I'm struggling a bit with an inner conflict and I need a MN jury verdict on whether IABU or not.
Basically I play with DS (14 mo) in the mornings, take him out to a baby group or meet with friends. We have lunch, he has a story, he goes down for a nap, then I get on with housework and work work (WAHM). When he wakes up he plays around me whilst I try and continue housework and/or work work and if he directly approaches me I will respond, but don't actively play with him unless I need a break, then we have a cuddle or a play.
Normally I feel OK about this. I've heard about benign neglect and how children need to learn to be self-entertaining, but recently his naps are all fucked up and he's constantly tired and grizzly and needy because he won;t sleep when he needs to, or he's slept at the wrong time and I still need to get these things done, so I've been sitting on the sofa trying to work and he's just been driving me to distraction trying to get my attention, but I needed to sort a bunch of stuff out before the weekend started.
I feel dreadful that I wasn't available to him, but I didn't have the time or the patience, tbh. I'm so tired and feel really snappy and I resented him for wanting me whilst I had other things I needed to do. And now he's asleep I feel ashamed for ignoring his needs to do work and for shouting at him (that was U I know. I apologised straight away and cuddled him).
AIBU to be getting on with my own thing like this, or should I just save it for when he's actually asleep?
And has anyone got any tips on keeping patience when tired and beset by a very whiny toddler?