to tell DS that no, he can't have chocolate spread sandwiches for his packed lunch?

[poachedeggs]

He's 5 and going through a very argumentative, pestery phase.

Apparently his friends often have chocolate spread sandwiches, or pancakes and jam, for packed lunch. We've got a bit of chocolate spread in the cupboard leftover from a cookie recipe I made on Saturday.

I told him it's not a very healthy lunch, when he usually has tuna or cheese or something. He'll also have a small oat and raisin muffin and a tub of yogurt and fruit.

The thing is, he's sugar obsessed. I'd dearly love to give him free reign to see if he gets it out of his system, but he's properly mad about sweet things. Unfortunately my saying no seems to make it even more desirable. I try to give stuff that's going to be sweet but not processed fast-release crap.

Really, chocolate spread sandwiches? I'm apparently being the worst mother ever. AIBU? I can take it!

For what its worth I want to give DD something in a sandwich that I know will be eaten..... so she does have chocolate spread and jam sandwiches on a regular basis...she is very fussy about what goes into her sandwiches, so I'd rather give her something I know will be eaten. Sometimes she has a rice salad or pasta salad, which I think is healthier, but she doesn't like this every day.

In my defense for giving her this, I will say that she does however love fruit and veg, so there is normally a pot of sliced apple, grapes, cherry tomatoes, and carrot sticks. As well as a yogurt.
DD has an well balanced and varied diet at home, so I don't think a jam/ chocolate sandwich has too many adverse effects as it only a small part of her overall diet. She is one of the tallest in her class, skinny, very healthy, and very beautiful (not that I'm biased!)

kids lie.
cereal bars are almost solid sugar - give him a small chocolate bar instead. Cheaper too.

If he is 95th percentile that just means he is one of the biggest/tallest kids in a world where everyone is different.

sounds like a whole bunch of nothing to worry about!

I don't see once a week as a treat, I think thats fairly regular. A treat to me is something you don't often get, hence why it's a treat.

I wouldn't give chocolate spread sandwiches if I could help it, although once in a while I probably would. I wouldn't send them into school with it though, it would be a weekend or holiday treat or something.

I don't do sweet sandwiches for school lunches (they have peanut butter and choc spread toast with banana at w/e sometimes). They have a protein based s/w or wrap or pasta salad. Sometimes they have cold hm pizza, sausage rolls or coctail sausages. Fruit and milk is offered by the school but they will always take fruit or veg from home. Yoghurt is a bit messy for my 2 - they generally have one for dessert in the evening anyway. They may share a pack of wotzits and I even cut a penguin in half (tight wad). There is a no junk rule at school but they serve chocolate sponge or jelly and icecream for hot meals so I ingnore the rules (except the nut allergy one).

Children's BMIs are comparative. They are not the same as adult BMIs. The is not a single range within which they should be, but there is a centile chart going a guide to where the average child is at each age. They are a rough indicator of relative weight.

I'd be keen to hear from anyone who can provide me with evidence or advice that they're irrelevant. I'll pass it on to the school nurse who administers the national measurements programme on behalf of the NHS in this area. She can put the Chief Medical right on my behalf

DS was definitely chubby. I take the BMI thing with a big pinch of salt. He's a little shorter than average, very muscular and broad shouldered, so it doesn't take a lot for the BMI to look unfavourable.

He had chocolate spread on toast after tea tonight and was very happy with it.

Thanks for all your comments, really interesting to hear everyone else's take on this.

giving a guide to

What a gob-smacking thread - the OP gets practically told off for feeling anxious about putting chocolate spread sandwiches in a lunchbox that already has a muffin, yogurt and fruit.

People actually give their children nutella sandwiches once a week?

No wonder everyone is always so defensive on the threads where a poster dares to express concern about child (or adult!) obesity!

And people are concerned about horse meat!

People in this country are totally, unbelievably, shockingly deluded about what constitutes a healthy diet.

Horsemeat scandal 'could make pupils switch to unhealthy packed lunches'

you seem really uptight about food nutella is healthy in moderation there is nothing wrong with it, My dds are older but I used to do the once in a blue moon chocolate spread sandwiches everything in moderation , of course he is your son but try and not be so uptight about food sugar is not herion

Whats important to me is that my DD has a balanced diet over the whole day and ultimately a varied balance diet over a week/month.

It may sound heretical to some, but in moderation jam or choc spread sandwiches can be part of a healthy lifestyle, DD had a jam sandwich at school today, along with an apple, a yogurt and juice smoothie. When she came home, it was a home-made fairy cake and glass of milk. Later she had homemade vegetarian chilli topped with cheese and served with rice, followed by homemade apple crumble and custard.

For a balanced diet you need to look at the whole day or longer, not just focus on one element of one meal.

That is true purple, but I think that most people don't really understand what a healthy diet is.

Homemade cakes and things are lovely, but what you described is a diet consisting largely of sugar and other refined carbohydrates:

Jam sandwich, apple, yogurt, juice smoothie, fairy cake and apple crumble - all in the course of one day.

Whilst I don't think you should make a food forbidden, there's nothing wrong with kids viewing it as a very occasional treat. When we first moved into pubs, my parents thought that allowing us free access to bottles of coke would put us of the stuff. Oddly enough, no, it didn't. It was tasty and fizzy and filled with sugar.

That said, we'd never have been allowed a chocolate sandwich, and as nobody else had them we never asked either. Is it more normal now? Chocolate spread was a massive treat when we were kids.

Could you not say to him, "look, your sandwich is the main bit of your lunch, so it has to be "proper" food, and chocolate isn't the type of stuff we have for main meals is it? It's a desert, and a treat. So, you can pick your favourite from tuna, cheese, and all the rest. And if there's a salad bit you really don't like, we'll leave it out, but you have to have proper food to fill you up. And here, I've popped a chocolate biscuit in so you can have a chocolate desert for after you've done your best to eat your sandwich".

That was basically a very long winded way of saying give him his favourite sandwich, and then throw in a penguin biscuit as a treat/sugary snack for after he's had it.

Beyond giving him stuff he likes as the "main bit" of the meal, not giving him stuff he hates, and throwing in a biscuit, I wouldn't be negotiating on what he gets to eat at that age tbh.

I never put sugar or treats on DD´s packed lunch, because I know that she would eat them first and then be too full.

Our allowed "lunchbox treats" are: Nked bars, a good alternative to chocolat bars, rice milk, olives, roasted beetroot (she loves all those things), cherry tomatoes, strawberries, mango, melon... Just find out what your son likes (apart from chocolat and sugar) and encourage him to try different foods.

Good grief.

'Jam or chocolate spread sandwiches in the school lunch bag are heretical'.

That would be in the Mumsnet Bubbleworld...

Dd had chocolate and peanut butter sandwich on Sunday for her lunch, it was only one piece of whole wheat bread and a smidge of each but still, she loved it, it's a rare treat.

So if packed lunches aren't supposed to have anything with sugar in are the schools also stopping puddings?

Heretical? Did I miss a post somewhere? (Very possible, it's late and my bedtime is overdue!)

It's hardly crime of the century, I just find it a little odd. To my mind, you might as well shove two chocolate biscuits or whatever in the lunchbox, and not bother with the pretense of a sandwich. I've nowt against a jam sandwich (especially if it's strawberry jam... mmm!) but it's always been more of a treat than a meal to me, same with chocolate spread.

Other people are happy for the kids to have a "woohoo it's Friday" chocolate sandwich. Each to their own!

Hi MarianneM, it is actually well balance, not carbo top heavy, probably more so than you seem to appreciate. (her diet is rich in protein, fresh vitamins, minerals and calcium). Also bear in mind I also said it was important to balance dds diet over a reasonable period of time ie over a week/month. eg fish roughly 10 times a month , but not on that particular day.

By the way the jam was home made by a friend, and absolutely delicious!!!!!!

An odd chocolate spread sandwich will do no harm as part of an overall balanced diet.

Interesting that peanut butter is banned but Nutella is fine.

I am moderately allergic to Nutella :(

I think it's vanishingly unusual to be contact allergic to hazlenuts- it's peanuts that are the real danger,