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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect people to take there shoes off? Sorry rant ahead!

326 replies

Damash12 · 16/03/2013 22:07

We've recently had a new carpet and it's not f@@;ing rocket science to see we have added a shoe rack near the back door but why do people look at you with a put out expression when they ask the question "do I need to take my shoes off?" and you reply "yes". And what's worse is those that know but still choose to walk in and just not bother or the best one, those that keep their shoes on and bloody tip toe around the place, like that makes it ok. I've actually had 1 visitor roll there eyes when I've asked them to come round the back, it's about 5 yards FFS!! Rant over!

OP posts:
countrykitten · 17/03/2013 19:43

In wander around in the summer with bare feet all the time - can't see the issue myself.

Here is a question for the legions of carpet lovers on here. Why, oh why, since you are all obsessed with keeping them 'nice' do you buy pale coloured carpets....? It seems that some of you live your lives in a constant panic that your wonderful white carpet or sofa will gain a mark or blemish of some sort and then you would probably have a meltdown. This is no way to live - and I would HATE to live with a person like that, it must be so stressful for your families.

So..pale carpets....?

SauvignonBlanche · 17/03/2013 19:48

I wouldn't wear shoes in my house and DH and the DCs take theirs off but forcing guests to do so is fucking rude.

pigsDOfly · 17/03/2013 20:07

No Orbis, I don't think he did smell it.

Oddly enough he seemed to somehow be drawn to nasty smelly stuff. If there was any in the street, as sure as eggs are eggs, he would tread in it. Strange.

OrbisNonSufficit · 17/03/2013 20:39

pigs How odd. I sense (pun intended, although happily smell-internet not yet invented) he may be a person who shouldn't be invited inside!

FridgePervert · 17/03/2013 21:27

I can see the logic in removing shoes however I would be totally horrified if I was unexpectedly asked to remove mine. I HATE my feet to the point that
I don't even go barefoot in my own house because I can't bear to look at them,
so to have to do so in someone else's house would be eeeeeeeek!!.
If I think I may have to take my shoes off I usually have a pair of slipper sock things in my bag but I would hate to have to remove my shoes if I didn't have them

pumpkinsweetie · 17/03/2013 21:33

I can see reasons behind a no shoes rule, but imposing it onto guests is a bit ott imo. The carpet can be hoovered and spot cleaned of necessary and i would find it really po faced if someone expected me to remove my shoes.

LilyAmaryllis · 17/03/2013 21:39

It is the OPs house and I really don't think she is being the slightest bit unreasonable to ask people to remove their shoes when they come in.

I ALWAYS take my shoes off going into a house, whether asked to or not.

How RUDE to tramp dirt over someone else's carpet, why would you do that?

countrykitten · 17/03/2013 21:43

I would ask you to damn well put them back on if you did that at my house! No desire whatsoever to see your feet.

WafflyVersatile · 17/03/2013 21:49

You'd think people who were so particularly house proud and like cream carpets would have the good sense to install a door mat for people to wipe their shoes on just in case.

countrykitten · 17/03/2013 21:54

You would think that wouldn't you? Also none of the coaster using cream carpet clan have said why they chose such silly colours for their carpets....

BegoniaBampot · 17/03/2013 22:04

I don't see it about being house proud and protecting carpets (though makes sense) - just why would you wear outside shoes in someone's house. I just think because it's acceptable here people don't really think it through but just do that gut thing of rejecting something 'different'. It did take me living in a country where it is the cultural norm to remove shoes to get it though and it seemed to make perfect sense. Even all my western and UK friends adopted the habit when they could have just continued doing as they had probably done at home - as they realised it made sense.

pigsDOfly · 17/03/2013 22:16

It's nothing to do with being 'houseproud'. It's just the idea of bringing all the filth in from the street.

I sit on the floor quite a lot, when I'm playing with the dog, watching television. I wouldn't sit on the ground in the street, why would I want to sit on a carpet in my own house that has all the disgusting filth from the street on it.

WafflyVersatile · 17/03/2013 22:18

Well I've had a friend make me do it for over 10 years and I've still not seen the need to make people do it in mine. But then I haven't put cream carpet in high tread areas.

If I lived somewhere where it was the norm then I would do it, of course. But it's not the norm here. I always take my shoes off in my own house as soon as I get in. It's more comfortable.

Even when I was growing up in the countryside we only took shoes off in the (tiled) lobby if they were muddy or snowy. And guests were not expected to do this. They would wipe their shoes on the door mat we provided for the purpose and scrape or knock them on the step outside if necessary. Dirt being tramped into the house was rarely a problem except perhaps when my brothers were teenagers and that was into the tiled kitchen.

exoticfruits · 17/03/2013 22:21

I hope that you would put them back on if I asked you to, LilyAmaryllis! Shock I certainly want you to keep them on in my house!

crashdoll · 17/03/2013 22:22

I'd rather someone wore shoes than bare feet on the carpet.

FierceBadIggi · 17/03/2013 22:58

PigsDOfly, do you not see anything odd about making visitors remove shoes while you have a dog in the house? Do you wipe his/her feed, put pants on?

sneezingwakesthebaby · 17/03/2013 23:00

I must admit I don't know what I'll do when summer rolls round and everyone wears sandals. I don't want shoes on my floor and bare feet that aren't mine or dd's makes my eyes twitch a bit. Does this mean I have to get those disposable slippers? :/ Shoes on the floor just isn't an option.

TheVermiciousKnid · 17/03/2013 23:02

We usually advise visitors to keep their shoes on in our house and to wipe their feet on the way out.

GreenEggsAndNichts · 17/03/2013 23:07

Yes sorry, I do shoes-off in my own house (though as I've said upthread, I don't ask visitors to do so) and most other peoples' houses, but if they have dogs I really prefer not to. Their floors are often full of surprises and dirty unless they do their floors daily. If you require all shoes off from humans, then I'd hope you wouldn't have dogs who've walked outside allowed in the areas where you're expecting the humans to walk around in stocking (or worse, bare) feet. bleh.

Mintyy · 17/03/2013 23:11

Its completely lower middle class and below to expect guests to remove their shoes in your home Smile.

GreenEggsAndNichts · 17/03/2013 23:12

Vermincious Grin

I'm not precious about floors. Our family is shoes-off (DH is German, as I've said, and it's quite normal there) and we're happy for people to take theirs off as well, but I'd never ask them to. I'll be honest, I like it because I'm not the best housekeeper around and it gives me one less thing to have to chase after all the time.

GreenEggsAndNichts · 17/03/2013 23:17

Mintty yes I don't know, DH is German and I'm American so I think we fall into 'foreigner' class over here. :) We are probably MC but as I said, I don't expect people to take their shoes off. I couldn't ask a guest to do so; in fact, when DF visits, he might actually sleep with his on, I'm not sure.

The German half of the family is fastidious about it. As you'd expect.

BegoniaBampot · 17/03/2013 23:18

Minty -"Its completely lower middle class and below to expect guests to remove their shoes in your home ."

Is that supposed to be an insult? Consider myself WC - should I feel insulted?

Mintyy · 17/03/2013 23:22

No its supposed to be a joke.

louisianablue2000 · 17/03/2013 23:35

I think it's so precious to demand people take their shoes off to protect your carpet. I wouldn't wear dirty shoes in someone's house but if I'm nicely dressed my shoes are clean. There's an episode of Sex and the City about this!

Even worse are people who insist on removing their shoes uninvited when they come to my house. It feels overfamiliar and makes me itch, yeuch. I never wear shoes at home normally (because it's home) but put them on when we have people coming round so they don't think they can take their shoes off.