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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be sick and tired of the older generation..

72 replies

WaterfallsOver · 21/03/2013 14:00

Not really that sweeping, but specifically gps/parents of adult children who talk crap about how wonderful they were at parenting and how the current generation is failing. Recent examples:

-'my grandson is afraid of dogs, I would never have allowed that. All my children liked animals'

-'my gcs are five and can't swim, my dil just doesn't do much with them'

-'I saw a child watching a cartoon on an iPad while the parents chatted and ate dinner in the restaurant, it's lazy parenting, I bet the parents were really pleased when iPads were invented as it meant they could ignore their children'

Perhaps it's just my parents/pil and other gps I know who do this, I can't believe they were all perfect parents though, much as they think they were and throw stones now...

OP posts:
juneau · 21/03/2013 14:05

When I think back to my own childhood I remember my mother being on the phone for HOURS every day to her best friend. Whenever she criticises my parenting, I make sure to remind her of that Grin

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 21/03/2013 14:06

Some of them need to take their rose coloured spectacles off....am sure their memory gets a bit hazy after a good few years. Selective memorising, that's what I call it :)

ElliesWellies · 21/03/2013 14:08

Haha, my mum does this. She claims she wasn't a shouty parent. She used to shout all the time - neither my sister nor I took it seriously, it happened so often!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 21/03/2013 14:10

YABU.... You'll do it in due course. Just part of the circle of life... :)

HeySoulSister · 21/03/2013 14:23

I have an adult child... I do it!!

She's 18 and some of her friends have babies.

My favourite is 'dd was weaned from 12 weeks and look at her now!'

It all changes so fast! I guess the older gen don't read up on the reasons and why fors when it comes down to it

Nagoo · 21/03/2013 14:27

You forgot talking in sentences at a year old and being potty trained by 6MO.

Soon it will be our turn :)

Nagoo · 21/03/2013 14:28

12 weeks? My Uncles were on beef pudding 'juice' at 6 weeks :o

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/03/2013 14:31

I got this from my Aunt the other day, "mothers now have it so easy nowadays". She had SERVANTS.

TheNebulousBoojum · 21/03/2013 14:37

Somehow this reminds me of the mother of the zoologist Gerald Durrell.
He was describing the challenges of rough camping in the jungle, and she said that she remembered well how difficult it was when they'd been camping in India and the elephant carrying the dinner service was somehow mislaid and they had to eat from tin instead of bone china and crystal. Smile

My mother never reminisces about what a fantastic parent she was, and I love her for it.

Pandemoniaa · 21/03/2013 14:49

My mother was brilliant. I remember her admitting just how hopeless she was with teenagers. In fairness, she had been. But she never dished out superior and unwanted advice (unlike former MIL) and it is something I avoid doing as a gm now. But then I fight against the whole idea of being the "older generation". In my head I am still 27...

MyBalletShoes · 21/03/2013 15:15

DS is only 5 months but I avoid talking to DH's Grandad about him. Nothing we do is right, our parenting is 'ridiculous' Hmm

What irritates me is, when it comes to feeding, sleeping in same room, age of weaning etc, we follow the guidelines of the day. When raising his children, he followed the guidelines of his day. Doesn't mean either was or is wrong, you just do the best you can do at the time, based on the information you have.

Here's hoping I remember this in the future and keep my own mouth closed! Smile

PurplePidjin · 21/03/2013 15:58

My Gran insists that all three of her labours lasted no more than 12 hours from the first sign and gas and air was taken merely to pacify the nurses.

Yeah. Right. She's 92 and her youngest is 55. Hindsight is a wonderful thing otherwise we'd all only have the one

BettyandDon · 21/03/2013 16:05

My mother tells me off for feeding DD any form of treat. She says I and my brother just ate what was given to us. That may or may not have been the case, but I do recall as soon as I went to school the treats I used to get coming home from school were so amazing that I was the most popular kid on the block. I got a pasty/stickybun/empire biscuit AND a packet of sweets (fruit pastilles / jelly tots / tooty fruities / smarties).

Throughgrittedteeth · 21/03/2013 16:29

My mum used to joke with my Dnana that whenever I had a tantrum or kicked off she would say that I was tired when 9/10 I was being a brat. Fast forward to my DS and my DM does EXACTLY the same thing Grin u pull her up on it all the time but she can't help herself!

bangwhizz · 21/03/2013 16:33

YABU because we never judge parenting on MN do we NOOOOO !!!

thebody · 21/03/2013 16:39

It's what people do though isn't it? Depends on the degree of interference though. Thick skin and a sense of humour needed on by all generations.

My older 2 are in their twenties and constantly patronise me in a loving way. I mean what do I know of life? Bless them.

KitchenandJumble · 21/03/2013 16:45

Don't worry. In 20 years' time, the current parents of young children will be doing exactly the same thing. In addition, all the guidelines will have changed, new concerns will have been raised, and the next crop of parents will look back in sheer horror at the parenting trends and techniques of 2013.

Froggy2013 · 21/03/2013 20:59

www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/newsreview/features/article1227006.ece

My mother cut this article out of the paper and sent it to me, along with a note about how she "couldn't agree more with the comment on buggies".

Her favourite one is "we just used to get on with it".

devon00 · 21/03/2013 21:14

O yes my mil telling my 5 year old who has issues with toileting (poos) that dh and sil were trained at 18 months., or and he is naughty because he is allowed to get away with it.

b4bunnies · 21/03/2013 21:18

just had a quick check... my adult daughter hasn't posted yet....Wink

NigellasGuest · 21/03/2013 21:21

I was potty trained at 3 months Hmm

cory · 21/03/2013 21:26

My mother was actually very good and sensible and moderate at the time, as I remember it. It's only in retrospect that she has developed this annoying perfection.

Her most annoying obsession is that money was ever so tight when we were little and she was always ever so careful with it and never spoilt us or indulged us in any way. Mildly annoying for me, having been rather worse off for pretty well all my married life. Very annoying for my (ex)-SIL who grew up in real poverty.

But it seems a family trait: my grandfather was always going on about the medieval primitive-ness of his childhood home, a place where, we were given to understand, you cooked off a stone hearth and 11 people dined off one herring. My aunt has been doing genealogy: we have the inventory of the house. Yes, his father had bad debts and it must have been scary for the children, but it wasn't some kind of medieval hovel.

paintyourbox · 21/03/2013 21:30

Heehee when I was pg my mum told me labour was just like bad period pain and she didn't need pain killers.

she forgot the epidural!!!

Mintyy · 21/03/2013 21:33

If you didn't mean it to be that sweeping why didn't you make a tiny bit more effort to create a better thread title then op?