Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why it's ok to insult slim people but not overweight people on MN?

120 replies

RidingInCarsWithBoys · 17/03/2013 21:55

Just for the record I don't think it's ok to insult anyone over looks/weight/height etc.

But seriously some of the comments I have read about slim people on here are just disgusting.

Slim people look "poorly", "aged" are "boring" etc.

For some reason it seems ok on here to make nasty comments directed at slim people, but if you dare make a comment about overweight people you will get flamed by the flames of hell.

Aibu?

OP posts:
MixedBerries · 17/03/2013 22:05

YANBU. I don't get it either.

LadyKinbote · 17/03/2013 22:08

Not seen the comments you're referring to but of course it's unacceptable to make fun of someone's size whether they're fat or thin. I think people assume that because the fashion industry makes such a big deal about underweight women it's okay to point out that being underweight isn't necessarily ideal but there's no need to do that in a bitchy way and certainly not as a personal attack.

HollyBerryBush · 17/03/2013 22:10

I'm not sure either - everyone on MN announces they are a healthy size 8/10 occasionally as 12 and perpetually dig at Mrs Average who is a size 16+

So much for the sista solidarity.

ScentedNappyHag · 17/03/2013 22:10

I haven't seen any comment like that personally, but I think anyone insulting anyone else for the way the look is pitiful and probably compensating for their own shitty self esteem. Unacceptable about fatties or thinnies.

WorraLiberty · 17/03/2013 22:12

YANBU

I generally call people on both.

I do tend to shake my head at the assumption all fat people 'stuff their faces'...and all slim people 'push a lettuce leaf around a plate'.

It's stereotyping, stupid and ignorant.

And don't even start me on posters who generally slag off the looks of (usually) female celebs on this public forum....and then blame men and the media for women feeling under pressure to look good?! Confused

It's madness but part of the charm of MN Grin

twinklesparkles · 17/03/2013 22:14

Yanbu

Sallystyle · 17/03/2013 22:14

YANBU.

I have been overweight and I have been tiny slim. I get more negative comments now I am slim than I ever did when I was fat.

Shakey1500 · 17/03/2013 22:17

Ah yes Worra I'm frequently bemused at the "all women are conditioned" threads Grin

I think it's because people assume that if a large person is insulted because of their size, it is unfair and will hurt feelings but it's ok to insult a thin person because all thin people can take it as they skip through corn fields all day clasping flower baskets with nary a care in the world and it will be water off a ducks back because they are so lucky and at peace Hmm

Which, of course, is utter bollocks.

crashdoll · 17/03/2013 22:20

Actually, I've seen equal amounts of both thin and fat bashing. And also, equal amounts of people saying "that is not on".

CooEeeEldridge · 17/03/2013 22:24

YANBU!

yaimee · 17/03/2013 22:27

I don't think it is. I'm overweight and would never dream of insulting anyones looks or body.
only people with low self esteem feel the need to comment on other peoples appearance.

Bluelightsandsirens · 17/03/2013 22:30

Yanbu

KatyTheCleaningLady · 17/03/2013 22:37

If you are a little bit above the ideal weight, nobody remarks on it. If you are slightly below, people make comments.

I mean, if the "ideal" weight for your frame is 125 and you weigh 140, nobody notices. But if you're 110 then people feel free to say bitchy things.

It's been a few years since I attracted that sort of attention, but I didn't like it. I didn't diet or try to be thin. And I didn't like the comments about "real women" having curves, etc.

Darkesteyes · 17/03/2013 22:38

I dont think ANYONE should be derided for what they look like for ANY reason.

Spotted this article last week. Really made me RAGE.

www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/fat-girl-rodeo-and-pull-a-pig-games-the-banter-shag-lads-need-to-grow-up-8531278.html

WorraLiberty · 17/03/2013 22:41

Exactly Katy

When I was underweight as a teenager, people tended to assume I was underweight because I was trying to be/wanted to be...and nothing could have been further from the truth.

And due to their assumptions, they thought nothing of giving me ignorant and rather 'public' advice such as "Why don't you get a decent meal inside ya love?"

Oh yes eating! Now why the fuck didn't I think of that in my quest for weight gain?

OhDearieDearieMe · 17/03/2013 22:42

I've not seen any such comments OP but I absolutely think it's not ok to insult anyone using any part of their physical appearance as a basis for insult. Height, weight, hair colour, optical status - anything at all. Not ok.

OhDearieDearieMe · 17/03/2013 22:43

Except worra who is clearly a scrawny gobshite!

WorraLiberty · 17/03/2013 22:46
Original poster
RidingInCarsWithBoys · 17/03/2013 22:46

And I didn't like the comments about "real women" having curves, etc.

This. Definitely.

I saw a comment saying something along the lines of I look good now I have curve and before I had a boys figure.

It's just rude.

OP posts:
PeppaFuckingPig · 17/03/2013 22:46

Where are these threads insulting slim people?

I've only ever seen the 'fat bashing' ones. Overweight isn't attractive, obese children not fitting into school uniforms, overweight people at swimming pools etc etc. Can't think of any slim bashing threads i've seen.

Original poster
RidingInCarsWithBoys · 17/03/2013 22:48

I lost a stone (in 3 months - so hardly crash dieting) and that made me roughly 11stone. For my height that would put my bmi as normal, but more at the higher end.

I got told by two friends that they were worried about me because I looked ill Hmm and then one even said you look better now because you've put it all back on - lovely.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 17/03/2013 22:48

Peppa there have been loads to be fair.

Not necessarily 'threads' but comments that don't always get pulled up...but often get agreed with.

Celeb bashing threads are always a good place to start if you want to find comments about 'scrawny' 'pre-pubescent' looking women.

Darkesteyes · 17/03/2013 22:49

Exactly Peppa. And i cant imagine the stuff thats written about in the article above happening to a slim person.

Mintyy · 17/03/2013 22:50

If insulting comments are made about thin people on Mumsnet then they are immediately jumped on and shouted down, ime.

freddiefrog · 17/03/2013 22:50

And I didn't like the comments about "real women" having curves, etc.

Me neither. Men like 'real women' and 'you're far too thin'. Never actually worked what I was far too thin for though. Morris dancing maybe?

I'm pretty sure if I replied with 'well, you're far too fat' I'd have been ripped to pieces.

I remember pulling a friend up on it years ago and she seemed to think that because I was thin I should be able to take it on the chin

Bashing people whatever their weight/height/etc/etc is not on