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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell DS that no, he can't have chocolate spread sandwiches for his packed lunch?

72 replies

poachedeggs · 18/03/2013 07:15

He's 5 and going through a very argumentative, pestery phase.

Apparently his friends often have chocolate spread sandwiches, or pancakes and jam, for packed lunch. We've got a bit of chocolate spread in the cupboard leftover from a cookie recipe I made on Saturday.

I told him it's not a very healthy lunch, when he usually has tuna or cheese or something. He'll also have a small oat and raisin muffin and a tub of yogurt and fruit.

The thing is, he's sugar obsessed. I'd dearly love to give him free reign to see if he gets it out of his system, but he's properly mad about sweet things. Unfortunately my saying no seems to make it even more desirable. I try to give stuff that's going to be sweet but not processed fast-release crap.

Really, chocolate spread sandwiches? I'm apparently being the worst mother ever. AIBU? I can take it!

OP posts:
GeordieCherry · 18/03/2013 07:17

He won't get it out of his system. Sugar is really addictive. Stick to your guns!

cleofatra · 18/03/2013 07:17

I'm surprised the school allows chocolate spread and jam.

HousewifeFromHeaven · 18/03/2013 07:19

I let mine have it on a Friday. Everything in moderation!

Original poster
poachedeggs · 18/03/2013 07:19

No packed lunch rules apart from no peanut butter. I'd LOVE packed lunch rules!

OP posts:
twofaceshenanigans · 18/03/2013 07:19

Mine have chocolate spread sandwiches on a Friday, that's my compromise.

It's all about moderation.

Original poster
poachedeggs · 18/03/2013 07:25

I like the Friday idea.

He's left a lot of his breakfast, and he has a long walk this morning because he has to walk to the CM's then to school, so he can have tuna as planned but I'll give him money for the playtime tuck shop. Which has "healthy snacks" such as cheese toasties and jammy pancakes and toast Hmm

OP posts:
twofaceshenanigans · 18/03/2013 07:27

You seem very anxious about food.

wigglesrock · 18/03/2013 07:29

My 5 year old has chocolate spread sandwiches about once a fortnight for school lunches. The rest of the time she has tuna, chicken, cucumber. She also occasionally has jam sandwiches (ducks for cover) Wink

Original poster
poachedeggs · 18/03/2013 07:30

Very perceptive. I am. I've got my own problems with it so I try hard to encourage DS to eat well to keep his body strong and healthy, but without obsessing. He does get crisps, sweets, puddings etc, I don't withhold anything completely. But he does need moderated. His BMI was also very very high before Christmas so I have to be careful.

OP posts:
CookieLady · 18/03/2013 07:30

I'm another one who makes chocolate spread sandwich only on Fridays.

HollyBerryBush · 18/03/2013 07:33

If you make something 'forbidden' it becomes highly 'desirable'.

At that age, the way they chase round at playtime, 5yo's are always on the go.

I can't believe anyone is measuring the BMI ofa 5yo, to me that is very sad. you should be able to look and see whether his clothes are too tight, and judge whether it's a growth spurt coming, or simply one too many out of the quality street. Weighing and measuring child of that age is the right way to go to give them hang ups for life.

Sugarice · 18/03/2013 07:34

Is the no peanut butter rule because of other children with an allergy?

Once a week having a chocolate sandwich seems fine to me.

You say his bmi is very high, is he active?

williaminajetfighter · 18/03/2013 07:36

Long ago I used to work in advertising/marketing for Nutella. Believe it or not Nutella has more protein and less fat than peanut butter (although sugar...).

This was an important point of difference in America where PB was very popular. I'm just saying that there is some nutrition in choc spread...

Original poster
poachedeggs · 18/03/2013 07:41

The school measures the BMI, nothing to do with me. It's only thanks to google I discovered his was 95th centile, the nurse said she would have phoned if it was over 98%! He's oblivious, and I'm confident he's not seriously overweight as an individual. He was chubby but has slimmed down a bit. He swims 2-3 times a week, does football and a kids exercise club, plus walks to school etc. All because he wants to, I'm not madly forcing him to exercise or anything!

The peanut butter rule is to do with allergies.

Nothing is forbidden, it's just moderated (to his disgust, understandably if other kids get something every day which he's only allowed occasionally).

I hadn't thought of the Friday idea, so I think we'll do that. He'll love it and it might stop the pestering!

OP posts:
Cat98 · 18/03/2013 07:43

I'm with you, op. ds is also in reception and this sort of thing drives me a bit bonkers- I always try and make ds a healthy lunch with a cake on Fridays - however he often comes home having hardly eaten anything and I eventually get out of him he's been eating his friends' biscuits/crisps etc instead! (No lunch rules at his school either).

For the people saying not to restrict - where do you draw the line? There has to be a line, or they (well my ds anyway) would eat rubbish all the time.

pooka · 18/03/2013 07:43

If its nutella then that would come under the allergy ban at our school.

My dcs love nutella sandwiches but never have them at school because of the nut issue. Could you tell him that as a reason?

PseudoBadger · 18/03/2013 07:44

Funny the school doesn't want peanut butter, but are happy with Nutella. In fact, it's almost nuts :o

mercibucket · 18/03/2013 07:47

School dinners instead? I make mine have them for exactly this reason, as ds1 would just pester every day otherwise

DragonMamma · 18/03/2013 07:47

YANBU

DD has packed lunches twice a week and I would feel guilty if one of them was chocolate spread - I don't think the school 'allows' it anyway.

What gets on my nerves is the kids that apparently don't eat any fruit at break time and are allowed a 'healthy' cereal bar instead, which makes DD nag to take them, even though she loves fruit. Surely there has to be ONE fruit a kid will eat?!

notactuallyme · 18/03/2013 07:53

We have a few rules - would that help you to set some? Eg sweetie day after school once a week, fun cereal at the weekend, sugary pudding at the weekend, allowed to watch a dvd in bed fri and sat nights etc etc _ we all know where we are then, and nothing is banned, but just restricted.

BinarySolo · 18/03/2013 08:01

Nutella probably escapes the allergy ban as its hazelnuts rather than peanuts. I think peanut is the more common nut allergy.

Blessyou · 18/03/2013 08:17

My DS had choc spread butties (the Philadelphia one) for the first time last week in his lunch.

I balanced it by giving him, cheese cubes, sugar snap peas, grapes, and tomatoes to go with it. He was delighted.

SavoyCabbage · 18/03/2013 08:29

Here is a chocolate spread recipe. It's really easy to make and then you can use good ingredients.

MummyPig24 · 18/03/2013 08:34

My ds is also sugar obsessed but he knows now that I won't give him jam or chocolate spread sandwiches in his lunchbox. We have no lunchbox rules but he usually has ham, cheese, salami, marmite, he prefers things like tuna and egg at home but not in his lunch of strangely. He has other things like wraps, pittas and honours etc. Then fruit, yogurt and sometimes a cereal bar or babybel. He is 5 too. He has a biscuit or something after school so he is pretty happy with that arrangement. He has 2 school dinners a week where pudding is cake or something which he is, of course, delighted with! I just try and achieve a balance but don't tell him that some food is good or bad. Just that its food but some foods make you stronger!

Wishiwasanheiress · 18/03/2013 08:34

I grew up on jam sandwiches and stuff. (Late 70's baby) it wouldn't kill him. That said, that was about all that was sugary. Today everything is so its harder to view as a treat. I'd stick to ur guns, proper sandwich and sugar as a treat.