind.

Apart from hairdressers, who usually seem to have the worst barnets known to man for some reason.

Wouldn't bother me.

"But I'm afraid I think dreads on white people look awful, like you're trying way too hard to look cool and grungy, forcing your hair to do something it doesn't naturally do."

If you have curly hair, it may well dread on its own. DP or example is white, with curly hair, and left to its own devices his hair dreads.

Actually, brushing your hair daily and washing it all the time is "forcing your hair to do something it doesn't naturally do" much more than dreading, which takes much less maintenance than mainstream, brushed hair does.

If you simply don't like dreads fair enough, but please refrain from the nonsense in your justification!

Really wouldn't bother me. Am currently looking for a CBT therapist and hairstyle wouldn't put me off. Connecting to them in a way that means I can talk to them fully is so much more important.

Gosh, I'm so glad I work in a profession where people don't micromanage how you dress.

No appearance is 'neutral'. I see a consultant regularly whom I'm guessing most people would put into that category: crisp white shirt, dark pressed trousers, red/ blue tie, expensive watch, fountain pen.

His self-presentation is not neutral: it is part of an attempt to look in control and authoritative. Or maybe he just likes dressing that way. I don't know, but I do find him arrogant and patronising.

The point is, you can read an appearance any way. I think as long you are not displaying offensive symbols, dirty, or showing too much flesh etc, wear what you want. I don't remotely see how that is making the session about you.

My very nice GP wears a purple velvet skirt, has waist-length hair, and plasters her office floor to ceiling with photos of tigers. Not my look, but it says to me that she is a real person.

People aren't micromanaging how you dress. As a therapist/counsellor the most important person in the room is the client. The counsellor should draw as little attention to themselves as possible. It is a very different relationship to a doctor/patient one.

Generally I don't really care about how people have their hair, though dreads do rarely look good on European hair.

However, in a therapist dreads or brightly coloured hair, facial piercings, very revealing/sexualised clothing, a onesie, something achingly hip, slogans etc is a bit "look at me" and would strike me as immature. A sharp/expensive suit would be out of place too.

You want to make people feel comfortable, so something neutral but smart/casual (eg. not jeans and a t-shirt, but not a suit either) to put people at ease. I don't think your aim should be to stand out or get noticed.

My CBT therapist wore a sharp expensive suit. And used a fountain pen. But he was absolutely amazing and sorted out my anguish.

Not at all quite like te idea