To think people would have a problem with their therapist having dreadlocks?

[Buddhagirl]

I used to have dreads, I'm now a cognitive behavioural therapist. I want my dreads back but family have said it will have a negative impact on my job. I'm not sure.

How would you feel about seeing a therapist with crazy hair?

Inspired by a recent aibu post :-)

I don't get the 'therapist being as neutral as possible' argument. Nobody is neutral. Whatever we wear/however we do our hair/the choices we make re our appearance say something about us. People interpret that in various ways depending on their preferences, experiences and outlook.

I.e. I look a certain way. I am not responsible for how you interpret that. However I will orientate the therapeutic session to be wholly about you and your therapeutic needs.

It's more important for me for the therapist to be client focussed, good at their chosen therapy and genuinely empathic rather than what they look like. Behaviour is more important than looks imo.

No Way. People are coming to you based on your skillset not on your appearance.

I do get the neutral as possible thing. Of course, if I wear a crochet brooch, it may not be your style but it wouldn't alienate most people. I would feel uncomfortable talking to someone with a pierced eyebrow and lip, and a pink mohican, as a therapist (even though I think it's a really cool look!) - and I think a lot of people would.

I don't think the ethnic thing is a red herring at all. I wouldn't have a problem with a black person (male or female) with dreads as it works on that kind of hair. No point pretending everyone has the same kind of hair.

It wouldn't bother me at all.

I don't dress or appear like the stereotypical social worker. I have found that to be nothing but an asset to my job.
People are very relieved when they realise I'm down to earth.

Woah! Lots of replies. Thanks loads everyone who said they would not mind :-)

If you get dreads right then you don't get loads of scalp showing or messines and they don't have to look weird on white people (I'm white). I wash my hair everyday, dreads or not. Mine would always be neat and tied back, so not in your/my face. I'm also pretty sure I could establish a strong therapeutic relationship that transcended the dreads.

Think now I'll start with seeker ;-) My supervisors would not have a problem with it. I used to self harm and they don't think it's acceptable for me to wear long sleeves in the summer and it's OK to show my scars (personally I disagree and that is a step too far!). Anyway, I think there are two people in the room and if one is being as neutral as possible and that is not who they are then it's fake and not therapeutic.

Some people have said dreads are attention seeking 'for a therapist'. Why would the fact that someone is a therapist make it too attention seeking? We are humans too!

Also why should this perceived blank screen advantage have an impact on therapists lives outside of work? In terms of my work CBT is a collaborative approach, of course the most important person is the patient, but a blank screen is very old school/psychodynamic and minimal, appropriate self disclosure is encouraged.

Waffly put it really well... People are going to have preferences in every direction. Personally I would find a perfectly groomed therapist far harder to pour my soul out to than someone who looked more alternative and maybe open-minded, but that's probably my prejudice too!

Also, it depends on what type of therapy you're looking to do, right? Investment bankers may feel that someone with locks doesn't understand their corporate pressure, but kids may think you're a lot easier to talk to than someone who dresses like a parent.

Only challenge I can think of is if you are ever likely to be needing to testify/make controversial assessments on your client's behalf, my friend who works on behalf of refugees always looks very polished, as she says it helps her cases look more serious and less like a bleeding-heart defence.

I think as long as you are mindful that it will put some people off, and are willing to accept that, then I don't think it is a problem. Personally I wouldn't care, but I used to have a support worker at the CMHT who had lots of visible tattoos, and he told me that some of the people he saw didn't like that, and I suppose this would be a similar thing. I think the percentage of people who will be unhappy with it depends on your client base as others have said.

Your clients presumably don't have a choice. If you were in private practice would you do this? Would you expect to get let clients as a result?

wouldn't
bother me, the whole 'alternative' thing isn't really anymore, everyone
does it. The people who stand out to me are those who look amazing
naturally.

They do have a choice in that if they don't like me theoretically they could ring the main office and ask for another one. I always ask people at the end of the assessment if they are happy to go into treatment with me, so if they were assertive they could say no.

If I was in private practice that would have no impact upon my decision about dreads, would I expect to lose patients as a result? Maybe! But I doubt it because I'm so damn nice ;-)

"They do have a choice in that if they don't like me theoretically they could ring the main office and ask for another one. I always ask people at the end of the assessment if they are happy to go into treatment with me, so if they were assertive they could say no."

It is possible that if they were assertive they wouldn't be in therapy.

Yes but if they weren't assertive enough to answer buddha to her face, they could still phone the main office later and ask for someone else.

Obviously caucasian and afro hair is very different, I'm not denying that. But the people who tend to say "white people shouldn't have dreads" don't seem to have the same problem with black people having chemically relaxed or straightened hair, or causcasian type weaves...same difference as far as I'm concerned. Forcing the hair to do what it doesn't do naturally.

I'm fine with either, I just get a bit bored of people telling me I want to be black, or that I'm ugly because I happen to be white and wear dreads. Sure, they're extensions, but generally most people think it is my hair.

Even that's a pretty bloody assertive thing to do!

I don't think white people shouldn't have dreads, I just think it is rarely suits them/looks good.

That's kind of what I think Maja, it's from a purely aesthetic POV from me.
I just don't like the pink scalps with the mousey brown dreads coming out.
Scarlett, yours are not what I'd call dreads really.

As far as I understand it, white people have dreadlocks is considered a form of racism in some parts of the world. It certainly is an issue in the US - there is lots of stuff on the internet about this. I don't know if Black British people also perceive it as a racist statement, but I think it's important to find out if you as a therapist are white (which I'm not clear on from this thread) and some of your clients are black.

I've been having appointments with an NHS Psychologist until recently; she was a very glam lady with tight dresses, a perfect blow dry, lots of make up, expensive watch & handbag, & very high heels.

Basically i was very depressed & could not be bothered to even shower or dress in anything but a men's hoody & leggings.

In a way, having a glamourous Psychologist made me start to care about my appearance again mainly because i thought; ''what must she think of me looking a right mess'' - i started to shower before appointments ( I arrived late the first time with dripping wet hair but she said she appreciated the effort i made).

I also started to wear nice clothes again & even make up; now i'm almost better & i'm back showering every day & looking a bit glam myself!

I think dreads are fine if they are tied back & you look smart.

It's definitely true that the way a therapist or anyone else dresses does affect how you view that person.

Personally, I think it would put me off you, but then again, there would be plenty of people who wouldn't mind it and might even prefer your having dreads.

So to answer your question, I would look for another therapist. But I don't really agree with your family that it will negatively affect your job.

I am white but my dreads would be 'padded out' with fake hair like scarlet ladies, so mine would not have scalp showing.

I'm thinking it's too much hassle and I'll just conform.

Anyway, my dh just said 'oh no don't get your dreads back, you will look like a child, do you want to look like you live in a squat? I would fancy you less' cheers!

It would not bother me at all. I think I would be surprised rather than disappointed to see dreads on people in some professional capacities, but something touchy-feely like therapy or counselling is not one of them.

Are people aware that the majority of black people you will see with dreads aren't rastafarians?

They just wear their hair like that for either the 'look' ie a fashion statement, or so they can have a fairly low maintenance hairstyle.

Thin, neat dreads are fashion dreads.

Big chunky 'messy' looking ones would be on the whole the sort that a genuine rasta would have.

Real rastas often have a problem with what they consider 'fake dreads' on black people.

I know a number of black people with 'fake' dreads, I know some white people with dreads, but they do actually follow rastafarianism, the white ones would be considered more 'genuine'

I don't know any of the 'trsutafarian' types though.

You can see from some of the replies here though, that some people have negative associations with dreadlocks, 'dirty' 'messy' 'not professional' 'smelly' so the OP would have to consider some folks small mindedness.

I don't see how they could be any more offensive than regular hair
extensions, false lashes, fake tan or loads of foundation - it's all
trying to look different but actually looking similar to thousands of
others.