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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect people to take there shoes off? Sorry rant ahead!

326 replies

Damash12 · 16/03/2013 22:07

We've recently had a new carpet and it's not f@@;ing rocket science to see we have added a shoe rack near the back door but why do people look at you with a put out expression when they ask the question "do I need to take my shoes off?" and you reply "yes". And what's worse is those that know but still choose to walk in and just not bother or the best one, those that keep their shoes on and bloody tip toe around the place, like that makes it ok. I've actually had 1 visitor roll there eyes when I've asked them to come round the back, it's about 5 yards FFS!! Rant over!

OP posts:

SillyTilly123 · 17/08/2013 07:52

My friend usually wears her boots/shoes in my house-even upstairs ans it pees me off. However I found it was the lesser of 2 evils when one day she took her shoes off (bare feet) and then proceded to tell me about her 5 veruccas . Had to dettol all the downstairs floors when she left.

SillyTilly123 · 17/08/2013 07:55

Oh and fwiw, I dont mind shoes downstairs, but think upstairs should be shoe free. I dont mind taking my shoes off in someones house, though would prefer a bit of warning so i've not got holey socky on.

TheTurdsOfMisery · 17/08/2013 08:08

Sooooooooooo mechanicalsam - what exactly were you thinking of when you resurrected a zombie thread about clean carpets? Oh no! Has someone disrespected your PFC too?

TheTurdsOfMisery · 17/08/2013 08:10

By the way - I just re-read your post. You sound a bit het up. Maybe a sit down and a sandwich?

stupidlybroody · 17/08/2013 08:41

I'm surprised that some people find it bad manners/hosting to expect guests to remove their shoes! If I go into someone's house its automatic to remove my shoes, I don't have to be asked, its just assumed it is expected. I've never had to ask someone to remove their shoes, they've just done it automatically. Its just common courtesy!!

FacebookWanker · 17/08/2013 08:50

I love these threads.

I wouldn't wear shoes if I was visiting someone with a new carpet...people re free to wear shoes in our home if hey please. I old nverk anyone to take their shoes off..

My friend loves opposite someone who makes her husband strip at the fron door when he gets home from work...can't remember hat h oes for. Living..

DD (3yo) is lying on op of me so difficult to type...

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth · 17/08/2013 08:54

damash I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I am less bothered however at the visitors not removing their shoes as I am at my own DH ignoring it, going into the garden and treading mud back in again, grinding in food from the kitchen floor etc. Or worse, treading on my fucking toes (not relating to the carpet but another reason I don't like him wearing shoes!)

I tried to be religious PFC about my carpet. I tried to be anal and grumpy and I got bloody ignored anyway. I have a particular friend who refused to take his shoes off in my house, absolutely refused. He still doesn't but I stopped asking. But, funnily, he now has a £1000 rug in his front room and doesn't like people wearing shoes in there. Imagine my delight...!

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth · 17/08/2013 08:58

and, I don't really get why people want to wear shoes all the time anyway. I wear shoes as little as possible and it just seems normal and common sense that when indoors, you don't need shoes on. What do you need them on for?

PeriodFeatures · 17/08/2013 09:01

What ?!! I'd never though of it as a big issue!!

I am happy to take my shoes off in peoples houses where it is what they do, people sometimes take there shoes of at my house. I think it's quite nice actually, kind of symbolic of leaving the outside outside and coming in and chilling indoors. I don't 'expect' people to do it, it's up to them. I feel a bit pissed off when say the HV comes and takes her shoes off. It worries me that she'll want to stop for hours!

I wouldn't personally choose to have a downstairs carpet but it was here and new when we moved into the house. People look at it and don't want to tread shite in it, i appreciate that. I'm the same if i visit someone with a nice carpet.

pixiegumboot · 17/08/2013 09:05

why would you be baring your feet with shoes off? don't you wear socks with your shoes? and let's face it, it's sandals weather for about 2 days a year here.

melika · 17/08/2013 09:12

YANBU my friend gives a certain look when you are entering her lounge and you feel compelled to take shoes off in the porch.

At the moment, we have 30 year old carpets left by previous owners but when I get new, come hell or high water, no shoes are going to touch it!

MrsMook · 17/08/2013 09:34

Shoes vs bare feet... think my sandals are the lesser of the two crimes. My feet will only do boots or sandals, so from April to October when it's sandal season there will probably be more grime sweated on to the sole of my feet than there was dusted on the sole of the sandal.

I'll take my shoes off if you request, but please don't be under any delusions that it's any more hygenic.
In my own home, I'd rather my guest is comfortable. I don't really care if they are shod or bare foot.

I once spent longer fiddling with a pair of ankle straps on a pair of shoes to enter and leave a house than I did in the flaming house. I was only picking a friend up to go out. Cream carpets in a lounge/ hall/ stairs is absolute idiocy.

jamdonut · 17/08/2013 09:45

I expect those residing within the house to take their shoes off, (and hopefully put their slippers on) but ask visitors,no way. How rude. I would rather they kept them on than have sweaty feet all over,anyway!

Having said that,my daughter's friends are all very polite,and always take their shoes off without being asked.

Haggischucker · 17/08/2013 10:18

I'm on the fence with the issue. We had laminate downstairs and cream carpet from stairs upwards so it was a shoes off if upstairs rule for us. The carpet got ditched though from general wear and tear, was a carpet right cheapie, but have learned the never again cream carpet lesson early on. We have a dark brown one now but friends and family still remove shoes which I think shows respect for my things.

Now I automatically take shoes off when entering houses, (when younger never used to) unless like earlier posters have said, when the floors are a bit suspect. Funnily enough though the exception to the rule is at my parents house where it is the norm to remain in shoes (farm house with dog) although wellies do get left outside.

I think the change happened for me when I met my (very house proud) future mother in law who insisted shoes off and bought me a set of slippers for her house as a hint. I don't get offended (now).

There is no right and wrong here, each to their own but it is interesting to read the various arguments for and against.

Fakebook · 17/08/2013 10:34

Yanbu. My bil used to trample on our carpets with motor oil on his shoes whilst I used to scream in my head. I could never get the stains out and I hated him for it. I think he did it on purpose too.

We got wooden flooring put in the bottom half of the house a few years ago so no more problems with rude people not taking shoes off.

KFFOREVER · 17/08/2013 10:43

Its definitely shoes off in our house especially as i have a rolling ds. Visitors tend to take their shoes off as they take a look at the cream carpet. I have spare slippers if anyone gets cold feet!

OpenMindedSceptic · 17/08/2013 10:47

Shoes off in our house (does not apply to elderly, heavily pregnant or people with reduced mobility).
I automatically take my shoes off on entering other people's houses, it's the way I was brought up.
Vast majority of people who visit us take their shoes off straight away, without me having to say anything. And those who don't I found a simple 'just pop your shoes over there ' - pointing to the shoe rack - does the trick.

Tittypulumpcious · 17/08/2013 11:00

Always shoes off, I was brought up that way. Carpets aren't cheap and shoes are dirty. I don't want to pad around my own house barefoot after people have been in and out with their shoes on.

We have a sign.."Please remove your Choos" which is tongue in cheek but visitors get the hint :)

MrsMook · 17/08/2013 11:01

how do these babies of immaculate floors fare when they get mobile enough for the outdoors and start playing with mud, sticks, stones and worse?
DS had to wash his hands in a puddle the other day after getting tactile with the hubcaps. Nice.

messalina · 17/08/2013 11:26

i hate being asked to remove shoes as i could well be wearing tights with holes or if i am wearing heels it is v annoying as what i am wearing feels wrong. Carpets are naf and so is asking people to remove shoes.

Bogeyface · 17/08/2013 11:44

I genuinely dont get the hygiene argument.

If I have been out in my shoes then there is a good chance that my feet will be sweaty and hot. Some people have veruccas and fungal infections, I would rather they kept that encased in their shoes thanks! Walking down a normal street does not contaminate a shoe with anything life threatening. To reassure to the hysterical pp who scream of filth being brought into their homes, I dont know anyone who would happily tread in dog shit and then walk it all over someones carpet.

You can hoover a dusty carpet, but you cant hoover our athletes foot or a verucca virus (is it a virus?). And I rarely wear socks even in boots, I hate the feel of them, so if you insisted on me removing my shoes then it would be bare boot feet on your floors.....lovely :o

treaclesoda · 17/08/2013 15:48

I hate this accusation that I'm somehow inconsiderate, badly mannered or a bad guest because I don't automatically take my shoes off in someone's house. If I go into a house and all the people who live there are wearing their shoes, why on earth would I take mine off?
And since I've never visited a home where people aren't wearing their shoes...

I just don't understand how I am expected to read minds.

twistedtoffee · 17/08/2013 15:55

I would far prefer people walked around my house in their shoes than in their bare feet (yuk). Surely if people wipe their feet on the mat before coming in their shoes aren't going to be that dirty?

Harryhairypig · 17/08/2013 15:58

I hate taking mine off as my feet get cold and I have tendonistis so it hurts to walk in bare feet on hard floors, and tbh if they are hard floors I don't see why I can't keep them on, fair enough when its pale carpet though. But generally I leave them on unless I'm about to go into a room with pale/new carpet.

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 17/08/2013 16:23

I might get a sign to go next to the 'no cold callers ' one on the front door so people know what to expect when the come here (we're mostly shoes on for guests unless they are children with muddy shoes, might be a bit long for a sign though).

Think my German family are defective, they all seem to keep their shoes on, no carpets though.

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