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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To refuse to pay for School leaving party without seeing the quotes?

358 replies

Sunnymeg · 17/03/2013 08:57

DS leaves primary in July. Traditionally the leavers have a limousine to a nearby restaurant, a party there and the parents pick them up at the end. I know from other parents that in previous years this came to around £25 and I'm completely happy with that.
All the year 6 mums had a chat, about the leavers, do at the school gates and one of the parents offered to organize it. This is a parent who has had older children leave the primary and knows how it works. She said she would ring around, email everyone to let them know the costs and if everyone was happy she would book the limo and the restaurant.

Well, we have now heard from her, and she has already booked the limo, and also instead of a restaurant, she has booked a party session at a local play centre, as this is what her daughter wants to do and she thought it was a really good idea. She has asked for a £30 deposit and wants another £20 at the beginning of July. It costs children £12 for a day pass at this centre, and £8 for a birthday party so I can't see how her figures add up. I'm skipping over the fact that our DS doesn't really want to go to the play centre. as it is his last chance to do something with his classmates.

Am I being unreasonable to ask to see the quotes, I admit that I'm annoyed that she has booked the play centre off her own bat, is that clouding my judgment over the whole thing?

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 17/03/2013 18:52

Why does it have to include the whole year?
Are you serious, comfysofas? What part of Leavers party didn't you understand?

comfysofas · 17/03/2013 18:55

But my son does not speak to half the kids and has a close knit circle of about ten.

Why would I do something for kids I dont know and parents who dont care?

The school can do the whole year thing and if its a disco only half will be there.

rottentomatoes · 17/03/2013 18:56

Comfy
I thought you said your DS did know about the Limo? Surely he would have told the other children.

comfysofas · 17/03/2013 18:58

No, none of the kids know.

Lovelygoldboots · 17/03/2013 18:59

comfy sofas your son and his friends do not know about limo. They think they are just having fun at.your house? They don't think that is naff? They sound like great kids and its a.lovely surprise. But it is extravagant. Not every parent can do it. It can be just pop, crisps and a boogie. Nothing that anyone has to shell out large sums for. Then there is no animosity when parents don't or cant pay. Essentially thats all your son thinks he's having anyway.

twooter · 17/03/2013 18:59

So are they all expected to get dressed up in their nice new clothes to run around a play centre? It just seems a bizarre combination - you're nearly adults so have a limo- you're young children so go to a play centre.

SirChenjin · 17/03/2013 19:02

There's a school in Glasgow somewhere that put its foot down when some parents decided that hiring a helicopter would be a good idea. Well done that school.

SirChenjin · 17/03/2013 19:03

helicopter for P7 leaving prom that is

comfysofas · 17/03/2013 19:04

None of the children know anything............. on the last day when photos are being taken we shall just say shall we go back to our house for a drink.

The children will then be told nothing. Then ten minutes before the limo arrives we shall say shall we go bowling and of course they will say yes and then the car will arrive.

rottentomatoes · 17/03/2013 19:07

Chav Wagon
Just made me laugh

givemeaclue · 17/03/2013 19:09

Has op emailed the organiser yet?

lastSplash · 17/03/2013 19:11

I'd do your email as 'reply all' including all the other parents - as long as it is friendly and polite! What if every other parent is likewise contacting her separately as well as texting eachother and gossiping amongst themselves?

Keep it all in the open I reckon - you have a couple of completely legitimate questions, which no doubt all of you would like to hear the answer to.

SirChenjin · 17/03/2013 19:13

So true Rotten Grin

mrsstewpot · 17/03/2013 19:16

Looks like we're never going to agree on this limo issue comfy, and I will pay you you're due with regards to arranging it all well after home time and away from school so those not involved won't be aware of what they're missing out on. I just hope there are no friends who are maybe quieter and less memorable on the fringes of this group of friends who could be left out.

Sorry if your thread has gone off on a tangent OP. I'm partly to blame for that! Blush

Floggingmolly · 17/03/2013 19:18

Love the Chav Wagon Grin. Bet it won't put Comfy off, wonder why?

Sugarice · 17/03/2013 19:20

If the play centre is owned by a relative of the organising mother, that would make me more pissed off at the circumstances surrounding the booking.

More investigations required OP.

Original poster
Sunnymeg · 17/03/2013 19:53

Have just emailed her.

OP posts:
BehindLockNumberNine · 17/03/2013 20:04

YY, definitely question the change of venue (bit suspicious with the family link...)

As for living on Mars because limos are not part of Y6 leavers - I would rather live on Mars than in a place where value is placed on limos and all they stand for...

At our school the Y6 (all 90 of them) get to have a BBQ and swimming pool party (the school has a small outdoor pool and borrow the PTA oil drum BBQ). Then those that want to go into the whole-school disco (junior school so only age 7 - 11 present, no teenies).

They have been doing that for years and years and every year it proves very popular.

Cost is £4 to contribute towards opening the pool, hiring a lifeguard, and a small contribution to the food.
Staff cook the bbq and serve the pupils.

Great fun, very simple but effective.

Rainbowinthesky · 17/03/2013 20:17

I still cannot get over limos for 11 year olds. Very sad that this is deemed appropriate by their parents. It's so far away from my dd's world who is 9 and I hope it stays like this for a lot longer. She has a life time for tacky adult stuff.

StuntGirl · 17/03/2013 20:29

Not a chance in hell I'd pay for a limo for a child.

I would have emailed her too OP, and just queried the cost and the change of plans. If your son isn't bothered by the current plans could you organise something different yourself?

cathers · 17/03/2013 20:31

It does all sound over the top and expensive! I would certainly be questioning the cost and the activities for 10 year olds. Sounds naff and inappropriate.

Our school also has a BBQ after school, followed by a camp fire, marshmallows, tent pitching on the field and a sleep over for the children who want it. Paid for by PTA but costs very little.

elijahwood · 17/03/2013 21:05

Ignore the bores comfy sofas - your DS and his pals will love what you've got planned :)

rottentomatoes · 18/03/2013 07:27

I think it's hilarious that when some posters think something is tacky and inappropriate they are then called boring and bores!

It's very school yardish "Come on let's go for a fag behind the bike shed" No? "You are sooo boorrring"

hamdangle · 18/03/2013 07:36

I didn't even get a limo for my 16 year old DS's prom because he himself said that it was lame and tacky! And the thought of kids turning up in a helicopter is just depressing.

Leaving primary school is a big rite of passage but its only you as a parent who feels that way. Kids don't realise it at the time or care that much.

GrowSomeCress · 18/03/2013 07:37

rotten Grin