To expect people to take there shoes off? Sorry rant ahead!

[Damash12]

We've recently had a new carpet and it's not f@@;ing rocket science to see we have added a shoe rack near the back door but why do people look at you with a put out expression when they ask the question "do I need to take my shoes off?" and you reply "yes". And what's worse is those that know but still choose to walk in and just not bother or the best one, those that keep their shoes on and bloody tip toe around the place, like that makes it ok. I've actually had 1 visitor roll there eyes when I've asked them to come round the back, it's about 5 yards FFS!! Rant over!

It comes down to a very simple choice:

• Option A: run the risk of getting your floors slightly dirtier than they were before, for the benefit of your guests' comfort
• OPTION B: run the risk of making your guests feel embarrassed or uncomfortable (possibly smelly feet, possibly embarrassed at how feet lock, possibly socks or ticghts with holes in) for the sake of keeping your floors pristine.

Obviously, the average British person will always choose Option A. I think some of the trendy yummy mummies trying to get down with the Continent by going for Option B need to remind themselves that nobody gives a flying f&&k about the state of their floors, and also there is something both disgusting and really lame about carpeting downstairs.

Carpets are pretty gross imo and are never clean. I do not understand this weird obsession with them that people on MN seem to have but each to their own I guess.

We have wood and tiles downstairs (with the odd rug) and wood and rugs upstairs. No carpets anywhere = much cleaner house. We welcome people in and would not dream of asking them to remove their shoes.

Even if we did have carpets I would not be rude and ask people to take off their shoes and always feel unwelcome and annoyed if asked to do so myself. In fact the last two times I have been asked to do so I declined and said that I would wait outside which was the preferable option to me.

I was raised by continental European parents in Canada. I was taught never wear shoes in the house and I take them off if I visit someone. Sometimes I'm the only shoeless person at a party. Then I don't know whether to put them back on. I always notice my guests wearing shoes but I don't say anything because it's obviously a cultural thing and I've been laughed at for saying something in the past. I will always see it as dirty to wear shoes in the house.

Do the shoes on people here actually wear shoes in their own houses?

Yes of course - quite often.

Demanding visitors take their shoes off is very rude. Shows you think more of your floor than your guest.

If you are incredibly neurotic about dirt/germs, then hoover your ruddy carpet, or mop your ruddy floor. Or realise that germs aren't confined to shoes...

Trust me, you'd rather I kept mine on, with certain shoes my feet are very smelly.

What do you do if you insist that guests take their shoes off and their feet absolutely stink to high heaven?

ananikifo people take their shoes off in their own house. It's like wearing your PJs. Of course you wear them to lounge around in at home, but you wouldn't as a guest.

Very very rude to expect visitors to remove their shoes, and expose their (possibly bare) feet to your

• floor crumbs and general crud (composed of lord knows what, if my house is anything to go by - I don't especially want yours between my toes thanks)

• draughts

• tights-snagging splinters / tacks

• hard cold germy surfaces in kitchen / bathroom / conservatory (yes you might have a sooper cream-carpeted lounge, but what about everywhere else?)

Especially rude if you're sitting with cosy slippers on while I'm expected to freeze and endure floor crud between my toes .

Why is it more rude to expect someone to take off their shoes in your home than it is to dirty up someone's carpets with dirt from outside? I still can't get my head round that logic. Its far more rude to go to somebody's house and expect to walk all over their carpets with mucky, germy shoes.

ananikifo - in the summer I'll keep my outdoor flip flops on when I go indoors, yes.

In winter I'll take heavy outdoor shoes/boots off and put slippers on, but only because it's more comfortable.

I always wear something on my feet indoors though (unless requested to remove) - I hate going barefoot or wearing only socks even at home.

Carpets are for putting your shoes on.
I never have understood why people do this, especially in this day and age of steamers and carpet cleaners. It seems really snobby and unnecessary. I would never dream of walking on someones carpet with wet or muddy shoes, but otherwise object to taking them off. I am one that just refuses, because it makes me uncomfortable, if you insisted, I wouldn't come again, or make a point of bringing my slippers next time.
Are people not allowed to put a cup down neither?

What about sweaty, germy feet though? You can hoover up grit and grime, but not oily sweat.

That was to WillyandTig

WillyandTig - I don't know, by that logic, why don't we all bring our own crockery and cutlery to avoid the host having to wash up? Or bring our own plastic bottles to avoid placing our backsides on our host's toilet?

I was brought up to believe it is very poor etiquette to ask guests to remove thier shoes. Maybe I'm just a bit too middle class these days :s

Slight difference between eating off crockery (kind of necessary to eat at a hosts house), sitting on the toilet (necessary to do a good poo/wee) and keeping shoes on to walk inside (not necessary at all unless to do with disability and walking).

And lizzy you can't hoover up the bacteria from dog shit, spit and urine that will come in on someone's shoes. Just because its not visible doesnt mean its not there. I'd rather a bit of sweat on my floor where my baby plays than dog shit.

Are people not allowed to put a cup down neither?

You would probably be made to use one of those coaster things!

I think that the answer is to ban carpets as they are germ infested and uncleanable and seem to cause lots of MN angst

Willy, because you are the host. When you invite guests into your home, it is your job to look after them.

WillyandTig - indeed, what about all the human germs that live in your house that you can't see - the toilet mist and splashes on the bathroom floor, sneeze mist, other airborne bacteria, airborne cooking fat from the kitchen... the list goes on an on. Shoes are only a very small part of the muck that invades a house and that I don't want to pick up on my bare feet when I visit thanks

I'm afraid their comfort in tromping around in shoes inside doesn't outweigh my daughters need not to be rolling around in whatever they've stood in while wearing there shoes outdoors.

And I'm fine with the germs that are already in my house. I mean, poo is everywhere after all. I just don't fancy everyone adding to it with shoes that will have all sorts stuck to them. Do you wear shoes in your own house all the time? Because you'll be picking up other people's house germs when they wear their shoes in your house after wearing them in someone else's and getting that on your bare feet at some point or other.

Their shoes outdoors*

We always insist guests keep shoes on....sandstone floors that eat socks.

I don't like removing shoes as different heel heights go with different outfits,I think I may be prepared to wear those plastic overshoes but I would think you were mad-helpfull

WillyandTig - will you not allow your daughter to play at the park? The ground and play equipment will all have been walked on by people wearing shoes.